I had a discussion with a friend today who says once her husband's business stabilises, she will stop work. Her opinion is that women marry with the idea of not working and enjoying life. She said a lot of our friends are like that, and she believes I am like that too. I as much as told her if and when I ever marry, I will not work full-time as I want to dedicate the time to taking care of the family. But I will not totally not work.
But of course, which woman does not want to be a socialite or lady of leisure? However, "all that glistens is not gold, often have you heard that told", so said to the Prince of Morocco in "The Merchant Of Venice". Some good things are only good on the surface. Living a life of luxury is only but fleeting. How long can the lifestyle of shopping, spa, playing mahjong and entertaining last?
To me, it can probably last a few months at the most. I will go crazy after that because I will be in need of something really meaningful to do, as living a life of luxury will become empty after a while.
And marrying into a rich family is not necessarily that good or lucky a thing. I have friends who marry very wealthy guys, and not all of them are happy. Some are subjected to their in-laws' orders. A friend who married into an established family has to move in with her in-laws, asked to stop work (a job she really loved) even though she was still under bond, and her father-in-law gladly paid off the rest of her bond for her.
She was under pressure to produce a child, and when she finally conceived, under pressure to ensure the baby was a boy (luckily it is a boy), have to go according to her mother-in-law's ways on how to raise the kid, cannot go anywhere without her in-laws' permission (even if it is a night out with her husband or visiting her parents), and whenever there are guests, she has to entertain them, even though all they do are mindless chatter.
She says she chose her husband so have to subject herself to how her in-laws treat her, and according to her, they do not treat her that badly although they may be set in their ways. Well... as long as she is alright with her life. She is resigned to her fate, but yearns to be like the rest of us who can choose how we lead our lives.
So marrying into a rich family is not necessarily such a glamorous thing. The rich and famous have a certain lifestyle, so anyone who becomes part of the family has to adapt to the lifestyle. My friend said where in the past she could behave anyway she liked, now she has to constantly stand on her toes and make sure she is behaving correctly, and she remembers all the protocol, etc, as any blunder on her part means shame to the whole family.
If it is me, I will choose my freedom over a luxurious life. I want to have the freedom to do what I like even after I am married. I want to be able to just spend time with my husband alone, or dump the kids at my mum's or in-laws' place then go on a holiday with my husband. I want to be able to visit my parents anytime I like, or go out with my friends. And of course, if I decide to still work full-time, I want to be able to continue working without anyone saying anything.
Some people will say it is mad to give up a rich lifestyle to live an average lifestyle. There are people who only want to marry rich guys, the richer the better. But does the money make you happy if the marriage does not? For both people to get married, there must be love and a future of happiness together. How rich the person is should only be a bonus and not a requirement.
If my second ex and I had gotten married, I could have been a lady of leisure. Big allowance, free travel to wherever I like every year, discounted travel to any destination the rest of the year, nice gifts from overseas like authentic Prada wallet from Milan, jewellery from Tiffany & Co in New York, opal necklace from New Zealand, etc. And I do not even need to work to have all these! Who does not like this type of life? I will be lying if I say I do not like it.
But the insecurity will always be building up. To think of one's husband flying all over and away from home so frequently, plus his colleagues are mostly those young gorgeous sexy stewardesses (some whom once they get their claws on a guy will never let go), and you have no idea what exactly he is doing behind your back. The incessant worry will probably make me lose my sanity even sooner. I rather give up all the luxury and lead a more secure life.
So perhaps in comparison, living a simple and average life is better than a rich and luxurious one. At least one can lead the lives they like without being subjected to anybody's scrutiny. I do not need all the riches in the world to have a happy family life; likewise all the riches in the world do not necessarily make a happy family life.
But of course, which woman does not want to be a socialite or lady of leisure? However, "all that glistens is not gold, often have you heard that told", so said to the Prince of Morocco in "The Merchant Of Venice". Some good things are only good on the surface. Living a life of luxury is only but fleeting. How long can the lifestyle of shopping, spa, playing mahjong and entertaining last?
To me, it can probably last a few months at the most. I will go crazy after that because I will be in need of something really meaningful to do, as living a life of luxury will become empty after a while.
And marrying into a rich family is not necessarily that good or lucky a thing. I have friends who marry very wealthy guys, and not all of them are happy. Some are subjected to their in-laws' orders. A friend who married into an established family has to move in with her in-laws, asked to stop work (a job she really loved) even though she was still under bond, and her father-in-law gladly paid off the rest of her bond for her.
She was under pressure to produce a child, and when she finally conceived, under pressure to ensure the baby was a boy (luckily it is a boy), have to go according to her mother-in-law's ways on how to raise the kid, cannot go anywhere without her in-laws' permission (even if it is a night out with her husband or visiting her parents), and whenever there are guests, she has to entertain them, even though all they do are mindless chatter.
She says she chose her husband so have to subject herself to how her in-laws treat her, and according to her, they do not treat her that badly although they may be set in their ways. Well... as long as she is alright with her life. She is resigned to her fate, but yearns to be like the rest of us who can choose how we lead our lives.
So marrying into a rich family is not necessarily such a glamorous thing. The rich and famous have a certain lifestyle, so anyone who becomes part of the family has to adapt to the lifestyle. My friend said where in the past she could behave anyway she liked, now she has to constantly stand on her toes and make sure she is behaving correctly, and she remembers all the protocol, etc, as any blunder on her part means shame to the whole family.
If it is me, I will choose my freedom over a luxurious life. I want to have the freedom to do what I like even after I am married. I want to be able to just spend time with my husband alone, or dump the kids at my mum's or in-laws' place then go on a holiday with my husband. I want to be able to visit my parents anytime I like, or go out with my friends. And of course, if I decide to still work full-time, I want to be able to continue working without anyone saying anything.
Some people will say it is mad to give up a rich lifestyle to live an average lifestyle. There are people who only want to marry rich guys, the richer the better. But does the money make you happy if the marriage does not? For both people to get married, there must be love and a future of happiness together. How rich the person is should only be a bonus and not a requirement.
If my second ex and I had gotten married, I could have been a lady of leisure. Big allowance, free travel to wherever I like every year, discounted travel to any destination the rest of the year, nice gifts from overseas like authentic Prada wallet from Milan, jewellery from Tiffany & Co in New York, opal necklace from New Zealand, etc. And I do not even need to work to have all these! Who does not like this type of life? I will be lying if I say I do not like it.
But the insecurity will always be building up. To think of one's husband flying all over and away from home so frequently, plus his colleagues are mostly those young gorgeous sexy stewardesses (some whom once they get their claws on a guy will never let go), and you have no idea what exactly he is doing behind your back. The incessant worry will probably make me lose my sanity even sooner. I rather give up all the luxury and lead a more secure life.
So perhaps in comparison, living a simple and average life is better than a rich and luxurious one. At least one can lead the lives they like without being subjected to anybody's scrutiny. I do not need all the riches in the world to have a happy family life; likewise all the riches in the world do not necessarily make a happy family life.
2 comments:
Wealth is only really useful to the person with the most control of it.
Marrying into a rich family does not automatically mean you control even part of their wealth.
Precisely! Unfortunately, not many people realise that.
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