There is this guy whom I am recently acquainted with. I do not have that good an impression because he is another one of those local jokers who are only out for flings. I keep telling people that if they think friendship equates to flings, then do not come look for me.
However there is this favour which I need, and he is the only one in the position to help me out. It is just a small favour, but it means a lot to me. Since I know his expertise, I asked him for help.
Given a choice, I would not have even talked to him, but in this case, I cannot be choosy as certain things need to be done. Besides, throughout one’s lifetimes, there will surely be some people we cannot get along with so we just have to take it as it is.
He managed to help me out, for which I am really grateful. I will help him out or pay him back a favour once an opportunity arises. But the thing is, he takes it that he has done me a favour, so I must establish a “close” friendship with him, ie he wants to hold my hand, hug me, kiss me, have sex with me.
He said that he finds me attractive, but he does not intend to have a serious girlfriend or get married, so can I just be his “close” friend? Does being attracted to someone means you have to touch the person or sleep with the person?!
And ever since I asked him for help until the deed is completed, he has been asking me everyday when I can go out with him. I do not take that as being a “close” friend but a sex buddy. There is a distinction, and I am not nor ever going to be anyone’s sex buddy.
Then he asked what if it is just touching, kissing, etc, but no sex? What does he take me for?! I told him straight off that if he thinks that, then do not ever ask me out or talk to me again. He kept saying that he is attracted to me, with which I told him whatever it is, show more respect to a lady. Do not assume everyone is so easy or loose or just allow anyone to do anything.
He maintained that he is already showing me enough respect by asking me in the first place. But honestly, does a guy ask a girl that type of question, especially since they do not know each other that well, they are not or about to become an item, and she has clearly indicated she is not interested in flings?
All favours aside, and I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but does it mean I have to bed him or have a fling just because he did me a favour? I always thought doing favours for people normally mean you help them out, and they help you out. But if you choose to help, then do it without expecting any favours back. In any case, you have a choice whether to help.
If I choose to help, I do it sincerely, and that person need not pay me back in any way as I take it as a good deed done and my friend is happy. My brother always said I am stupid to get taken advantage of, but I maintain that being nice to people is really a good feeling. What for be so calculative among friends?
If I really cannot help, I will send my apologies, and that is that. People will not blame me for not being able to help out, although there are some who think I am selfish, but there are times when I cannot even help myself. Times like these I need to take care of myself first, and I am sure anyone can relate to that.
The thing is, if you choose to help someone, then do it sincerely with a warm heart with no expectations that the person has to do something back for you in return, especially not in ways like that I mentioned above. I believe most people are grateful enough to try and return the favour, but do not demand on others how they shall pay you back.
I do not regret asking him for help because he really is the only one in the position who can help me, but I am just disgusted at the shallowness of some people, all the more so since he is almost middle age. If he cannot do it, I will prefer him to say he cannot, rather than rendering me the favour then expecting me to sleep around with him.
However there is this favour which I need, and he is the only one in the position to help me out. It is just a small favour, but it means a lot to me. Since I know his expertise, I asked him for help.
Given a choice, I would not have even talked to him, but in this case, I cannot be choosy as certain things need to be done. Besides, throughout one’s lifetimes, there will surely be some people we cannot get along with so we just have to take it as it is.
He managed to help me out, for which I am really grateful. I will help him out or pay him back a favour once an opportunity arises. But the thing is, he takes it that he has done me a favour, so I must establish a “close” friendship with him, ie he wants to hold my hand, hug me, kiss me, have sex with me.
He said that he finds me attractive, but he does not intend to have a serious girlfriend or get married, so can I just be his “close” friend? Does being attracted to someone means you have to touch the person or sleep with the person?!
And ever since I asked him for help until the deed is completed, he has been asking me everyday when I can go out with him. I do not take that as being a “close” friend but a sex buddy. There is a distinction, and I am not nor ever going to be anyone’s sex buddy.
Then he asked what if it is just touching, kissing, etc, but no sex? What does he take me for?! I told him straight off that if he thinks that, then do not ever ask me out or talk to me again. He kept saying that he is attracted to me, with which I told him whatever it is, show more respect to a lady. Do not assume everyone is so easy or loose or just allow anyone to do anything.
He maintained that he is already showing me enough respect by asking me in the first place. But honestly, does a guy ask a girl that type of question, especially since they do not know each other that well, they are not or about to become an item, and she has clearly indicated she is not interested in flings?
All favours aside, and I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but does it mean I have to bed him or have a fling just because he did me a favour? I always thought doing favours for people normally mean you help them out, and they help you out. But if you choose to help, then do it without expecting any favours back. In any case, you have a choice whether to help.
If I choose to help, I do it sincerely, and that person need not pay me back in any way as I take it as a good deed done and my friend is happy. My brother always said I am stupid to get taken advantage of, but I maintain that being nice to people is really a good feeling. What for be so calculative among friends?
If I really cannot help, I will send my apologies, and that is that. People will not blame me for not being able to help out, although there are some who think I am selfish, but there are times when I cannot even help myself. Times like these I need to take care of myself first, and I am sure anyone can relate to that.
The thing is, if you choose to help someone, then do it sincerely with a warm heart with no expectations that the person has to do something back for you in return, especially not in ways like that I mentioned above. I believe most people are grateful enough to try and return the favour, but do not demand on others how they shall pay you back.
I do not regret asking him for help because he really is the only one in the position who can help me, but I am just disgusted at the shallowness of some people, all the more so since he is almost middle age. If he cannot do it, I will prefer him to say he cannot, rather than rendering me the favour then expecting me to sleep around with him.
6 comments:
Then he asked what if it is just touching, kissing, etc, but no sex?
*lol* What a loser!
dang! that's sad for him to resort to those.
tell him to grow up.
Well, seems that there are quite a number of females out there that accedes to such requests.
I really can't think of any other thing that allows this kind attitude to continue. (It has to be working somehow, else the guy would have to change his modus operandi.)
Not to mention that Ms. Cel seems to meet a LOT of these type...
Anon_X, Gus & Imp : Well, there are all kinds of people out there.
Ole Wolvie : Yes, there are a lot of girls who will accede, but I do not think I have given anyone the impression I will accede such a request. And I'm still trying to figure out why I seem to be attracting all the wrong crowd lately.
Hi there, sori if I sound crude asking you if I can have this and that. I felt that it is better to be upfront in asking to be fair to the girls as I dont intend to get married so thought better be honest asking for it. So when you responded in this way, I felt sad that you take it this way. I just want to be honest and not take advantage of you or other girls.
Some other girls will say yes to this ya. Well hope I dont sound stupid in asking for such things lor. Sori ....
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