I seriously need some time off to sort out certain things. Maybe I should just join Angie in Yogyakarta. At least helping others can take my mind off my own issues. Besides I have to start learning how to take care and be responsible for others.
Actually I did contemplate taking a few days off and helping out those poor victims, like what I did for the tsunami victims. In the end I was not able to take time off to go to the tsunami areas, and now ......
Firstly I was not able to take leave. Secondly, I just found out about some things which are even more pressing. Plus with my mental state right now, I do not think I can be that good a caregiver as I probably need someone to take care of me as well.
But sometimes a crisis changes a person. Especially when you find out that some things do not involve you alone. When you find out you have to face the consequences of certain things you did, and that you have to be responsible not just for yourself but some others as well.
Like for the last couple of days, I was not able to focus on anything. I was too cooped up with trying to figure out what to do. Yet due to this, I have finally adjusted my lifestyle, made some changes which I never thought I will.
For instance, I have started eating three healthy meals. I am actually becoming conscious of what I take in, instead of just wiping everything off my plate. And I have given up chocolate. I have not touched a single bar for three days without any craving whatsoever, and that to me is an achievement.
I believe people will be shocked, as it takes something really big to make me give up chocolate. But like I said, people can change, especially when you find that the world does not revolve around you anymore.
When you realise that there are many more people suffering in the world, it makes one guilty of indulging in luxury. It makes you reflect your values, your beliefs, your principles. It makes you seriously think of what is right and what is wrong.
But I guess there will be a stage where everyone grows up. Sometimes it takes something really serious for someone to finally grow up, sit back, and realise that he / she is no longer the focus, and has to start learning how to be responsible to others instead of being so self-centred and frivolous all the time.
Actually I did contemplate taking a few days off and helping out those poor victims, like what I did for the tsunami victims. In the end I was not able to take time off to go to the tsunami areas, and now ......
Firstly I was not able to take leave. Secondly, I just found out about some things which are even more pressing. Plus with my mental state right now, I do not think I can be that good a caregiver as I probably need someone to take care of me as well.
But sometimes a crisis changes a person. Especially when you find out that some things do not involve you alone. When you find out you have to face the consequences of certain things you did, and that you have to be responsible not just for yourself but some others as well.
Like for the last couple of days, I was not able to focus on anything. I was too cooped up with trying to figure out what to do. Yet due to this, I have finally adjusted my lifestyle, made some changes which I never thought I will.
For instance, I have started eating three healthy meals. I am actually becoming conscious of what I take in, instead of just wiping everything off my plate. And I have given up chocolate. I have not touched a single bar for three days without any craving whatsoever, and that to me is an achievement.
I believe people will be shocked, as it takes something really big to make me give up chocolate. But like I said, people can change, especially when you find that the world does not revolve around you anymore.
When you realise that there are many more people suffering in the world, it makes one guilty of indulging in luxury. It makes you reflect your values, your beliefs, your principles. It makes you seriously think of what is right and what is wrong.
But I guess there will be a stage where everyone grows up. Sometimes it takes something really serious for someone to finally grow up, sit back, and realise that he / she is no longer the focus, and has to start learning how to be responsible to others instead of being so self-centred and frivolous all the time.
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