Last night's Prayer Meet was really inspiring indeed. The topic was on Resolving and Reconciliation. In essence, what does one do when faced with a conflict? Do we become skunks or do we become turtles?
I guess I used to be a skunk, whether deliberately or not. But through the years, after certain experiences, I think I would not say I am totally a turtle, but I have mellowed down somewhat (I hope!). So perhaps I am now in-between? Not totally retreat yet not totally inciting trouble as well.
The video we watched summed it up very well. When resolving conflict, there are a few steps in mind :
1. Talk to God before you talk to the person
2. Take the initiative
3. Acknowledge the conflict
4. Recognise you have a part to contribute to the conflict
5. Blame the problem, not the person
6. Seek reconciliation, not just resolution
There is one more, but I cannot remember what it is. Essentially it is pretty normal, as in people know what they are supposed to do. But how many of us actually do it? How many of us are willing to eat the humble pie and take the initiative to apologise and reconcile?
How many of us are willing to recognise we do have a part to play in the conflict? How many of us are able to see things objectively and blame the problem, not making personal attacks on the person? And how many of us are willing to reconcile instead of just resolve? In other words forgive and totally forget?
Furthermore, it is all good trying to resolve and reconcile, but what if you meet those who are totally unreasonable and blaming the whole world for what is going on? How do you resolve the conflict and reconcile with people like these?
Say you can speak up and apologise sincerely, but that person got it into his / her head that you are the devil incarnate and kept making personal attacks, then the more you tried to apologise and explain the worse things become.
In this case is it better to be a skunk or a turtle? To prevent more trouble, it is better to be a turtle, but if one is a turtle, then does it mean that one is cowardly or running away from the problem?
I guess I used to be a skunk, whether deliberately or not. But through the years, after certain experiences, I think I would not say I am totally a turtle, but I have mellowed down somewhat (I hope!). So perhaps I am now in-between? Not totally retreat yet not totally inciting trouble as well.
The video we watched summed it up very well. When resolving conflict, there are a few steps in mind :
1. Talk to God before you talk to the person
2. Take the initiative
3. Acknowledge the conflict
4. Recognise you have a part to contribute to the conflict
5. Blame the problem, not the person
6. Seek reconciliation, not just resolution
There is one more, but I cannot remember what it is. Essentially it is pretty normal, as in people know what they are supposed to do. But how many of us actually do it? How many of us are willing to eat the humble pie and take the initiative to apologise and reconcile?
How many of us are willing to recognise we do have a part to play in the conflict? How many of us are able to see things objectively and blame the problem, not making personal attacks on the person? And how many of us are willing to reconcile instead of just resolve? In other words forgive and totally forget?
Furthermore, it is all good trying to resolve and reconcile, but what if you meet those who are totally unreasonable and blaming the whole world for what is going on? How do you resolve the conflict and reconcile with people like these?
Say you can speak up and apologise sincerely, but that person got it into his / her head that you are the devil incarnate and kept making personal attacks, then the more you tried to apologise and explain the worse things become.
In this case is it better to be a skunk or a turtle? To prevent more trouble, it is better to be a turtle, but if one is a turtle, then does it mean that one is cowardly or running away from the problem?
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