I was involved in a heated argument with someone a few days back. I never know a guy can be so petty! I would not even say he is a friend since he clearly does not even want to take me as a friend anymore, just because we had a few differences in opinions.
I know I am the weird type of person who do not think alike from most people. But there are certain things I really care about, like being concerned for others, like being gracious. Maybe I just function differently from most people, so in a way I do put a lot of people off, but luckily, those who still take me as a friend know how I am like and accept it.
This guy has been irritating me for ages. He was after me, so kept calling me up. In a way, I find him a bit too showy, so tried to avoid talking to him. But because he is a teacher, we ended up having quite a lot of common topics to talk about.
That fateful day, he asked if he could call me as he wanted to know my opinion on the IQ test he was giving his students. So I agreed. After I told him what I thought of the test, I was not in the mood to talk since I was (still am) upset over my friend's demise.
He coaxed me to talk about what was upsetting me, saying that he would lend a listening ear. And since I was really upset, I told him that I felt bad, partly because I was not able to help out my friend, and partly because someone who deserved to live a longer life had passed away.
Talk about lending a listening ear! He started raving on about how I should not be upset, how I should take things easy. I did not need all those! I just needed a listening ear! If he had nothing to say, I rather he not say anything!
So I told him, I was upset, but that did not mean I just sat around moping and crying; I still went to work as per normal and led my life as per normal. But in my quiet moments, I start to think and I will feel upset.
Then he started telling me, why would I be upset over my friends? If I could not help, so be it, anyway money is a sensitive issue. And besides, my friend who passed away, what had she done to me that I must be upset over her death?
I was totally riled! Does this person even have a heart?! I told him bluntly, even if it is him, and he asked me for help but I was not able to help him, or he passed away without any notice, I will also be upset, because he is my friend. Anyone who is my friend will be someone I care about and will warrant emotions in me! Anyone who has a heart will feel the same way.
Then he said in that case, why not he meet up with me the next day and perhaps he would be able to comfort me face to face? I was intending to buy a wedding gift for someone the next day (until I got struck down by the sudden fever and did not go in the end), so I told him I could not meet up with him.
He kept asking me what I would be doing, so I told him. He then asked who would I be buying the wedding gift for? So I said I know both the couple, but I was invited by the guy, and since I still have not made up my mind whether to go or not, I thought it best to just buy a gift first.
He then asked how close the guy is to me. So I asked what business is that of his? He said he was just curious, so to stop him from bugging me, I told him the guy was rather close to me but now we are just ordinary friends. He sort of guessed it was my ex-boyfriend.
And with that, it triggered off more words. He said I actually go to my ex-boyfriend's wedding? So I said, why not? If he is gracious enough to invite me, I do not see why I should not go, and anyway, I have not even decided whether I want to go. But since I am invited, even if I do not go, it is still polite to send over a wedding gift.
He then asked how come I still keep in touch with my ex? Why not? For him, once it is over, it is over. He never keeps in contact with any of his exs and neither do they, even if they get married, they do not invite him too. He said why carry on since it is all over?
So I said end of a relationship does not mean end of a friendship. If people still want to remain friends with me, it is perfectly alright. Just because two people cannot be a couple, it does not mean they cannot be friends.
After all, being a couple is of a higher status, and if we cannot foresee a future, then we can stop being a couple, but that does not mean the friendship ends. If anything, we may have gained a close friend.
He says I am probably the only person who thinks this way. No, my best friend is like this too. We attended her ex-boyfriend's wedding too, and till now, she, he and I are still close friends. I know a lot of my friends still maintain good friendship with their exs.
He says what will my boyfriend feel? So I said he does not mind, as he still keeps in touch with his ex too. And for him it is an even greater feat as he has gone through more in life than me, yet they can still maintain pretty good terms.
Finally I said, anyway, who is he to me that he must meddle in my affairs? He is of no relation to me, so why bother so much what I do? He also asked if my boyfriend ever minds I talk to other guys or go out with other guys.
Of course not! Being in a relationship means trusting each other. In fact, I do not like the guy to be too sticky or too possessive. He then said but if I am in a relationship, should I not stop meeting with all my other guy friends, as after all, people of different genders normally develop into relationship, can never remain as friends?
Really? In that case, I would either be a multiple two-timer or else I would not even have any guy friends at all! There are guys I have known for twenty years, yet we are still friends, never develop further. So who said men and women cannot be just mere platonic friends?
So in the end, he said my boyfriend must be someone really special in order to understand me. Of course! He himself will never be able to understand someone like me. And in his opinion, if he thinks he cannot understand someone or develops a friendship, he rather not even be friends with this person.
Thank goodness! At least I finally got rid of him. But still, I wonder, am I the weird one, or is he? Or is it just the case where both our personalities really clash? But anyway, like I said, who is he to tell me what to do with my life?
I know I am the weird type of person who do not think alike from most people. But there are certain things I really care about, like being concerned for others, like being gracious. Maybe I just function differently from most people, so in a way I do put a lot of people off, but luckily, those who still take me as a friend know how I am like and accept it.
This guy has been irritating me for ages. He was after me, so kept calling me up. In a way, I find him a bit too showy, so tried to avoid talking to him. But because he is a teacher, we ended up having quite a lot of common topics to talk about.
That fateful day, he asked if he could call me as he wanted to know my opinion on the IQ test he was giving his students. So I agreed. After I told him what I thought of the test, I was not in the mood to talk since I was (still am) upset over my friend's demise.
He coaxed me to talk about what was upsetting me, saying that he would lend a listening ear. And since I was really upset, I told him that I felt bad, partly because I was not able to help out my friend, and partly because someone who deserved to live a longer life had passed away.
Talk about lending a listening ear! He started raving on about how I should not be upset, how I should take things easy. I did not need all those! I just needed a listening ear! If he had nothing to say, I rather he not say anything!
So I told him, I was upset, but that did not mean I just sat around moping and crying; I still went to work as per normal and led my life as per normal. But in my quiet moments, I start to think and I will feel upset.
Then he started telling me, why would I be upset over my friends? If I could not help, so be it, anyway money is a sensitive issue. And besides, my friend who passed away, what had she done to me that I must be upset over her death?
I was totally riled! Does this person even have a heart?! I told him bluntly, even if it is him, and he asked me for help but I was not able to help him, or he passed away without any notice, I will also be upset, because he is my friend. Anyone who is my friend will be someone I care about and will warrant emotions in me! Anyone who has a heart will feel the same way.
Then he said in that case, why not he meet up with me the next day and perhaps he would be able to comfort me face to face? I was intending to buy a wedding gift for someone the next day (until I got struck down by the sudden fever and did not go in the end), so I told him I could not meet up with him.
He kept asking me what I would be doing, so I told him. He then asked who would I be buying the wedding gift for? So I said I know both the couple, but I was invited by the guy, and since I still have not made up my mind whether to go or not, I thought it best to just buy a gift first.
He then asked how close the guy is to me. So I asked what business is that of his? He said he was just curious, so to stop him from bugging me, I told him the guy was rather close to me but now we are just ordinary friends. He sort of guessed it was my ex-boyfriend.
And with that, it triggered off more words. He said I actually go to my ex-boyfriend's wedding? So I said, why not? If he is gracious enough to invite me, I do not see why I should not go, and anyway, I have not even decided whether I want to go. But since I am invited, even if I do not go, it is still polite to send over a wedding gift.
He then asked how come I still keep in touch with my ex? Why not? For him, once it is over, it is over. He never keeps in contact with any of his exs and neither do they, even if they get married, they do not invite him too. He said why carry on since it is all over?
So I said end of a relationship does not mean end of a friendship. If people still want to remain friends with me, it is perfectly alright. Just because two people cannot be a couple, it does not mean they cannot be friends.
After all, being a couple is of a higher status, and if we cannot foresee a future, then we can stop being a couple, but that does not mean the friendship ends. If anything, we may have gained a close friend.
He says I am probably the only person who thinks this way. No, my best friend is like this too. We attended her ex-boyfriend's wedding too, and till now, she, he and I are still close friends. I know a lot of my friends still maintain good friendship with their exs.
He says what will my boyfriend feel? So I said he does not mind, as he still keeps in touch with his ex too. And for him it is an even greater feat as he has gone through more in life than me, yet they can still maintain pretty good terms.
Finally I said, anyway, who is he to me that he must meddle in my affairs? He is of no relation to me, so why bother so much what I do? He also asked if my boyfriend ever minds I talk to other guys or go out with other guys.
Of course not! Being in a relationship means trusting each other. In fact, I do not like the guy to be too sticky or too possessive. He then said but if I am in a relationship, should I not stop meeting with all my other guy friends, as after all, people of different genders normally develop into relationship, can never remain as friends?
Really? In that case, I would either be a multiple two-timer or else I would not even have any guy friends at all! There are guys I have known for twenty years, yet we are still friends, never develop further. So who said men and women cannot be just mere platonic friends?
So in the end, he said my boyfriend must be someone really special in order to understand me. Of course! He himself will never be able to understand someone like me. And in his opinion, if he thinks he cannot understand someone or develops a friendship, he rather not even be friends with this person.
Thank goodness! At least I finally got rid of him. But still, I wonder, am I the weird one, or is he? Or is it just the case where both our personalities really clash? But anyway, like I said, who is he to tell me what to do with my life?
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