My two Australian cousins both married Caucasians. I wonder if the youngest one will do the same. As it is, my grandmother is not happy about this, as she will much prefer them to stick to the same race. But then, it is already so hard to find the right person, does it really matter what race he / she is?
Perhaps Westerners are more open when it comes to mixed marriages. Personally I have nothing against mixed couples too, although I always say I want someone who is of the same race. Come to think of it, after so many failures, maybe I should widen my horizons, find someone of another race and culture? Then life will be more interesting. Honestly, Chinese guys are still less gracious as compared to other races.
My two cousin-in-laws are Caucasian, the blonde-haired blue-eyed types. My friend's husband is a native Papua New Guinean, of the dark skinned variety. Many people are of the view that mixed marriages will not work as both come from different cultures and backgrounds. But truth be told, as long as both couples are happy with each other, is it for anyone to condemn or judge them?
Does it mean to say that if people of the same race and culture get married, they will be happy for life and not divorce? There are so many divorces from couples of the same race and religion even. It does not mean that mixed couples will definitely split up and couples of the same race will not. When people divorce, a lot of factors are involved, and not all are due to the race issue.
Perhaps because I was from a Catholic convent, I grew up with many girls who are mixed, mostly Eurasian. Indian-Chinese, Eurasians of Spanish or Portugese descent, Indian-Eurasians. Most of them have Chinese mothers or grandmothers. Last I heard, their parents are still happy together. Rather, some pure Chinese I know come from broken homes. So why would people always think just because one marries someone from another race, the marriage is doomed to failure?
In our local society, people still frown on mixed couples. If a Chinese goes with an Indian, or a Chinese with Malay, or Chinese with Caucasian, eyes will stare and fingers will point. Especially if it is a Chinese man with a Caucasian lady, somehow people still have this mentality that Caucasians are more superior so why must a Caucasian lady "downgrade" herself to be with a Chinese man? The same thing goes for an Indian man with a Chinese lady, like as if the lady is "downgrading" herself to be with the man.
People will say the worst things when it comes to a Caucasian man and a Chinese lady. She will automatically be labelled as a SPG, a slut, as if locals are not good enough for her. In all honesty, local guys are really not good enough! (Okay, I am being very mean here, I should say in general, some local guys are really not good enough). Give me a local guy (single, in his thirties) who is willing to see beyond the lady as a sex object, and actually talk to her intellectually instead of being so shallow, thinking that all girls must fall at his feet and bed him as and when he asked.
Instead of saying the girl is a SPG (granted some of them still have this attitude, but not all), why can the same local guys not examine themselves and ask themselves why they are losing the local girls? And the guys blame the girls when they have to resort to finding a wife overseas?! Why not first examine their attitudes? If they continue being so self-centred, chauvinistic and take the girls for granted, no wonder the girls will want to go for someone who cares for them, treats them well and make them feel equal, be it someone of another race or not.
Women are smart and educated nowadays. They no longer want to be subjected to men's whims and fancies, or being submissive all the time only to have the men take them for granted. They have their own say and opinions, and want to be valued for their intelligence, and not for flings. If by chance a local guy is not able to give her that and a foreigner is able to, then there is no need to guess who she will go for.
The bottomline is that, with globalisation, there will be more and more foreigners, be it in this country or other countries. One can find one's true love anywhere, anytime, any race. So if in the end someone ends up with someone else of another race, it may be more due to compatibility, similar interests and values, and not anything else. So people should stop ostracising mixed couples; rather accept and admire that they can get together despite the vast difference in culture and upbringing.
Perhaps Westerners are more open when it comes to mixed marriages. Personally I have nothing against mixed couples too, although I always say I want someone who is of the same race. Come to think of it, after so many failures, maybe I should widen my horizons, find someone of another race and culture? Then life will be more interesting. Honestly, Chinese guys are still less gracious as compared to other races.
My two cousin-in-laws are Caucasian, the blonde-haired blue-eyed types. My friend's husband is a native Papua New Guinean, of the dark skinned variety. Many people are of the view that mixed marriages will not work as both come from different cultures and backgrounds. But truth be told, as long as both couples are happy with each other, is it for anyone to condemn or judge them?
Does it mean to say that if people of the same race and culture get married, they will be happy for life and not divorce? There are so many divorces from couples of the same race and religion even. It does not mean that mixed couples will definitely split up and couples of the same race will not. When people divorce, a lot of factors are involved, and not all are due to the race issue.
Perhaps because I was from a Catholic convent, I grew up with many girls who are mixed, mostly Eurasian. Indian-Chinese, Eurasians of Spanish or Portugese descent, Indian-Eurasians. Most of them have Chinese mothers or grandmothers. Last I heard, their parents are still happy together. Rather, some pure Chinese I know come from broken homes. So why would people always think just because one marries someone from another race, the marriage is doomed to failure?
In our local society, people still frown on mixed couples. If a Chinese goes with an Indian, or a Chinese with Malay, or Chinese with Caucasian, eyes will stare and fingers will point. Especially if it is a Chinese man with a Caucasian lady, somehow people still have this mentality that Caucasians are more superior so why must a Caucasian lady "downgrade" herself to be with a Chinese man? The same thing goes for an Indian man with a Chinese lady, like as if the lady is "downgrading" herself to be with the man.
People will say the worst things when it comes to a Caucasian man and a Chinese lady. She will automatically be labelled as a SPG, a slut, as if locals are not good enough for her. In all honesty, local guys are really not good enough! (Okay, I am being very mean here, I should say in general, some local guys are really not good enough). Give me a local guy (single, in his thirties) who is willing to see beyond the lady as a sex object, and actually talk to her intellectually instead of being so shallow, thinking that all girls must fall at his feet and bed him as and when he asked.
Instead of saying the girl is a SPG (granted some of them still have this attitude, but not all), why can the same local guys not examine themselves and ask themselves why they are losing the local girls? And the guys blame the girls when they have to resort to finding a wife overseas?! Why not first examine their attitudes? If they continue being so self-centred, chauvinistic and take the girls for granted, no wonder the girls will want to go for someone who cares for them, treats them well and make them feel equal, be it someone of another race or not.
Women are smart and educated nowadays. They no longer want to be subjected to men's whims and fancies, or being submissive all the time only to have the men take them for granted. They have their own say and opinions, and want to be valued for their intelligence, and not for flings. If by chance a local guy is not able to give her that and a foreigner is able to, then there is no need to guess who she will go for.
The bottomline is that, with globalisation, there will be more and more foreigners, be it in this country or other countries. One can find one's true love anywhere, anytime, any race. So if in the end someone ends up with someone else of another race, it may be more due to compatibility, similar interests and values, and not anything else. So people should stop ostracising mixed couples; rather accept and admire that they can get together despite the vast difference in culture and upbringing.
2 comments:
i don't think our local society frowns on mixed couples anymore. it's accepted by and large.
going by the majority of the friends and acquaintances i know. by and large, most of us are not pure ethnic anything and neither are we dating pure ethnic anything. it's completely cosmopolitan.
what's important is the right fit. not race. it's the culture and background that is the deciding factor if a couple clicks. or not.
Very true. But there are still locals, heartlanders especially, who point fingers and spread rumours about mixed couples. Sometimes I wish these couples in question can be left alone, after all they are people like everyone else, what does it matter whichever race they are?
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