A lot of girls and guys I know frown in disapproval whenever they see a guy carrying his girlfriend’s handbag, as in the small classy-looking ladies’ handbag which can probably only fit in her wallet, phone and lipstick, nothing else. Guys will say that is so unmanly, girls will say that the guy is such a wimp.
Actually I think guys who volunteer to carry their girlfriend’s handbags are rather gentlemanly and sweet. Notice I said volunteer, not being coerced by the girl to carry her bag for her. But of course, I know the controversy which will come about if the guy carries a girl’s small handbag for her.
At least in this case, chivalry is not totally dead. The guy is sweet and nice enough to offload the girl’s burden, so to speak, and if I get such a guy, I will hold on and never let go. But on the other hand, I am quite capable of carrying my own small bag, so I would prefer to carry it myself if it is just a small one without burdening the guy with it.
But does that mean the guy should not be chivalrous if the general public cannot stand the sight of a guy carrying a girl’s bag? Actually it all depends. If it is just a small handbag, of course the girl should carry it. She has both hands with her, and it is just a little thing, so why bother the boyfriend? No doubt the boyfriend can be gentlemanly enough to ask, but if it is only a small bag, the girl can just carry it on her own.
But of course, if the girl is carrying several big bags with her, be it her work assignments or grocery shopping or normal shopping, then the guy should help to carry a little, instead of just walking on and leaving the girl to carry everything by herself.
I am not being sexist here, but from experience, those bags can really be very heavy, and I would appreciate some help especially if I am carrying a lot of things with just two hands. Luckily two of my guys are gentlemanly enough to just help me carry without me even asking.
But what is the big fuss anyway even if a guy chooses to carry his girlfriend’s handbag for her? Maybe the guy is just being a SNAG, and most girls will want to snag a SNAG, especially a metrosexual and ubersexual one. However if guys carry a girl’s backpack or haversack for her, no one will say a thing. Why is the fuss only when the guy carries the handbag?
I can understand why guys will not approve of the sight, because they may think it is a disgrace to all mankind, but why would the females disapprove? Do they not like someone who can be nice enough to volunteer to carry their things for them? Or are they just green with envy that other girls manage to get guys that do not feel ashamed carrying their bags in public?
Or perhaps being brought up in the typical Singaporean society where guys are not taught to be gentlemanly and girls are taught to be equal with guys, this sight may disgust a lot of people. But is there anything wrong with a guy wanting to show how much he loves his girlfriend by just a simple act of carrying her handbag for her? Should he be judged as being a loser or a wimp or a disgrace?
It is rare to find local guys who are gentlemanly and chivalrous. I see that in a lot of guys from other countries, yet comparatively, local guys do not bother being a gentleman or being respectful to others. For example, a local guy will not bother holding the door open if he knows I am just behind him and about to go through the door. I hate it when doors slam in my face just because that guy in front of me closed it behind him when he knew I was about to enter as well.
But that aside, give that poor nice guy a break. If that is how he shows his love for his girlfriend by carrying her handbag for her, let him be. We are not ones to judge how people show their loves nor comment on the sweet things people do to show their affections.
Actually I think guys who volunteer to carry their girlfriend’s handbags are rather gentlemanly and sweet. Notice I said volunteer, not being coerced by the girl to carry her bag for her. But of course, I know the controversy which will come about if the guy carries a girl’s small handbag for her.
At least in this case, chivalry is not totally dead. The guy is sweet and nice enough to offload the girl’s burden, so to speak, and if I get such a guy, I will hold on and never let go. But on the other hand, I am quite capable of carrying my own small bag, so I would prefer to carry it myself if it is just a small one without burdening the guy with it.
But does that mean the guy should not be chivalrous if the general public cannot stand the sight of a guy carrying a girl’s bag? Actually it all depends. If it is just a small handbag, of course the girl should carry it. She has both hands with her, and it is just a little thing, so why bother the boyfriend? No doubt the boyfriend can be gentlemanly enough to ask, but if it is only a small bag, the girl can just carry it on her own.
But of course, if the girl is carrying several big bags with her, be it her work assignments or grocery shopping or normal shopping, then the guy should help to carry a little, instead of just walking on and leaving the girl to carry everything by herself.
I am not being sexist here, but from experience, those bags can really be very heavy, and I would appreciate some help especially if I am carrying a lot of things with just two hands. Luckily two of my guys are gentlemanly enough to just help me carry without me even asking.
But what is the big fuss anyway even if a guy chooses to carry his girlfriend’s handbag for her? Maybe the guy is just being a SNAG, and most girls will want to snag a SNAG, especially a metrosexual and ubersexual one. However if guys carry a girl’s backpack or haversack for her, no one will say a thing. Why is the fuss only when the guy carries the handbag?
I can understand why guys will not approve of the sight, because they may think it is a disgrace to all mankind, but why would the females disapprove? Do they not like someone who can be nice enough to volunteer to carry their things for them? Or are they just green with envy that other girls manage to get guys that do not feel ashamed carrying their bags in public?
Or perhaps being brought up in the typical Singaporean society where guys are not taught to be gentlemanly and girls are taught to be equal with guys, this sight may disgust a lot of people. But is there anything wrong with a guy wanting to show how much he loves his girlfriend by just a simple act of carrying her handbag for her? Should he be judged as being a loser or a wimp or a disgrace?
It is rare to find local guys who are gentlemanly and chivalrous. I see that in a lot of guys from other countries, yet comparatively, local guys do not bother being a gentleman or being respectful to others. For example, a local guy will not bother holding the door open if he knows I am just behind him and about to go through the door. I hate it when doors slam in my face just because that guy in front of me closed it behind him when he knew I was about to enter as well.
But that aside, give that poor nice guy a break. If that is how he shows his love for his girlfriend by carrying her handbag for her, let him be. We are not ones to judge how people show their loves nor comment on the sweet things people do to show their affections.
6 comments:
I do hold my wife's handbag + the diaper bag whilst she carry the baby :P no problem for me :P
I would rather carry those than carry a baby :P
That aside... what is this "ubersexual" thingy? I thought the word "uber" is only used by us computer game geeks to describe super rare and powerful in-game items or skill of a player.
At least in this case, chivalry is not totally dead. The guy is sweet and nice enough to offload the girl’s burden, so to speak, and if I get such a guy, I will hold on and never let go.
Huh? We're talking about carrying a handbag, aren't we? Which is what you wrote as "the small classy-looking ladies’ handbag which can probably only fit in her wallet, phone and lipstick, nothing else."
What "burden" was it to be lessened anyway? *roll eyes*
Of coz if like what Gus said, if besides a handbag, there are other things to be carried & if that handbag--regardless it's small size & lightweight--proves a hindrance, then the guy should offer to help...to carry whichever stuff heavier.
The bottomline? "A handbag + A guy carrying it + His gf's hands swinging free" has got nothing to do with the guy being "gentlemanly and chivalrous".
can't speak for the general public. can only speak for my girlfriends and i here...
we don't want our men to carry our pretty Chanel purses. men just don't look cool carrying that. but if it's my giant tote, sure. the man will demand to carry it for me too,along with the groceries and all. perfect when we travel coz he insists to be the one with the backpack and shopping and leave me with my hands free. heh.
thank goodness the guys around me are chivalrous. that prob explains why we all hang out together.
Gus : Wa... how come guys like you all get snapped up so fast? :-p Anyway your wife is carrying the baby, so she probably has no hands to carry anything else, thus it is only natural that you help her carry everything else.
Ole Wolvie : Ubersexual guys, according to this definition in Word Spy, means "a heterosexual man who is masculine, confident, compassionate and stylish." In other words, a SNAG, metrosexual and he-man combined in one. Apparently this is the era to exit the metrosexual guy, enter the ubersexual guy!
Anon_X : Erh... I meant the burden off her hands, as in the guy carries the small bag and the girl does not carry anything.
Imp : My point exactly. Sometimes it really takes a female to fully understand the train of thought of another female.
In other word - Superman.
Gah, no wonder us guys aren't getting hitched. The gals got their mind set on Mr. Clark Kent...
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