Remarkable coincidences happen. Even to people totally unrelated. Lately I know of a girl with relationship problems. A familiar sensation hit me, when I realize that her problem is very similar to another girl whom I knew four years back.
An even more amazing coincidence is that both girls are of the same age, have their birthdays in the same month, under the same star sign, and both the boyfriends are of another religion. It is as if they are situational twins or something.
The lady I met four years back goes by the name A. Coincidentally (yet again!), her boyfriend (then, not sure if they are still together now since it has been a few years) also goes by the name A.
Anyway Girl A was going out to work after her studies. She landed a glamourous job, those types of job which may be many people’s dream jobs. Needless to say, she met a few new guys, and one guy in particular, S, took a liking to her.
Guy A was unhappy about the time she spent with her new colleagues, so they had a big quarrel and went on a break. Girl A then went on a trip with S and a few other colleagues. Since most of them were couples, A and S had to share a room together.
According to Girl A, S took the opportunity of expressing his feelings for her, and that night they became very intimate. But she regretted it the next day as she was still messed up over Guy A.
When the group returned, Girl A realized that Guy A had been calling her up when she was away. He was sincerely apologetic and wanted to get back with her. It dawned on her that they still stood a chance, so dropped S, even though S seemed a more suitable person for her according to people who know them.
The girl I met recently (D) also had the same problem. She just brought it to a closure, and was relieved about it as she had been bouncing between two guys for the past few weeks.
Her boyfriend (H) took her for granted and they went on a break for two months. During the “break”, she started developing feelings for her close friend, who also goes by the name S (S2), who, at the same time, also developed genuine feelings for her.
They were almost going to start something when H called D and urged for her forgiveness. So she went back to him, and he had been trying to make amends and do more for her for the relationship to work out this time.
However, D, S2 and a few other friends went on vacation, and it was the same case – the two of them shared a room as the rest had their own partners. They also spent a memorable night together, but on the way back, both knew it would end the moment they touched down.
In this case, S2 was not willing to give up without a fight. So he told D to give him a month, and prove that he could be better than H. But even before the month was up, D said she had made her decision to stick with H. So it was over before it even began.
To some, they may feel that if S2 really loves D as he claims, he should not even give her a time limit. He should leave her alone to come to her own decision, instead of giving her unnecessary pressure and forcing her to choose.
And after she had made her choice, he should just respect it and accept, without calling her up and whining about how much he loves her and why not give him a chance. Needless to say, he put her in such a difficult position that in the end, she became totally unresponsive and cold towards him.
S2 says that love is selfish. But love should not be selfish. If S2 really loves D, he should let her go to whom her heart desires, even if it breaks him inside. He should not have kept insisting on his way and emphasizing that she would be happier with him. How would he or anyone know who she would be happy with?
Not that I do not pity him though. It sucks to think that you love someone who loves you back, but yet cannot be together because that someone you love still loves the other person more. It is a worse feeling than unrequited love, because at least you know the person never had feelings for you and it would have been impossible in the first place.
But I salute the two girls. They chose to remain faithful to the one they are with even if someone better comes along. I can relate to that to a certain extent because I believe I would have done the same.
I cannot speak for all girls, but to me, a girl will not leave the guy if she still loves him. She will stick with the guy, even if she can be so frustrated with him. A girl will only leave when her feelings for the guy have totally died, and she no longer looks forward to meeting up with him and start cowering at his very touch.
An even more amazing coincidence is that both girls are of the same age, have their birthdays in the same month, under the same star sign, and both the boyfriends are of another religion. It is as if they are situational twins or something.
The lady I met four years back goes by the name A. Coincidentally (yet again!), her boyfriend (then, not sure if they are still together now since it has been a few years) also goes by the name A.
Anyway Girl A was going out to work after her studies. She landed a glamourous job, those types of job which may be many people’s dream jobs. Needless to say, she met a few new guys, and one guy in particular, S, took a liking to her.
Guy A was unhappy about the time she spent with her new colleagues, so they had a big quarrel and went on a break. Girl A then went on a trip with S and a few other colleagues. Since most of them were couples, A and S had to share a room together.
According to Girl A, S took the opportunity of expressing his feelings for her, and that night they became very intimate. But she regretted it the next day as she was still messed up over Guy A.
When the group returned, Girl A realized that Guy A had been calling her up when she was away. He was sincerely apologetic and wanted to get back with her. It dawned on her that they still stood a chance, so dropped S, even though S seemed a more suitable person for her according to people who know them.
The girl I met recently (D) also had the same problem. She just brought it to a closure, and was relieved about it as she had been bouncing between two guys for the past few weeks.
Her boyfriend (H) took her for granted and they went on a break for two months. During the “break”, she started developing feelings for her close friend, who also goes by the name S (S2), who, at the same time, also developed genuine feelings for her.
They were almost going to start something when H called D and urged for her forgiveness. So she went back to him, and he had been trying to make amends and do more for her for the relationship to work out this time.
However, D, S2 and a few other friends went on vacation, and it was the same case – the two of them shared a room as the rest had their own partners. They also spent a memorable night together, but on the way back, both knew it would end the moment they touched down.
In this case, S2 was not willing to give up without a fight. So he told D to give him a month, and prove that he could be better than H. But even before the month was up, D said she had made her decision to stick with H. So it was over before it even began.
To some, they may feel that if S2 really loves D as he claims, he should not even give her a time limit. He should leave her alone to come to her own decision, instead of giving her unnecessary pressure and forcing her to choose.
And after she had made her choice, he should just respect it and accept, without calling her up and whining about how much he loves her and why not give him a chance. Needless to say, he put her in such a difficult position that in the end, she became totally unresponsive and cold towards him.
S2 says that love is selfish. But love should not be selfish. If S2 really loves D, he should let her go to whom her heart desires, even if it breaks him inside. He should not have kept insisting on his way and emphasizing that she would be happier with him. How would he or anyone know who she would be happy with?
Not that I do not pity him though. It sucks to think that you love someone who loves you back, but yet cannot be together because that someone you love still loves the other person more. It is a worse feeling than unrequited love, because at least you know the person never had feelings for you and it would have been impossible in the first place.
But I salute the two girls. They chose to remain faithful to the one they are with even if someone better comes along. I can relate to that to a certain extent because I believe I would have done the same.
I cannot speak for all girls, but to me, a girl will not leave the guy if she still loves him. She will stick with the guy, even if she can be so frustrated with him. A girl will only leave when her feelings for the guy have totally died, and she no longer looks forward to meeting up with him and start cowering at his very touch.
4 comments:
i left an ex for someone else who loved me more. as much as i loved that ex, i was disappointed, and very ready to move on.
I admire you to have the courage to move on for someone else. A lot of girls I know won't.
I had an experience similar to yours. I was disappointed with my ex and decided to move on. The decision was made much earlier but I still held on until he made me too disappointed and I found that my feelings for him had faded, so I moved on, but not for anyone else though.
If, as you said, they "did something", I do not consider them to have been completely faithful.
But that's my personal standard.
Well... mistakes do happen, especially when someone is emotionally messed up. Not that anyone should condone it though.
But the fact remains that the girls chose to go back to the original guy and start afresh with them, instead of the new guys.
That is something already. Others may view as being cowardly or foolish, but I feel if the girl is willing to overlook all the past faults and stick to the guy even if there is someone better, she is being something by willing to give another chance.
And forgiveness does not come easy to most people, especially where feelings and hurts are concerned.
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