War heroine Elizabeth Choy passed away earlier on. The demise of two great women made me reflect on a lot of issues. I reflected on how they were remembered, by being giving, heroic, brave, and being an inspiration to others, by always having a positive outlook and never giving up.
These two women inspired me in ways no one can ever imagined. However, the greatest woman that has ever inspired me in my whole life is none other than my mum. People may scoff as I give the impression that my mum and I can never get along.
True, she has her own way of looking at things, and I have mine. Our ways do not meet so we often clash. And since we are both obstinate, neither of us ever budge or compromise.
But despite this, she is still the most capable woman I have ever known (besides Angie). She came from a poor background, had only the bare necessities when young, Chinese-educated, yet able to enter the then University of Singapore which took in only students from English schools.
Despite a switch to a full English medium, she emerged with a first-class Honours in Chemistry and Mathematics, and placed on the Dean's List every year. Even before that, in her secondary and high school days, she was the top student and able to answer the questions so well that her teacher sometimes used her answers as model answers for the class.
When she started working, she did her job so well that she became indispensable and well-known in almost every department. And when she wanted to take her Masters, she still managed to emerge as the top student despite having a demanding job, sustaining the family and supervising my brother in his studies.
But that is not all. She is equally adept at being a homemaker. She used to have to help out around the house, so she can cook, sew, clean, iron, wash and go marketing. If we do not have a maid, I am sure she can be an excellent housewife, but for the fact that she is not one to just stay home and keep the house.
My mum may be a highly-educated tough career woman, but when it comes to family, she will go all out. And I always hold her in high regard for that because of things she has done for my brother and relatives.
My first brother is not normal. This is something I have never told anyone, but it is nothing to hide too. He has Asperger's Syndrome, a part of Autism, albeit a rather mild one. But that alone makes him queer.
I love this brother more than the younger one, simply because he is more simple-minded. And normally, people who are simple-minded are kinder and not as cunning. They treat everyone with sincerity, not hypocrisy.
My mum spent her time and resources, making sure he could function like a normal person. And whatever she did, it was rather successful for a while. However, the older he got, the more peculiar he became, not by choice, because autism is a behavioural and psychological problem that the sufferer himself is not even aware of.
This was why he was sent overseas at such a young age, as my mum wanted to train him to be independant, to learn how to do things on his own. It was a very good idea on her part as after a year in Perth, he came back much better than before. He is now almost functioning like a normal person, except with the occasional quirks.
This is also why he was totally exempted from serving the nation. Physically he is fit and strong, so by right, he would have been taken to enlist in the army. Initially, my mum just wanted him downgraded to a clerical post.
But his Australian psychologist wrote a very good report on how he could only thrive in a non-uniform environment as he was not one to stick to rules, doing whatever his mind asked him to do instead. The army deemed that they have no patience for someone like him and granted him full exemption.
Looking at how my brother blossomed due to my mum's efforts, I salute her for actually taking the trouble of ensuring his entire well-being. This is also why no matter how much it costs her, she is willing to spend if it means well for him.
No doubt my mum is, well, his mum, but how many parents will actually take the time to ensure that a not-so-normal child will turn out well? Often than not, parents themselves have no time to even look after a normal child, and even if the child displays genuine symptoms of peculiarity, they take it as the child being naughty.
My mum shows her care and concern even to our relatives. I think I mentioned before that when my late cousin had the major asthmatic attack that took her life, my mum was the first to rush down to the hospital. Throughout the fenural, she kept my aunt company and comforted her throughout.
When my younger cousin had luekaemia, she rallied the staff in her company to make a bone marrow donations in the hopes of finding a suitable donor. Which is why my two aunts are so willing to do anything for her.
When some of my cousins went to further their studies overseas, my mum sponsored part of their course fees and gave them a laptop each. After my cousin's divorce, my mum always gave her generous amounts during festive seasons in a bid to help out with her child support. That explains why my relatives are all so willing to do anything for us.
This is why, despite so many differences we have, I am reluctant to go against her wishes. People have been asking me why is it if I really dislike the way my mum does things, yet I do not try breaking away from her and live my own life without any care?
Because I respect her too much. I hold her in such high esteem. And, unless it is something I really love and want at all costs, otherwise I will mostly go along with her wishes. Because she is my mum, so I believe the things she does is for my own good, and she will not harm me.
Now that Angie is gone, I have no chance to tell her how much I am in awe of her. And I have no chance of ever telling Mrs Choy how much I respected her for what she did during the war. But now, I want to tell my mum that I am very blessed to have a mother like her before it is too late.
However, I feel ashamed of myself because I feel I have let her down, I have disappointed her by not meeting up to what she wanted of me, and I am also ashamed because my mum is one really great woman, and I can never be even a quarter of who she is.
These two women inspired me in ways no one can ever imagined. However, the greatest woman that has ever inspired me in my whole life is none other than my mum. People may scoff as I give the impression that my mum and I can never get along.
True, she has her own way of looking at things, and I have mine. Our ways do not meet so we often clash. And since we are both obstinate, neither of us ever budge or compromise.
But despite this, she is still the most capable woman I have ever known (besides Angie). She came from a poor background, had only the bare necessities when young, Chinese-educated, yet able to enter the then University of Singapore which took in only students from English schools.
Despite a switch to a full English medium, she emerged with a first-class Honours in Chemistry and Mathematics, and placed on the Dean's List every year. Even before that, in her secondary and high school days, she was the top student and able to answer the questions so well that her teacher sometimes used her answers as model answers for the class.
When she started working, she did her job so well that she became indispensable and well-known in almost every department. And when she wanted to take her Masters, she still managed to emerge as the top student despite having a demanding job, sustaining the family and supervising my brother in his studies.
But that is not all. She is equally adept at being a homemaker. She used to have to help out around the house, so she can cook, sew, clean, iron, wash and go marketing. If we do not have a maid, I am sure she can be an excellent housewife, but for the fact that she is not one to just stay home and keep the house.
My mum may be a highly-educated tough career woman, but when it comes to family, she will go all out. And I always hold her in high regard for that because of things she has done for my brother and relatives.
My first brother is not normal. This is something I have never told anyone, but it is nothing to hide too. He has Asperger's Syndrome, a part of Autism, albeit a rather mild one. But that alone makes him queer.
I love this brother more than the younger one, simply because he is more simple-minded. And normally, people who are simple-minded are kinder and not as cunning. They treat everyone with sincerity, not hypocrisy.
My mum spent her time and resources, making sure he could function like a normal person. And whatever she did, it was rather successful for a while. However, the older he got, the more peculiar he became, not by choice, because autism is a behavioural and psychological problem that the sufferer himself is not even aware of.
This was why he was sent overseas at such a young age, as my mum wanted to train him to be independant, to learn how to do things on his own. It was a very good idea on her part as after a year in Perth, he came back much better than before. He is now almost functioning like a normal person, except with the occasional quirks.
This is also why he was totally exempted from serving the nation. Physically he is fit and strong, so by right, he would have been taken to enlist in the army. Initially, my mum just wanted him downgraded to a clerical post.
But his Australian psychologist wrote a very good report on how he could only thrive in a non-uniform environment as he was not one to stick to rules, doing whatever his mind asked him to do instead. The army deemed that they have no patience for someone like him and granted him full exemption.
Looking at how my brother blossomed due to my mum's efforts, I salute her for actually taking the trouble of ensuring his entire well-being. This is also why no matter how much it costs her, she is willing to spend if it means well for him.
No doubt my mum is, well, his mum, but how many parents will actually take the time to ensure that a not-so-normal child will turn out well? Often than not, parents themselves have no time to even look after a normal child, and even if the child displays genuine symptoms of peculiarity, they take it as the child being naughty.
My mum shows her care and concern even to our relatives. I think I mentioned before that when my late cousin had the major asthmatic attack that took her life, my mum was the first to rush down to the hospital. Throughout the fenural, she kept my aunt company and comforted her throughout.
When my younger cousin had luekaemia, she rallied the staff in her company to make a bone marrow donations in the hopes of finding a suitable donor. Which is why my two aunts are so willing to do anything for her.
When some of my cousins went to further their studies overseas, my mum sponsored part of their course fees and gave them a laptop each. After my cousin's divorce, my mum always gave her generous amounts during festive seasons in a bid to help out with her child support. That explains why my relatives are all so willing to do anything for us.
This is why, despite so many differences we have, I am reluctant to go against her wishes. People have been asking me why is it if I really dislike the way my mum does things, yet I do not try breaking away from her and live my own life without any care?
Because I respect her too much. I hold her in such high esteem. And, unless it is something I really love and want at all costs, otherwise I will mostly go along with her wishes. Because she is my mum, so I believe the things she does is for my own good, and she will not harm me.
Now that Angie is gone, I have no chance to tell her how much I am in awe of her. And I have no chance of ever telling Mrs Choy how much I respected her for what she did during the war. But now, I want to tell my mum that I am very blessed to have a mother like her before it is too late.
However, I feel ashamed of myself because I feel I have let her down, I have disappointed her by not meeting up to what she wanted of me, and I am also ashamed because my mum is one really great woman, and I can never be even a quarter of who she is.
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