The reason I had not written for a few days is because I had to ponder on the third problem I have. Let’s just say this is a rather confusing time for me. When I was young, whenever I was stressed up over studies and examinations, coupled with the fact that my input was never proportional to my output, I thought I had lots of problems. It was only when you grow up then you realize these are but minuscule and real problems are faced when you are on the verge of bankruptcy, retrenchment, trying to make ends meet in supporting a family or when you lost a loved one.
Alright, I admit, I am a problematic person. Just when I thought I am done with something, along comes something else. Perhaps my life is predestined to be full of trouble, who knows? After all, why are some people able to go by their lives with nary a problematic time, everything go well with them, whereas there will always be others who had bad luck the moment they were born?
Yes, I know I am luckier than a lot of others, and perhaps I should be satisfied. But when things are so pressing, I have urgent problems on hand to solve before things can get back to normal, and I can start being satisfied again. Still, if there is a chance for something better, why be satisfied with what one has?
For instance, if you can strive for a better living, why be satisfied with just a mere meager income? I am not saying everyone should be a spendthrift or materialistic, but if there are better opportunities with higher income, then it makes sense to move, right? Unless the job is something which one absolutely abhors, then of course do not take it up even if the pay is quite a jump. It is not a matter of being materialistic or not being satisfied with what one has. Afterall, one should always progress and improve.
Which comes to my problem. You know how life is never that smooth at least for me, ie whatever I like I can never get, and whatever I do not like somehow or other I just end up doing? It is as if I have been warring with Murphy all my life, trying to overrule all his laws. Like I used to wish I can have a better family. I do not hate my family of course, and they have been with me through some of my more pertinent moments, but still, things can be better. Like I wish my brothers can be better behaved, or that I can do more for my family. I used to sing, but due to restructuring, I was asked to leave. Since then, I have not really sung a ditty.
Seems like it is so hard to even do what I really like! Yes, I am playing the piano more often lately, but I am not that happy with my progress, not to mention the fact that my piano is way out of tune and can be retired, but until I can afford a new piano, I have to stick with this for now. And the thing I yearn more than anything else? Find the right person to settle down with, and that too, has been a problem that has been dragging on for years.
So what exactly is my problem? The past few weeks, I had been sorting out my thoughts and feelings. I have mentioned certain things to a couple of close friends, but I have kept mum on the full details. I still do believe in fate or destiny or God’s will, so I guess when certain things happened, I cannot help but feel it is destiny playing a part.
Otherwise why is it you never know someone exists, and all of a sudden you two can meet each other by chance? The person you met by chance may eventually end up your partner, after all the numerous blind dates and fiascos you encounter, like what happened to my friend. But this is not happening to me. I mean, I have met people by chance, but I have no idea who (if any) will be my partner as yet. As it is, I may not even get married. But I have been lucky as in the few people I actually met by chance, turn out to be much better than expected.
People know it is not easy to get me impressed, especially by first sight, but someone I met recently got me really impressed, so impressed that I am in the danger zone. It is not hard to fall hard for this person. Whereas those I have known through dating agencies and whatnot, somehow never got me that impressed.
Of course the feelings have to be mutual. Perhaps that person feels indifferent towards me, even if I have a good impression. As my kind of luck will have it, coupled with the fact that I am still at war with Murphy trying to overrule his laws, the one I am more impressed with seems less interested in me, and the one I am more indifferent to, seems more interested in me.
I always dislike having a triangle! There is no reason why you may have a good impression of a person, just like there is no reason why one simply cannot stand another person. There is simply no explanation why that person got me so impressed at first instance. Maybe he just has that X-Factor as far as I am concerned.
Which is why I am in a confused state of mind. It is so hard to finally find someone I can be impressed with at first sight. In almost the whole of my dating life, there had been only one other person I have been impressed with at first instance, and that was during my younger years, when emotions and ideals were still raw and fancy.
I never thought I would ever find someone like that again, especially not at this point in time, when I am more emotionally mature (I hope). Now when I have finally outgrown all these romantic passion (I think), I thought I could just mix and mingle around and let things happen naturally, not impose any form of criteria whatsoever and let things come, when along comes this person and got me captivated.
You know how one can always say we have a criteria on the kind of person we are looking for? I have met a few who did meet up, but somehow things did not work out. It was like we were both too busy trying to see if each other meet up, that whatever that did not meet up was dropped, although in most cases I was the one that was dropped. Yet with this person, somehow none of my criteria came to mind. I just got impressed, and strangely, this person got me more impressed at first instance than those who did meet my criteria.
So what got me so impressed with this particular person? Is it because of the way he looks? Definitely not. People who know me know looks have never been a factor. I have met better looking people whom I have totally no impression of (not that he is unpleasing to the eye). Besides it is not as if I am lacking of eye candy, especially since a certain French Orlando Bloom look-alike recently joined my company, tall, dark and handsome, with wavy hair that one can just brush one’s fingers into, and eyes that look right into your soul that will make lots of girls quiver.
So what is it about this guy I am so impressed with? I was actually drawn to his intellect and eloquence, his articulation both in speech and writing. Plus his high level of IQ, EQ and FQ, considering he goes according to Buffetology methods in investments. And his knowledge. His knowledge is so vast that the moment he opens his mouth, my knowledge increases twofold. Many a times, when we converse with each other through emails, I have to do a google search to find out the background of what he is saying before I can even contribute to the conversation!
His maturity comes to mind too. Perhaps he has a much richer life experience than others, but I find it intellectually challenging and enriching to talk to him. He is someone who is mature yet fun-loving at the same time. Most guys I come across, they are either at the same level as me, or below me. Not that I am so smart or such a snob, but the fact is many guys I know can hardly relate to what I say. Many are just shallow and simple-minded. So in the end I gave up talking to these people, as it got very tiring talking to them as they are of the wrong frequency.
And most people will not bother to improve what they know. They are just willing to be stuck where they are, not to explore new things or face new challenges. Which is why I get bored with people like that. Just like a job, I need someone who can challenge me, who can make me learn new things, who can help improve and enrich me, instead of just talking to me on trivial matters. Which is why I got captivated, because he makes me feel inadequate, that I need to constantly find out things before I talk to him. And this is what I crave for - challenge and new things to learn!
He is also a gentleman. He ensures my comfort and enjoyment whenever we meet up, shows utmost respect to me and can take care of me really well. Someone reliable and responsible. And he does all these not because he wants to please, but rather because it is just him. He truly enjoys life, his zest of life is so great that he is willing to explore things and places which many people will never explore! I can totally relate to it because I am somewhat like that too!
Besides, he has all the five 'C's. Not that I am being materialistic, but if one counts eligibility in the sense of having cash, car, condominium, credit cards, career, country club, then he has all these and more. But all these are immaterial. He has the other five 'C's as far as I am concerned - chivalry, comical, conscientious, charisma, completion, communication, capable.
And what is the best thing? He is still single and available! One can never believe someone like that is still unattached, but he is! I have checked and ensured he is really what he claims his status to be! Too good to be true right? But there are many highly eligible people, be they male or female, that are still single and available, not sure why.
In light of a recent article where I rattled off my ideal guy in one breath, talking to him last night suddenly dawned on me that I could easily just be describing him. Of course I did not realize it then, but upon thinking back, he does meet the attributes of the ideal person I described. In the past, I was so cooped up with whether the person actually meets my criteria to really give anyone a chance. Then I let go of whatever criteria I had and just meet people with an open mind, yet still I have not met anyone I could think of progressing with. Yes, there are a few who have become good friends, but that was it.
Then I happened to meet this person by chance. And I was impressed at first instance. Other people I have met either gave me a neutral or totally put off impression, but this is the first person in more than ten years that could give me a good impression at first instance. And it was not as if I was even purposely looking for someone like that.
Somehow with him, there is no comparison of anything that I set out. Whatever criteria I had were thrown out. I only know I enjoy myself and his company very much and like to see much more of him. In fact, the more I know him, the more I see how different we are, yet the more impressed I become. Not only that, he makes me yearn to be a better person, to read even more widely, to increase my knowledge and to see things from different angles. Wonder if that is a good sign, or is destiny finally going my way?
Which is why he is someone I would really like to get to know much better, provided he feels the same way. Afterall, he has a whole buffet to himself, why would he settle for a mere salad like me? The funny thing is, all those times I was griping on whether I should lower my expectations, when along came a person who could make me throw out every criteria and just focus on having a good time in his company. But as it is, I may not meet up to his criteria, so in the end, everything may come to a nought again. Oh well …. Back to war with Murphy again!
Alright, I admit, I am a problematic person. Just when I thought I am done with something, along comes something else. Perhaps my life is predestined to be full of trouble, who knows? After all, why are some people able to go by their lives with nary a problematic time, everything go well with them, whereas there will always be others who had bad luck the moment they were born?
Yes, I know I am luckier than a lot of others, and perhaps I should be satisfied. But when things are so pressing, I have urgent problems on hand to solve before things can get back to normal, and I can start being satisfied again. Still, if there is a chance for something better, why be satisfied with what one has?
For instance, if you can strive for a better living, why be satisfied with just a mere meager income? I am not saying everyone should be a spendthrift or materialistic, but if there are better opportunities with higher income, then it makes sense to move, right? Unless the job is something which one absolutely abhors, then of course do not take it up even if the pay is quite a jump. It is not a matter of being materialistic or not being satisfied with what one has. Afterall, one should always progress and improve.
Which comes to my problem. You know how life is never that smooth at least for me, ie whatever I like I can never get, and whatever I do not like somehow or other I just end up doing? It is as if I have been warring with Murphy all my life, trying to overrule all his laws. Like I used to wish I can have a better family. I do not hate my family of course, and they have been with me through some of my more pertinent moments, but still, things can be better. Like I wish my brothers can be better behaved, or that I can do more for my family. I used to sing, but due to restructuring, I was asked to leave. Since then, I have not really sung a ditty.
Seems like it is so hard to even do what I really like! Yes, I am playing the piano more often lately, but I am not that happy with my progress, not to mention the fact that my piano is way out of tune and can be retired, but until I can afford a new piano, I have to stick with this for now. And the thing I yearn more than anything else? Find the right person to settle down with, and that too, has been a problem that has been dragging on for years.
So what exactly is my problem? The past few weeks, I had been sorting out my thoughts and feelings. I have mentioned certain things to a couple of close friends, but I have kept mum on the full details. I still do believe in fate or destiny or God’s will, so I guess when certain things happened, I cannot help but feel it is destiny playing a part.
Otherwise why is it you never know someone exists, and all of a sudden you two can meet each other by chance? The person you met by chance may eventually end up your partner, after all the numerous blind dates and fiascos you encounter, like what happened to my friend. But this is not happening to me. I mean, I have met people by chance, but I have no idea who (if any) will be my partner as yet. As it is, I may not even get married. But I have been lucky as in the few people I actually met by chance, turn out to be much better than expected.
People know it is not easy to get me impressed, especially by first sight, but someone I met recently got me really impressed, so impressed that I am in the danger zone. It is not hard to fall hard for this person. Whereas those I have known through dating agencies and whatnot, somehow never got me that impressed.
Of course the feelings have to be mutual. Perhaps that person feels indifferent towards me, even if I have a good impression. As my kind of luck will have it, coupled with the fact that I am still at war with Murphy trying to overrule his laws, the one I am more impressed with seems less interested in me, and the one I am more indifferent to, seems more interested in me.
I always dislike having a triangle! There is no reason why you may have a good impression of a person, just like there is no reason why one simply cannot stand another person. There is simply no explanation why that person got me so impressed at first instance. Maybe he just has that X-Factor as far as I am concerned.
Which is why I am in a confused state of mind. It is so hard to finally find someone I can be impressed with at first sight. In almost the whole of my dating life, there had been only one other person I have been impressed with at first instance, and that was during my younger years, when emotions and ideals were still raw and fancy.
I never thought I would ever find someone like that again, especially not at this point in time, when I am more emotionally mature (I hope). Now when I have finally outgrown all these romantic passion (I think), I thought I could just mix and mingle around and let things happen naturally, not impose any form of criteria whatsoever and let things come, when along comes this person and got me captivated.
You know how one can always say we have a criteria on the kind of person we are looking for? I have met a few who did meet up, but somehow things did not work out. It was like we were both too busy trying to see if each other meet up, that whatever that did not meet up was dropped, although in most cases I was the one that was dropped. Yet with this person, somehow none of my criteria came to mind. I just got impressed, and strangely, this person got me more impressed at first instance than those who did meet my criteria.
So what got me so impressed with this particular person? Is it because of the way he looks? Definitely not. People who know me know looks have never been a factor. I have met better looking people whom I have totally no impression of (not that he is unpleasing to the eye). Besides it is not as if I am lacking of eye candy, especially since a certain French Orlando Bloom look-alike recently joined my company, tall, dark and handsome, with wavy hair that one can just brush one’s fingers into, and eyes that look right into your soul that will make lots of girls quiver.
So what is it about this guy I am so impressed with? I was actually drawn to his intellect and eloquence, his articulation both in speech and writing. Plus his high level of IQ, EQ and FQ, considering he goes according to Buffetology methods in investments. And his knowledge. His knowledge is so vast that the moment he opens his mouth, my knowledge increases twofold. Many a times, when we converse with each other through emails, I have to do a google search to find out the background of what he is saying before I can even contribute to the conversation!
His maturity comes to mind too. Perhaps he has a much richer life experience than others, but I find it intellectually challenging and enriching to talk to him. He is someone who is mature yet fun-loving at the same time. Most guys I come across, they are either at the same level as me, or below me. Not that I am so smart or such a snob, but the fact is many guys I know can hardly relate to what I say. Many are just shallow and simple-minded. So in the end I gave up talking to these people, as it got very tiring talking to them as they are of the wrong frequency.
And most people will not bother to improve what they know. They are just willing to be stuck where they are, not to explore new things or face new challenges. Which is why I get bored with people like that. Just like a job, I need someone who can challenge me, who can make me learn new things, who can help improve and enrich me, instead of just talking to me on trivial matters. Which is why I got captivated, because he makes me feel inadequate, that I need to constantly find out things before I talk to him. And this is what I crave for - challenge and new things to learn!
He is also a gentleman. He ensures my comfort and enjoyment whenever we meet up, shows utmost respect to me and can take care of me really well. Someone reliable and responsible. And he does all these not because he wants to please, but rather because it is just him. He truly enjoys life, his zest of life is so great that he is willing to explore things and places which many people will never explore! I can totally relate to it because I am somewhat like that too!
Besides, he has all the five 'C's. Not that I am being materialistic, but if one counts eligibility in the sense of having cash, car, condominium, credit cards, career, country club, then he has all these and more. But all these are immaterial. He has the other five 'C's as far as I am concerned - chivalry, comical, conscientious, charisma, completion, communication, capable.
And what is the best thing? He is still single and available! One can never believe someone like that is still unattached, but he is! I have checked and ensured he is really what he claims his status to be! Too good to be true right? But there are many highly eligible people, be they male or female, that are still single and available, not sure why.
In light of a recent article where I rattled off my ideal guy in one breath, talking to him last night suddenly dawned on me that I could easily just be describing him. Of course I did not realize it then, but upon thinking back, he does meet the attributes of the ideal person I described. In the past, I was so cooped up with whether the person actually meets my criteria to really give anyone a chance. Then I let go of whatever criteria I had and just meet people with an open mind, yet still I have not met anyone I could think of progressing with. Yes, there are a few who have become good friends, but that was it.
Then I happened to meet this person by chance. And I was impressed at first instance. Other people I have met either gave me a neutral or totally put off impression, but this is the first person in more than ten years that could give me a good impression at first instance. And it was not as if I was even purposely looking for someone like that.
Somehow with him, there is no comparison of anything that I set out. Whatever criteria I had were thrown out. I only know I enjoy myself and his company very much and like to see much more of him. In fact, the more I know him, the more I see how different we are, yet the more impressed I become. Not only that, he makes me yearn to be a better person, to read even more widely, to increase my knowledge and to see things from different angles. Wonder if that is a good sign, or is destiny finally going my way?
Which is why he is someone I would really like to get to know much better, provided he feels the same way. Afterall, he has a whole buffet to himself, why would he settle for a mere salad like me? The funny thing is, all those times I was griping on whether I should lower my expectations, when along came a person who could make me throw out every criteria and just focus on having a good time in his company. But as it is, I may not meet up to his criteria, so in the end, everything may come to a nought again. Oh well …. Back to war with Murphy again!
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