I seriously need a break! Strange right, needing a break just two weeks after a break. I thought the Phuket trip is my long-awaited break, but it was such a short time that before I knew it, I was back to fighting gossip and politics again at some people in my office who get into cliques and gossip and back stab everyone else except themselves.
Why do people strut around thinking they are the kings (queens in this case) and everyone else have to bow down to them? I am not in the habit of sucking up to people! I give respect where respect is due, but not if it is imposed or demanded upon! If anyone is to want respect, then he / she should learn how to respect others first!
Thus I need a real break! One month, two months, six months, or even a year off! If only I can afford not to work for a year, I will sure take a gap year and go travelling, administering to those in need, see the world, helping others. Unfortunately, the opportunity cost is simply too great, so I have to contend with starting each day in the office, hoping things are better.
I enjoy my work. I like this company. I have learnt a lot, much more than what I have learnt in the previous firms I worked in. I like the top management - they are humble, down to earth and nice people who do not have their noses high up in the air, unlike other bosses. I genuinely like some of my colleagues.
But it is some others who is making the working environment a torture. Despite everything, I find the working culture here getting more and more unbearable, more and more unhealthy. Yesterday I lost my temper. Problems have been accumulating ever since I came back to work. I almost broke down. I really lashed out at some people.
Some of you know I can have a fiery temper. I have mellowed down a lot through the years. I could not even remember when was the last time I actually lost my temper. Nowadays it is just to live and let live. But yesterday I really let out. It is not a good thing actually, losing my temper only makes me emotionally drained and then I get so tired the rest of the day. I hardly have any energy to ice-skate, was in such a daze the rest of the day that even my "coach" was unhappy.
Still, I think that person well deserves it. I am a human, not a rubbish dump! And I do not appreciate people practicing double standards, I find that so hypocritical! If someone picks on things I do, then why does this person allow people of the same clique to do the same things and more, and they can get away with it? If I cannot do certain things, then the same standard should be applied to everyone with no exceptions!
I have always been told not to be trifled with certain people. It is work, not personal. That is what I have always been telling myself. Work, not personal. So I have nothing against people personally. However, people are being personal to me, simply because I do not suck up to others. I see no reason why I should. I believe in showing my true self and not some faker who goes around bootlicking. So if people have issues with that, so be it!
Gosh.... I really really need a hug... An embrace, a pat on the back, just to comfort and tell me everything is all right. Any volunteers?
Why do people strut around thinking they are the kings (queens in this case) and everyone else have to bow down to them? I am not in the habit of sucking up to people! I give respect where respect is due, but not if it is imposed or demanded upon! If anyone is to want respect, then he / she should learn how to respect others first!
Thus I need a real break! One month, two months, six months, or even a year off! If only I can afford not to work for a year, I will sure take a gap year and go travelling, administering to those in need, see the world, helping others. Unfortunately, the opportunity cost is simply too great, so I have to contend with starting each day in the office, hoping things are better.
I enjoy my work. I like this company. I have learnt a lot, much more than what I have learnt in the previous firms I worked in. I like the top management - they are humble, down to earth and nice people who do not have their noses high up in the air, unlike other bosses. I genuinely like some of my colleagues.
But it is some others who is making the working environment a torture. Despite everything, I find the working culture here getting more and more unbearable, more and more unhealthy. Yesterday I lost my temper. Problems have been accumulating ever since I came back to work. I almost broke down. I really lashed out at some people.
Some of you know I can have a fiery temper. I have mellowed down a lot through the years. I could not even remember when was the last time I actually lost my temper. Nowadays it is just to live and let live. But yesterday I really let out. It is not a good thing actually, losing my temper only makes me emotionally drained and then I get so tired the rest of the day. I hardly have any energy to ice-skate, was in such a daze the rest of the day that even my "coach" was unhappy.
Still, I think that person well deserves it. I am a human, not a rubbish dump! And I do not appreciate people practicing double standards, I find that so hypocritical! If someone picks on things I do, then why does this person allow people of the same clique to do the same things and more, and they can get away with it? If I cannot do certain things, then the same standard should be applied to everyone with no exceptions!
I have always been told not to be trifled with certain people. It is work, not personal. That is what I have always been telling myself. Work, not personal. So I have nothing against people personally. However, people are being personal to me, simply because I do not suck up to others. I see no reason why I should. I believe in showing my true self and not some faker who goes around bootlicking. So if people have issues with that, so be it!
Gosh.... I really really need a hug... An embrace, a pat on the back, just to comfort and tell me everything is all right. Any volunteers?
1 comments:
I would be more than willing to give you a nice big hug ... unfortunately: (1) I am on the other side of the globe and (2) I am quite cold and distant in person (notwithstanding that my mother was a great hugger - she always hugged my friends).
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