Lilypie

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

How To Handle Adversity?

I was having a discussion with a friend recently, and we somehow got to talking about how the "strawberry" generation (ie those in their late teens and early twenties who have breezed through life and cannot take any form of failure) is so called because they look good and nice on the outside, but so soft on the inside that any form of pressure will crush them.

Come to think of it, the younger generation is getting more and more spoilt. One wonders how, when the baby-boomers have passed on, the young generation is able to take their places in society. I cannot imagine how the world is going to be if every batch is worse and worse.

This got me thinking to a story which I have come across in a lot of inspirational articles. Nobody knows who wrote this story, and every version is a bit different, but the essential message is the same. This version is taken from this website.

A certain daughter complained to her father about her life and how things have been so hard for her. She did not know she was going to make it and she wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that just as one problem was solved, another arose.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen, filled three pots with water and placed the fire on high. Soon the three pots came to a boil. In one, he placed carrots, in the other, he placed eggs, and in the last, he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently wondered what he was trying to do. She had problems, and he was making this strange concoction. In half an hour, he walked over to the oven and turned down the fire. He pulled the carrots out and placed them in the bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in the bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her, he asked, "Darling, what do you see?" Smartly, she replied, "Carrots, eggs, and coffee."

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Her face frowned from the strength of the coffee.

Humbly, she asked, "What does it mean, Father?" He explained, " Each of them faced the same adversity, 212 degrees (Farenheit) of boiling water. However each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. But after going through boiling water, it softened and became weak.

"The egg was fragile. A thin outer shell protected a liquid centre. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The coffee beans are unique, however. After they were in boiling water, it became stronger and richer.

"Which are you," he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Are you the carrot that seems hard, but with the smallest amount of pain, adversity, heat, you wilt and become soft with no strength?

Are you the egg, which starts off with a malleable heart, a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a divorce, a layoff you become hardened and stiff? Your shell looks the same, but you are so bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and heart, internally.

Or are you like the coffee bean? The bean does not get its peak flavour and robust until it reaches 212 degrees Farenheit. When the water gets the hottest, it just tastes better. When things are the worst, you get better. When people talk the most, your praises increase. When the hour is the darkest, trials are their greatest, your worship elevates to another level.

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

For me, certain times I am a carrot, other times I am an egg. But now I know I want to be a coffee bean - to change the situation around me into the best there is, instead of letting the situation change me.

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