Sometime last week, a friend asked for a loan. It is not a small loan of a couple of dollars, but a big one that goes up to four digits.
Normally I would not have hesitated, but this time, I myself am so dry that I had to turn him down. I feel really really bad because his is a genuine case where he needs the money for a real emergency, yet I am not able to help him.
I feel all the more guilty as he has helped me a few times before, not in terms of loaning me cash, but he has been a pillar of support and has lent me a listening ear each time I go to him. He never hesitated to give me his advice and always has the right words to perk up a person.
To think I have splashed money on so many unworthy causes (not counting charity)! I splashed so much money on undeserving people who had no qualms cheating me or wanted to "live off" me. If I had been more hard-hearted, perhaps I would have been able to help out my friend now and give even more.
Luckily my friend understands so he does not hold it against me. He is really a true friend, as some others will get so petty and totally stop befriending you just because it is beyond your ability to help when he / she asks.
A true friend is also one, who, despite everything, will still stick by you through thick and thin. He / She will not allow any quarrels or mistakes made to come in between the friendship, will not manipulate, not make use of you, nor take you for granted, not stop contacting you just because he / she found a partner or gets too busy or you had a disagreement.
Which is why I appreciate my best friend so much. We have been through a lot. We had our disagreements and quarrels, but despite all, we still know each others' deepest secrets and still stick by each other through all our ups and downs in our lives. I know if I am hanging on the edge of an abyss and calls her for help, she will definitely help me.
And after all the problems I had in recent months, she still stuck by me. She had never once blamed me or judged me over things I did, but would call to check on me once in a while to ensure I am alright. This is why I know I can count on her for almost anything.
Events in the past few months have made me more aware who my real friends are and who are just mere superficial friends. My real friends are those who supported me throughout, who stood by me when I was crumbling, who never judged me and who still showed their support even if they frowned upon or disapproved certain things I did.
Superficial friends are those who would be happy when something good happened to me, but when something bad happened, they started ostracising me, laughing and pointing fingers, judging me, putting me down and started avoiding me. And I had been disappointed because even those I had trusted and rather close to proved themselves to be just supercial.
True friends should be those that stick with each other and show their utmost support, and not run away or look down on each other just because a friend made a mistake. It is after all human to err, and even though the mistake might be a very major one which ultimately involved a few others, should the one who made the mistake be judged by the very people he / she trust and confide in?
The one making the mistake might have already been feeling very down, regretting bitterly and in a confused state of mind where to go from there. As friends, should we not show our moral support and our care and concern and hoping things get better for the friend, instead of just putting him / her down and cutting off contact when he / she was already in a messed-up state and need support the most?
And does the friend really need someone to point fingers and blame it all on him / her when whatever happened might not even be his / her fault in the first place? It is unfair for anyone to judge if no one knows the full story.
I have gone through quite a number of things in my life, which, if I could turn back time, I would not have let them happen. But whatever has been done could not be undone. So regretful and depressed I am, I just have to continue living on.
In a way, I am thankful all these things happened because if anything, I can finally know who are those friends truly worth keeping. For that, I will treasure them even more now. And I also finally realise who are those who have always been hypocritical and turn their backs on me the moment I run into trouble.
Normally I would not have hesitated, but this time, I myself am so dry that I had to turn him down. I feel really really bad because his is a genuine case where he needs the money for a real emergency, yet I am not able to help him.
I feel all the more guilty as he has helped me a few times before, not in terms of loaning me cash, but he has been a pillar of support and has lent me a listening ear each time I go to him. He never hesitated to give me his advice and always has the right words to perk up a person.
To think I have splashed money on so many unworthy causes (not counting charity)! I splashed so much money on undeserving people who had no qualms cheating me or wanted to "live off" me. If I had been more hard-hearted, perhaps I would have been able to help out my friend now and give even more.
Luckily my friend understands so he does not hold it against me. He is really a true friend, as some others will get so petty and totally stop befriending you just because it is beyond your ability to help when he / she asks.
A true friend is also one, who, despite everything, will still stick by you through thick and thin. He / She will not allow any quarrels or mistakes made to come in between the friendship, will not manipulate, not make use of you, nor take you for granted, not stop contacting you just because he / she found a partner or gets too busy or you had a disagreement.
Which is why I appreciate my best friend so much. We have been through a lot. We had our disagreements and quarrels, but despite all, we still know each others' deepest secrets and still stick by each other through all our ups and downs in our lives. I know if I am hanging on the edge of an abyss and calls her for help, she will definitely help me.
And after all the problems I had in recent months, she still stuck by me. She had never once blamed me or judged me over things I did, but would call to check on me once in a while to ensure I am alright. This is why I know I can count on her for almost anything.
Events in the past few months have made me more aware who my real friends are and who are just mere superficial friends. My real friends are those who supported me throughout, who stood by me when I was crumbling, who never judged me and who still showed their support even if they frowned upon or disapproved certain things I did.
Superficial friends are those who would be happy when something good happened to me, but when something bad happened, they started ostracising me, laughing and pointing fingers, judging me, putting me down and started avoiding me. And I had been disappointed because even those I had trusted and rather close to proved themselves to be just supercial.
True friends should be those that stick with each other and show their utmost support, and not run away or look down on each other just because a friend made a mistake. It is after all human to err, and even though the mistake might be a very major one which ultimately involved a few others, should the one who made the mistake be judged by the very people he / she trust and confide in?
The one making the mistake might have already been feeling very down, regretting bitterly and in a confused state of mind where to go from there. As friends, should we not show our moral support and our care and concern and hoping things get better for the friend, instead of just putting him / her down and cutting off contact when he / she was already in a messed-up state and need support the most?
And does the friend really need someone to point fingers and blame it all on him / her when whatever happened might not even be his / her fault in the first place? It is unfair for anyone to judge if no one knows the full story.
I have gone through quite a number of things in my life, which, if I could turn back time, I would not have let them happen. But whatever has been done could not be undone. So regretful and depressed I am, I just have to continue living on.
In a way, I am thankful all these things happened because if anything, I can finally know who are those friends truly worth keeping. For that, I will treasure them even more now. And I also finally realise who are those who have always been hypocritical and turn their backs on me the moment I run into trouble.
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