I brought my first brother out to watch “Fearless” and “I Not Stupid 2” earlier on. Jet Li still looked the same ever since his “Wong Fei Hung” days. “Fearless” is quite a good show with a meaningful message, and it can be said to be one of Jet Li’s better shows ever since “One Upon A Time In China”.
“I Not Stupid 2” is better than the first one, probably as I can relate more to it. The show focuses on teenage rebellion, typical Singaporean parents who concentrate only on making money and neglect the children, issue of discipline in schools, and how good traits are often overlooked due to mistakes and bad points.
The show started off with the little boy narrating, “When was the last time you praised someone?” Very meaningful message. True, how often have we really praised anyone for anything? Often than not, it is just in our nature to focus on the bad things instead.
The main characters of the show are three kids, Tom and his brother Jerry, and Tom’s friend CC. Tom and CC are both Normal stream students in a secondary school, and their teacher often scolded them for being useless and lazy.
Jerry is a normal inquisitive primary school kid, but he is often misguided as his parents have no time to entertain his questions. Thus he relies on his friends who often gave him the wrong information as they are just as ignorant as he is.
Tom and Jerry’s parents only nag, scold and cane, without fully getting into the full picture. Tom got an award for being the most prolific blogger (is there really such an award?), but all his mother said was why could he not use the time to focus on his studies instead?
When his father’s laptop spoilt, Tom actually fixed it for him, only to get scolded for fiddling around with the laptop. Jerry got a lead role in a school play and his teacher asked him to ask his parents to attend, but his parents would only tell him why could he not spend the time on his school work?
Tom got caught with a porn VCD in his possession and was sentenced to public caning. He wrote in his blog that he was as good as dead, and could not cared for anything that happened anymore. Thus he joined CC and hung out with a triad.
CC’s father was an ex-convict, and although he loves his son a lot, does not know how to show it. CC thought his father only knew how to beat him up, thus created lots of problems for his teacher.
When his teacher wanted to punish Tom for having the porn VCD, CC wanted to help Tom, only to get whacked on the head by the teacher. So he fought back in defense and was expelled from school as a result, which was why he decided to join the triad.
The teacher was snapped on some students’ camera phones for whacking CC on the head, and resigned due to pressure. But when his principal disallowed his resignation, he reflected and decided to change his method of teaching. Thus he started to focus more on the good points rather than the bad.
For instance, a student improved by two marks and instead of his usual reprimand, praised her and encouraged her to do better by improving by five marks the next time round.
When Jerry realised that his father charged S$500.00 just for a one-hour presentation, he decided to buy his father’s time. So he stole some money from the canteen vendor. His parents thought he stole the money to buy “Pokemon” cards, but he told them that he sold off all his cards and took the money just to have enough to buy an hour of his father’s time. That was when his parents realised that they have not been good and effective enough in disciplining and guiding their children.
Tom and CC were made use of by the triad to shoplift and got into a series of trouble. Tom realised just how much his father cared for him when after he and CC were beaten up for robbing an old lady, his father pleaded with the old lady not to press charges against Tom and to arrest him instead for not being a good parent.
CC’s father saw him getting beaten up and went to defend his son, only to get pushed down and hit his head as a result. He was rushed to the hospital, and CC got scolded by his father’s friend for not reciprocating his father’s love.
When CC got expelled, his father went to every school begging for a place for him. When his bag was torn, his father immediately bought a new one for him. CC realised how much his father really loved him when he saw his father was willing to die for him.
In the end, all were well again. Children learnt that their parents actually cared for them a lot, except they did not know how to show, and parents learnt that their children yearn for their praise and acceptance more than anything else.
This show relates a lot to me as my parents were like this too. Nothing I did was ever good enough for them, and they focused on the bad things instead of the good. When I did not do well for my examinations, they screamed at me for being useless and a good-for-nothing, even though I have improved by over ten marks.
When my late teacher registered me for the various music competitions, my mum said, “I do not understand why your teacher believes in you so much, You think you are really that good? If you spend as much time on your studies than playing music, you will already be the top student tenfold.”
When my teacher asked me to apply for a music scholarship, my mum said, “You think you qualify for this?” and refused to give her consent. When I wanted to take part in my school’s track and field events, she said, “You think you are so good in sports? You are nothing but a clumsy oaf.”
The years between fifteen and eighteen, I remember wanting to run away from home, commit suicide, play dead, anything to get my parents to show concern for me. I really ran away from home once in the middle of the night the year I was seventeen, as far as the bus stop outside my lane, only to be found back by my parents. Instead of showing worry, all I got was a caning for being a slut by running around outside in the middle of the night.
I had on and off cold wars with my mum for a couple of years. The reason I depended on my first ex so much was due to this cold war with my mum. I thought at least there was someone who could show some concern for me, and no matter how he treated me, I thought it was still better than my mum.
There was once when my first ex’s family brought me out for dinner, and they drove me back rather late at night. My mum threatened to call the police and accuse them of kidnapping me. She called me a shameless slut for running around with a guy until so late in the night.
I really lost it then and hit out at her. I regretted bitterly what I did, but at that point in time, I could not tolerate all her hurtful remarks anymore. She was shocked that I actually hit her, and shouted for my father.
I lashed out at her and as much as told her how I felt. I said all she cared about was her career. Had she really spared a thought to my feelings and what I wanted? All she cared about was making money, but since she had so much money yet she never gave me a cent more than what I was getting.
When I had to resort to borrowing sometimes from my friends, and my grandma would give me money as and when, she scolded me for being shameless to even beg people for charity.
I as much as told her that everything I did was wrong in her eyes, no matter how hard I tried, she was never satisfied. She never wanted to hear about anything unless it was about me topping the school. Yet my brothers could get away with anything, even if they got hurt by their own faults, somehow I was still the one being punished.
Even when I won an award in upper secondary for topping the level in Literature, she said it was no big deal since it was not as if I topped the school. But that was a big deal to me as I have never ever won an academic award before.
I never told them anything, even now I find it so reluctant to really talk to them on certain issues as they still think I am a good-for-nothing in their eyes. But at least now they leave me alone to do my own things, which suits me just fine. Sometimes I think my friends understand me more than my own parents. I think even those who read my blog will know me more than my own parents.
When I hear my brothers complaining how my mum treated them, I always told them how she treated them was minuscule compared to how she treated me. They did not have hot curry poured over their head in lower secondary just because they did not do well in their examinations, nor did they got threatened to be sent to a juvenile home if they did not pull up their socks in their studies.
I have gone through all these times, bore the brunt of insults my parents lashed out at me which my brothers never even had a fraction. Thus I can relate to the characters in the show on how they felt their parents never cared about their feelings and sought company in others instead.
Just like the Tom's character in the show, he blogged out all his unhappiness, and his parents stumbled upon his blog to realise just how much he hated them, my diaries contained all my feelings towards my parents too. I wrote about how I wish I was dead since I was as good as dead in their eyes. The only difference was that each time my mum saw me writing in my diary, she would tell me to use the time to study.
This show makes me even more determined to be a stay-home mum to my kids next time. I do not want to be like the mother character, who only cares about her work and totally have no time for her children. I want to be there for my children and guide them on the right path. At least the show taught me a little on how to be a good and effective parent in the future.
“I Not Stupid 2” is better than the first one, probably as I can relate more to it. The show focuses on teenage rebellion, typical Singaporean parents who concentrate only on making money and neglect the children, issue of discipline in schools, and how good traits are often overlooked due to mistakes and bad points.
The show started off with the little boy narrating, “When was the last time you praised someone?” Very meaningful message. True, how often have we really praised anyone for anything? Often than not, it is just in our nature to focus on the bad things instead.
The main characters of the show are three kids, Tom and his brother Jerry, and Tom’s friend CC. Tom and CC are both Normal stream students in a secondary school, and their teacher often scolded them for being useless and lazy.
Jerry is a normal inquisitive primary school kid, but he is often misguided as his parents have no time to entertain his questions. Thus he relies on his friends who often gave him the wrong information as they are just as ignorant as he is.
Tom and Jerry’s parents only nag, scold and cane, without fully getting into the full picture. Tom got an award for being the most prolific blogger (is there really such an award?), but all his mother said was why could he not use the time to focus on his studies instead?
When his father’s laptop spoilt, Tom actually fixed it for him, only to get scolded for fiddling around with the laptop. Jerry got a lead role in a school play and his teacher asked him to ask his parents to attend, but his parents would only tell him why could he not spend the time on his school work?
Tom got caught with a porn VCD in his possession and was sentenced to public caning. He wrote in his blog that he was as good as dead, and could not cared for anything that happened anymore. Thus he joined CC and hung out with a triad.
CC’s father was an ex-convict, and although he loves his son a lot, does not know how to show it. CC thought his father only knew how to beat him up, thus created lots of problems for his teacher.
When his teacher wanted to punish Tom for having the porn VCD, CC wanted to help Tom, only to get whacked on the head by the teacher. So he fought back in defense and was expelled from school as a result, which was why he decided to join the triad.
The teacher was snapped on some students’ camera phones for whacking CC on the head, and resigned due to pressure. But when his principal disallowed his resignation, he reflected and decided to change his method of teaching. Thus he started to focus more on the good points rather than the bad.
For instance, a student improved by two marks and instead of his usual reprimand, praised her and encouraged her to do better by improving by five marks the next time round.
When Jerry realised that his father charged S$500.00 just for a one-hour presentation, he decided to buy his father’s time. So he stole some money from the canteen vendor. His parents thought he stole the money to buy “Pokemon” cards, but he told them that he sold off all his cards and took the money just to have enough to buy an hour of his father’s time. That was when his parents realised that they have not been good and effective enough in disciplining and guiding their children.
Tom and CC were made use of by the triad to shoplift and got into a series of trouble. Tom realised just how much his father cared for him when after he and CC were beaten up for robbing an old lady, his father pleaded with the old lady not to press charges against Tom and to arrest him instead for not being a good parent.
CC’s father saw him getting beaten up and went to defend his son, only to get pushed down and hit his head as a result. He was rushed to the hospital, and CC got scolded by his father’s friend for not reciprocating his father’s love.
When CC got expelled, his father went to every school begging for a place for him. When his bag was torn, his father immediately bought a new one for him. CC realised how much his father really loved him when he saw his father was willing to die for him.
In the end, all were well again. Children learnt that their parents actually cared for them a lot, except they did not know how to show, and parents learnt that their children yearn for their praise and acceptance more than anything else.
This show relates a lot to me as my parents were like this too. Nothing I did was ever good enough for them, and they focused on the bad things instead of the good. When I did not do well for my examinations, they screamed at me for being useless and a good-for-nothing, even though I have improved by over ten marks.
When my late teacher registered me for the various music competitions, my mum said, “I do not understand why your teacher believes in you so much, You think you are really that good? If you spend as much time on your studies than playing music, you will already be the top student tenfold.”
When my teacher asked me to apply for a music scholarship, my mum said, “You think you qualify for this?” and refused to give her consent. When I wanted to take part in my school’s track and field events, she said, “You think you are so good in sports? You are nothing but a clumsy oaf.”
The years between fifteen and eighteen, I remember wanting to run away from home, commit suicide, play dead, anything to get my parents to show concern for me. I really ran away from home once in the middle of the night the year I was seventeen, as far as the bus stop outside my lane, only to be found back by my parents. Instead of showing worry, all I got was a caning for being a slut by running around outside in the middle of the night.
I had on and off cold wars with my mum for a couple of years. The reason I depended on my first ex so much was due to this cold war with my mum. I thought at least there was someone who could show some concern for me, and no matter how he treated me, I thought it was still better than my mum.
There was once when my first ex’s family brought me out for dinner, and they drove me back rather late at night. My mum threatened to call the police and accuse them of kidnapping me. She called me a shameless slut for running around with a guy until so late in the night.
I really lost it then and hit out at her. I regretted bitterly what I did, but at that point in time, I could not tolerate all her hurtful remarks anymore. She was shocked that I actually hit her, and shouted for my father.
I lashed out at her and as much as told her how I felt. I said all she cared about was her career. Had she really spared a thought to my feelings and what I wanted? All she cared about was making money, but since she had so much money yet she never gave me a cent more than what I was getting.
When I had to resort to borrowing sometimes from my friends, and my grandma would give me money as and when, she scolded me for being shameless to even beg people for charity.
I as much as told her that everything I did was wrong in her eyes, no matter how hard I tried, she was never satisfied. She never wanted to hear about anything unless it was about me topping the school. Yet my brothers could get away with anything, even if they got hurt by their own faults, somehow I was still the one being punished.
Even when I won an award in upper secondary for topping the level in Literature, she said it was no big deal since it was not as if I topped the school. But that was a big deal to me as I have never ever won an academic award before.
I never told them anything, even now I find it so reluctant to really talk to them on certain issues as they still think I am a good-for-nothing in their eyes. But at least now they leave me alone to do my own things, which suits me just fine. Sometimes I think my friends understand me more than my own parents. I think even those who read my blog will know me more than my own parents.
When I hear my brothers complaining how my mum treated them, I always told them how she treated them was minuscule compared to how she treated me. They did not have hot curry poured over their head in lower secondary just because they did not do well in their examinations, nor did they got threatened to be sent to a juvenile home if they did not pull up their socks in their studies.
I have gone through all these times, bore the brunt of insults my parents lashed out at me which my brothers never even had a fraction. Thus I can relate to the characters in the show on how they felt their parents never cared about their feelings and sought company in others instead.
Just like the Tom's character in the show, he blogged out all his unhappiness, and his parents stumbled upon his blog to realise just how much he hated them, my diaries contained all my feelings towards my parents too. I wrote about how I wish I was dead since I was as good as dead in their eyes. The only difference was that each time my mum saw me writing in my diary, she would tell me to use the time to study.
This show makes me even more determined to be a stay-home mum to my kids next time. I do not want to be like the mother character, who only cares about her work and totally have no time for her children. I want to be there for my children and guide them on the right path. At least the show taught me a little on how to be a good and effective parent in the future.
2 comments:
I was already away from home since secndary school. And you know what? That was what helped me be what I am today. I really can't stand my mom's nagging. And she's always at home, there was no escaping it before I came here.
It is better now though, she's mellowed out a bit. Just a bit...
Being a stay at house mom does not guarantee that one will be a "good mother".
Be careful of "overcompensation". From what I see, you are quite prone to it.
I know what you mean. It's a good thing my mum works but I still bore the brunt of everything everytime she's home. Which is why I want to stay away from home so much.
My mum has mellowed a lot though, so not too bad now. At least things are more bearable even if we see each other day in day out.
I know staying home for kids may not necessary make someone a good parent, but on the other hand, I don't wish to be those type of parents who spend all their time working and no time for their children. I've seen that too often when I was teaching, and I really pity those kids.
Whatever I do in the future, I guess I just have to watch myself and try to remember what not to do, so as to prevent "overcompensation" or "overcriticising".
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