And that is how this week had been. Either that, or I am getting on in my years, that I am not able to function properly throughout the day without feeling burnt-out. I have had a long week at work, with my new superior coming in and shifting the places around, with auditors coming after me for two missing documents which have already been missing before my time and there was absolutely no way I could trace them since I have exhasuted all my options, and with clients who kept insisting for us to pay the bill and refused to send another bill when we never received the original bill in the first place, and it would had been so much easier if they could just send us another invoice instead of bouncing emails back and forth, which ended up being more time-consuming and not getting what they wanted.
A sign that I am really burnt-out, or just getting old, is that my memory has become shorter. I could not even remember what I did last week, and whether I have sent out certain documents, or whether I have obtained signatories for other documents. In short, I am going around in a confused and dazed state of mind. I cannot even remember whether I have paid my bills, and if I needed to write out another cheque for bill payment. If this goes on, I am going to be in serious trouble.
To make matters worse, I had just been told at the last moment that I have to help play for mass this Sunday. All the regular musicians are tied up somewhere else, so there is absolutely no one else who is able to play. Not that I am not willing, but I have not touched the piano for half a year at least, and not really played anything for at least a year and a half. My electone is totally spoilt, so I cannot play the songs organ style. My church mate brought down all the scores for me last night, but how am I going to whip the song into shape in just a day or so? In the past when I had regular performances, I took at least a month of intensive practice before the song could be good enough to be performed in public, and even then it was only one song. And I was still undergoing lessons where my teacher would take some time to listen to my song and give her comments.
Now I am all on my own, with the entire mass sequence of seven songs (and tunes), with just a day for the songs to sound decent. While trying out last night, I realise I have lost touch so much. Note-reading is still fine, but I have no idea which accompaniment to use anymore, or which chords to use, or whether it is in a major or minor key. I used to be able to do that the moment I saw the song, now it took me a great deal of sight-reading and listening to what the tune sounds like before I can determine, and even then I am not sure if I got them all right. I do not even know which rhythm to use anymore! Oh dear, I am going to make such a fool of myself on stage!
A sign that I am really burnt-out, or just getting old, is that my memory has become shorter. I could not even remember what I did last week, and whether I have sent out certain documents, or whether I have obtained signatories for other documents. In short, I am going around in a confused and dazed state of mind. I cannot even remember whether I have paid my bills, and if I needed to write out another cheque for bill payment. If this goes on, I am going to be in serious trouble.
To make matters worse, I had just been told at the last moment that I have to help play for mass this Sunday. All the regular musicians are tied up somewhere else, so there is absolutely no one else who is able to play. Not that I am not willing, but I have not touched the piano for half a year at least, and not really played anything for at least a year and a half. My electone is totally spoilt, so I cannot play the songs organ style. My church mate brought down all the scores for me last night, but how am I going to whip the song into shape in just a day or so? In the past when I had regular performances, I took at least a month of intensive practice before the song could be good enough to be performed in public, and even then it was only one song. And I was still undergoing lessons where my teacher would take some time to listen to my song and give her comments.
Now I am all on my own, with the entire mass sequence of seven songs (and tunes), with just a day for the songs to sound decent. While trying out last night, I realise I have lost touch so much. Note-reading is still fine, but I have no idea which accompaniment to use anymore, or which chords to use, or whether it is in a major or minor key. I used to be able to do that the moment I saw the song, now it took me a great deal of sight-reading and listening to what the tune sounds like before I can determine, and even then I am not sure if I got them all right. I do not even know which rhythm to use anymore! Oh dear, I am going to make such a fool of myself on stage!
2 comments:
I hope things turn out well for you.. ^_^
Thanks!
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