My best friend is now officially a missus! Or a madam? I am so happy for her! I got her something from Malta to commemorate her solemnisation, but since she has been so busy, we have not had the time to meet up. She has promised to call me soon, then we can have a gathering, she and her hubby and I will bring the guy with me.
Come to think of it, as a woman, becoming someone's missus is a big thing indeed. It is the next stage of life, where one is no longer a mere girlfriend but a wife, someone to support the man and grow with him in love, in partnership, creating a family together. It is a scary thought actually.
A girlfriend is different from being a wife. As someone's girlfriend, one can still throw some tantrums, expect the guy to sort of accommodate you a little at times, to take care of you (not that this should be done all the time). But as someone's wife, the woman has to be prepared to take on the responsibility as a caregiver, a homemaker, a pillar of support, a partner.
Maybe because in the Chinese context, a woman is expected to swallow her tears and sufferings, and just keep giving, do her best to take care of her husband and her family to the most of her ability, making sure they are comfortable. A successful woman, in my opinion, is not one who is at the tops of her career, but one who has a wonderful and happy family, because nothing beats the warmth and love a family can provide.
Not everyone is prepared to take the role of a wife though. Many people are still stuck at the "girlfriend" stage. A wife's role is more than just a mere girlfriend. Only when a couple is fully ready to take on the partnership of having a future together, withstanding all ups and downs, being there for each other despite all odds then they are truly ready to grow as one.
I am not saying that all couples will have a difficult path. My best friend and her hubby's relationship is a very natural process. They met each other, dated, feel very comfortable with each other, have the chemistry, so continued progressing and developing, and now they are together as one. Many couples are like this, let things progress naturally. These are the luckier ones.
But there are some who have to overcome difficulties, in terms of race, religion, cultural differences. Like my cousin and his new wife. One of my friends and her husband. Yet because of all the difficulties they have to overcome, they emerged with their relationship stronger than ever, becoming even more sure they want to be together.
Which is why in wedding vows, there is always a clause stating, "be there for each other in sickness and in death, for better for worse, till death do us part". Because a marriage between two people is not just to be there for each other through happy times. The test is whether they can be there for each other through difficulties, like bankruptcy, like death of a loved one, like a job loss, or even the loss of a child. A real marriage is based on the commitment each other shows to the other in times of crisis, and not in times of happiness.
Anyway, due to three people I care about getting married almost around the same time, I gave away three different wedding cards, each with a different inscription. And I find the inscriptions really true of what marriage is about.
The first card reads, "In celebration of your marriage : 'When two people find with each other new beauty in everyday living and open their hearts to each other by trusting and sharing and giving .... When two people share with each other a world of contentment and fun, when they know they are meant for each other .... Then two people truly are one.' May you share with each other all the love, joy and companionship a happy marriage can bring."
The second card reads, "Love is the Greatest Gift Of All, To love is to share life together, To build special plans just for two, To work side by side and then smile, As one by one, dreams all come true. To love is to have someone special on whom you can always depend through the years, sharing laughter and tears as a partner, a lover, a friend. To love is to make special memories of moments you love to recall. Of all the good things that sharing life brings, Love is the greatest of all. Wishing you joy in all that you do, Wishing you dreams still yet to come true .... But most of all .... Wishing you love, Congratulations"
The third card reads, "The wonder of marriage begins with a wedding where two people promise to love, come what may .... The comfort of marriage continues with kindness and care that they give one another each day .... The blessings of marriage grow precious and deep as the desires of a lifetime unfold, and both husband and wife find the meaning of life in their beautiful promise 'to have and to hold'. May your joy grow even greater and your love grow even stronger as you go through life together"
Beautiful and meaningful, right? These should be what love and marriage is all about. Of course, not forgetting my favourite from "Corpse Bride", which I find very true in a marriage context too, "With this hand, I wipe away your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I light up your darkness, and with this ring, I ask you to be mine."
Hopefully, by the time I get married (if and when that happens), I will be able to adhere to all these and have a wonderful life together with whoever my husband is and our future family.
Come to think of it, as a woman, becoming someone's missus is a big thing indeed. It is the next stage of life, where one is no longer a mere girlfriend but a wife, someone to support the man and grow with him in love, in partnership, creating a family together. It is a scary thought actually.
A girlfriend is different from being a wife. As someone's girlfriend, one can still throw some tantrums, expect the guy to sort of accommodate you a little at times, to take care of you (not that this should be done all the time). But as someone's wife, the woman has to be prepared to take on the responsibility as a caregiver, a homemaker, a pillar of support, a partner.
Maybe because in the Chinese context, a woman is expected to swallow her tears and sufferings, and just keep giving, do her best to take care of her husband and her family to the most of her ability, making sure they are comfortable. A successful woman, in my opinion, is not one who is at the tops of her career, but one who has a wonderful and happy family, because nothing beats the warmth and love a family can provide.
Not everyone is prepared to take the role of a wife though. Many people are still stuck at the "girlfriend" stage. A wife's role is more than just a mere girlfriend. Only when a couple is fully ready to take on the partnership of having a future together, withstanding all ups and downs, being there for each other despite all odds then they are truly ready to grow as one.
I am not saying that all couples will have a difficult path. My best friend and her hubby's relationship is a very natural process. They met each other, dated, feel very comfortable with each other, have the chemistry, so continued progressing and developing, and now they are together as one. Many couples are like this, let things progress naturally. These are the luckier ones.
But there are some who have to overcome difficulties, in terms of race, religion, cultural differences. Like my cousin and his new wife. One of my friends and her husband. Yet because of all the difficulties they have to overcome, they emerged with their relationship stronger than ever, becoming even more sure they want to be together.
Which is why in wedding vows, there is always a clause stating, "be there for each other in sickness and in death, for better for worse, till death do us part". Because a marriage between two people is not just to be there for each other through happy times. The test is whether they can be there for each other through difficulties, like bankruptcy, like death of a loved one, like a job loss, or even the loss of a child. A real marriage is based on the commitment each other shows to the other in times of crisis, and not in times of happiness.
Anyway, due to three people I care about getting married almost around the same time, I gave away three different wedding cards, each with a different inscription. And I find the inscriptions really true of what marriage is about.
The first card reads, "In celebration of your marriage : 'When two people find with each other new beauty in everyday living and open their hearts to each other by trusting and sharing and giving .... When two people share with each other a world of contentment and fun, when they know they are meant for each other .... Then two people truly are one.' May you share with each other all the love, joy and companionship a happy marriage can bring."
The second card reads, "Love is the Greatest Gift Of All, To love is to share life together, To build special plans just for two, To work side by side and then smile, As one by one, dreams all come true. To love is to have someone special on whom you can always depend through the years, sharing laughter and tears as a partner, a lover, a friend. To love is to make special memories of moments you love to recall. Of all the good things that sharing life brings, Love is the greatest of all. Wishing you joy in all that you do, Wishing you dreams still yet to come true .... But most of all .... Wishing you love, Congratulations"
The third card reads, "The wonder of marriage begins with a wedding where two people promise to love, come what may .... The comfort of marriage continues with kindness and care that they give one another each day .... The blessings of marriage grow precious and deep as the desires of a lifetime unfold, and both husband and wife find the meaning of life in their beautiful promise 'to have and to hold'. May your joy grow even greater and your love grow even stronger as you go through life together"
Beautiful and meaningful, right? These should be what love and marriage is all about. Of course, not forgetting my favourite from "Corpse Bride", which I find very true in a marriage context too, "With this hand, I wipe away your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I light up your darkness, and with this ring, I ask you to be mine."
Hopefully, by the time I get married (if and when that happens), I will be able to adhere to all these and have a wonderful life together with whoever my husband is and our future family.
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