I was away for an intensive retreat for the weekend. The workshops covered are rather common sensical topics on the choices we make in our lives with regards to the people we have relationships with (parents, siblings, employers, employees, friends, etc).
We had to stay in a retreat house and most of the participants have certain issues in their lives which they need to find answers to and make choices. Issues like boy-girl relationships, communication with parents and peers, forgiveness and healing, getting rid of their hurts and bitterness.
Come to think of it, at this stage in my life, I am pretty satisfied. I have started getting along with my parents since a few years back. I have great friends. I am enjoying my life, living a fun and enriching one. Work wise there is still ups and downs, but there is nothing to get me really cheesed off and bitter about.
Hence, I find it refreshing to hear how others rave and rant for once. Perhaps just a few years back, I was the one who would be raving and ranting, but this time round, whatever covered in the retreat are rather in sync with my values, so I see no further things to contribute. There are those who had gone through bad times so they were challenging some of the things covered.
People were complaining about family problems, relationship problems, lack of communication with their parents. After hearing their sharing, I realize actually I have been there done that. Who had not suffered a breakup, or numerous breakups, sometimes after a very long-lasting relationship? Who had not had communication problems with their parents?
Instead of feeling bitter and think the whole world is against you, one can choose either to wallow in misery or choose to move on. I was a mess for a long time, hence all my relationships failed, be it amongst parents, relatives, guys I have dated, friends. I lost quite a lot of friends because of my own actions as who would like to hang out with someone who took things so hard and personal?
Then once my relationship with my parents improved and I became a happier and more carefree person, I find that my self-esteem and confidence improve too. Once that happens, my relationships with everyone else improve. I found back my long-lost friends, I made new friends, I have never been happier.
Perhaps happiness is really dependent on ourselves? We can choose to remain unhappy or we can choose to move on and start anew. Once I moved on and started anew, things automatically fall into place.
Now if only I can have the same outlook and attitude towards any emotional problems in the future! Afterall, love relationships are the most complicating – they can make someone totally intelligent, logical and practical become depressed, moping around and frustrated all at the same time!
We had to stay in a retreat house and most of the participants have certain issues in their lives which they need to find answers to and make choices. Issues like boy-girl relationships, communication with parents and peers, forgiveness and healing, getting rid of their hurts and bitterness.
Come to think of it, at this stage in my life, I am pretty satisfied. I have started getting along with my parents since a few years back. I have great friends. I am enjoying my life, living a fun and enriching one. Work wise there is still ups and downs, but there is nothing to get me really cheesed off and bitter about.
Hence, I find it refreshing to hear how others rave and rant for once. Perhaps just a few years back, I was the one who would be raving and ranting, but this time round, whatever covered in the retreat are rather in sync with my values, so I see no further things to contribute. There are those who had gone through bad times so they were challenging some of the things covered.
People were complaining about family problems, relationship problems, lack of communication with their parents. After hearing their sharing, I realize actually I have been there done that. Who had not suffered a breakup, or numerous breakups, sometimes after a very long-lasting relationship? Who had not had communication problems with their parents?
Instead of feeling bitter and think the whole world is against you, one can choose either to wallow in misery or choose to move on. I was a mess for a long time, hence all my relationships failed, be it amongst parents, relatives, guys I have dated, friends. I lost quite a lot of friends because of my own actions as who would like to hang out with someone who took things so hard and personal?
Then once my relationship with my parents improved and I became a happier and more carefree person, I find that my self-esteem and confidence improve too. Once that happens, my relationships with everyone else improve. I found back my long-lost friends, I made new friends, I have never been happier.
Perhaps happiness is really dependent on ourselves? We can choose to remain unhappy or we can choose to move on and start anew. Once I moved on and started anew, things automatically fall into place.
Now if only I can have the same outlook and attitude towards any emotional problems in the future! Afterall, love relationships are the most complicating – they can make someone totally intelligent, logical and practical become depressed, moping around and frustrated all at the same time!
2 comments:
I attended the CHOICE Weekend bout 3 years back and DIDN'T enjoy it.
Having to hand-in our cellphones for the weekend and having to follow the same routine for all the sessions, I felt like a prisoner on Pulau Jerejak.
I had a bad experience before at Love & Life when a love letter I wrote to my mum backfired.
So this time when they asked us to write a letter to our parents, I only wrote one letter to my late dad, leaving my mum out.
One of the facilitators refused to let me leave the room until I wrote a love letter to my mum. I explained to her about my bad experience but she refused to listen. In the end I just walked out. Since when do they force us to do something we don't want to do?
Writing a personal letter to our parents has to come from the heart and not be forced.
So sorry to hear about your bad experience. For us, the presenters really left us alone and did not bug us when we were given the time to write the letters, so there were some who had nothing to write, but nobody questioned. It's true that things like that should come from oneself and not imposed by others.
Post a Comment