Some people I know are overwhelmed by the fact that I come from a close-knit family. To many of the locals, they hardly get to mingle with their relatives, even during Chinese New Year, thus these people are quite surprised that I am close to my cousins and immediate extended family. I, on the other hand, used to be quite surprised that people do not know who their extended family is, because I am brought up in such a way that we share very close family bonding.
In fact, I have two elder female cousins whom I confide things in, and whom I treat as the elder sisters I never had. This confidence is even extended to one of their husbands, whom I treat as an elder brother. Then of course, there is my godmother (my eldest cousin) whom I discuss religion and theological issues with.
Since young, it was a routine of family gatherings and reunions. Birthdays of the elder relatives, mid-autumn festivals, mid-winter festivals, dumpling festivals, even Ching Ming (what is the English term for that?), and of course, Chinese New Year. I used to envy my friends for being so free during Chinese New Year when I was busy running around visiting relatives and having reunions.
I think the reason my best friend and I can get along so well is because she herself comes from a close-knit family. Her parents also make it a point to have gatherings every now and then with the extended family, so she knows what I am talking about when I say my house can be rather noisy and bustling at times.
When I started dating, the guys in the past never really have big reunions with their respective extended families, except the occasional Chinese New Year gatherings, so they always got rather overwhelmed when I had big gatherings so often, especially those weekends when we used to go to my grandmother's place for dinner.
To them (the guys I used to date), they felt that a relationship should not always involve a family outing, and they got rather uncomfortable with the idea of mingling around with so many people, thus they never wanted to come along even when my relatives invited them.
Of course I used to be rather envious as my cousins' other halves would be there, and mine would always not be around. In the past I did not mind so much, but later I realise that if one wants to be with a person, he / she should accept the other family's customs and traditions, is it not?
I see my cousins' other halves always trying to please my family members, yet my own boyfriend(s) could not be bothered to. However, I always tried to please their family members, because to me, I always adhere to the belief that to be with a guy also extends to being good to his family members.
But like what I have come to realise, if the guy does not even want to make an effort to know my family, then perhaps he is not worth my time in the first place. Afterall, I am not about to give up my family for anyone. Thus, I rather be with someone who at least knows what a close-knit family is, and do not mind gatherings and reunions. At least the guy I am sort of seeing right now shares the same attitudes and values towards this. And that makes me really glad!
In fact, I have two elder female cousins whom I confide things in, and whom I treat as the elder sisters I never had. This confidence is even extended to one of their husbands, whom I treat as an elder brother. Then of course, there is my godmother (my eldest cousin) whom I discuss religion and theological issues with.
Since young, it was a routine of family gatherings and reunions. Birthdays of the elder relatives, mid-autumn festivals, mid-winter festivals, dumpling festivals, even Ching Ming (what is the English term for that?), and of course, Chinese New Year. I used to envy my friends for being so free during Chinese New Year when I was busy running around visiting relatives and having reunions.
I think the reason my best friend and I can get along so well is because she herself comes from a close-knit family. Her parents also make it a point to have gatherings every now and then with the extended family, so she knows what I am talking about when I say my house can be rather noisy and bustling at times.
When I started dating, the guys in the past never really have big reunions with their respective extended families, except the occasional Chinese New Year gatherings, so they always got rather overwhelmed when I had big gatherings so often, especially those weekends when we used to go to my grandmother's place for dinner.
To them (the guys I used to date), they felt that a relationship should not always involve a family outing, and they got rather uncomfortable with the idea of mingling around with so many people, thus they never wanted to come along even when my relatives invited them.
Of course I used to be rather envious as my cousins' other halves would be there, and mine would always not be around. In the past I did not mind so much, but later I realise that if one wants to be with a person, he / she should accept the other family's customs and traditions, is it not?
I see my cousins' other halves always trying to please my family members, yet my own boyfriend(s) could not be bothered to. However, I always tried to please their family members, because to me, I always adhere to the belief that to be with a guy also extends to being good to his family members.
But like what I have come to realise, if the guy does not even want to make an effort to know my family, then perhaps he is not worth my time in the first place. Afterall, I am not about to give up my family for anyone. Thus, I rather be with someone who at least knows what a close-knit family is, and do not mind gatherings and reunions. At least the guy I am sort of seeing right now shares the same attitudes and values towards this. And that makes me really glad!
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