Discipline is never really a part of my life. Of course, I go through life knowing what is responsibility (although I cannot profess I am as responsible as most people as I tend to procrastinate), but responsibility does not equate to discipline. Responsibility means knowing what you need to do. Discipline is the determination to do it.
In essence, I am a lazy and messy person and a big procrastinator. Which is why lately my boss has been coming after me to clear my table, as he says how can one work with such a mess? It is never a habit of mine to keep things clean and tidy. I know I need to clean up, but I keep putting it off.
When I was younger, I had my mum breathing down my neck all the time, telling me what to do. I resented that, as I thought I could make my own decisions without her making it seemed like I am but a machine, just following orders and instructions. Ironically, now when she is no longer breathing down my neck, I became lazier and more indisciplined.
The thing is I know what I need to do, in terms of work, study, planning for the future, yet for some reason or the other, I just keep putting things off. I did study, did work, but honestly speaking, I could have done better. I will not say I did not put in effort, but I definitely did not give my best shot.
If only I had been disciplined to just put in a couple of hours studying every night like I promised myself instead of sleeping more, or if I could have saved a bit more money every month instead of splurging when I was young, perhaps I could have graduated with honours, or would have more substantial savings.
If only I went through my driving lessons diligently, instead of always cancelling because I was tired after a hard days' work, I could have already been driving for a few years, and perhaps even have a set of wheels of my own, instead of always relying on others to drive me around.
But all these "if onlys" do not matter now. What matters is how I want to live the remaining days of my life. Do I want to continue living life in my own comfort zone, or do I want to achieve something? I see how the guy puts aside time everyday to prepare for his upcoming piano examinations, and I am really inspired.
In order to achieve something, it is not just talking about it, or planning it. It is actually doing it. And doing it may need to take time, effort and determination. In short, discipline. Only with discipline can one achieve everything one sets out to do. So I need more discipline, in my work, in my studies, in planning for my future. Only with discipline will my life improve and I will have a better sense of achievement and satisfaction. Then years down the road, I can truly look back with no regrets.
In essence, I am a lazy and messy person and a big procrastinator. Which is why lately my boss has been coming after me to clear my table, as he says how can one work with such a mess? It is never a habit of mine to keep things clean and tidy. I know I need to clean up, but I keep putting it off.
When I was younger, I had my mum breathing down my neck all the time, telling me what to do. I resented that, as I thought I could make my own decisions without her making it seemed like I am but a machine, just following orders and instructions. Ironically, now when she is no longer breathing down my neck, I became lazier and more indisciplined.
The thing is I know what I need to do, in terms of work, study, planning for the future, yet for some reason or the other, I just keep putting things off. I did study, did work, but honestly speaking, I could have done better. I will not say I did not put in effort, but I definitely did not give my best shot.
If only I had been disciplined to just put in a couple of hours studying every night like I promised myself instead of sleeping more, or if I could have saved a bit more money every month instead of splurging when I was young, perhaps I could have graduated with honours, or would have more substantial savings.
If only I went through my driving lessons diligently, instead of always cancelling because I was tired after a hard days' work, I could have already been driving for a few years, and perhaps even have a set of wheels of my own, instead of always relying on others to drive me around.
But all these "if onlys" do not matter now. What matters is how I want to live the remaining days of my life. Do I want to continue living life in my own comfort zone, or do I want to achieve something? I see how the guy puts aside time everyday to prepare for his upcoming piano examinations, and I am really inspired.
In order to achieve something, it is not just talking about it, or planning it. It is actually doing it. And doing it may need to take time, effort and determination. In short, discipline. Only with discipline can one achieve everything one sets out to do. So I need more discipline, in my work, in my studies, in planning for my future. Only with discipline will my life improve and I will have a better sense of achievement and satisfaction. Then years down the road, I can truly look back with no regrets.
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