I came across an article in the second section of the Sunday Chinese newspaper earlier which gave me a sense of deja vu after reading it. The article is on tolerance in relationships, and how tolerant is considered bearable, and when does it become unbearable? The headlines go something like when one is young, they will give their all in a relationship, thinking that by tolerating all will be fine. But after being through a series of relationships, one should know how to differentiate between things that can be tolerated and things that cannot.
The article mentions women in relationships. According to the writer, there are two types of women - the giver and the taker. The giver will the the ones who give more in the relationship, tolerating every fault of the guy even if the guy is not treating her right. The taker is the one that does not tolerate, even for something minor, and expects the guy to always give in to her.
The article is based on the giver. The writer mentions a school friend of hers, whom, when she was in her first relationship, she tolerated the guy. The guy appeared to be sweet and caring and gentlemanly and chivalrous, the type of nice guy which girls like. So when he banged her head against the wall after their first quarrel, everyone was shocked, but she thought she had done something to anger him, so apologised.
Ever since then, each time they quarrelled, he would hit her or turn violent. He never apologised, and she was always the one who had to apologise after every quarrel, only to get raved at. Still, she tolerated as she thought she was the one at fault. Even when they broke up, he was the one that initiated, in a fast food restaurant. He simply said he had no more feelings for her, and even though she cried and promised to be better, he stood his ground.
She was so hurt that tears started dropping down her face, yet he only told her not to embarrass him in a public place. When she could not stop crying, he slapped her in public and walked off, leaving her alone. I could imagine how embarrassed the poor girl must have felt, and how uneasy those witnessing would have felt.
The writer continued that when she met up with her friend years later, when recalling this incident, her friend then said why was she so dumb? Why could she not have just dumped him the moment he tried to bash her head in? Yet, why did she still tolerate when he dumped her at the fast food restaurant and slapped her? She should be the one to dump him and slap him, a few more times!
Now why did this story sound so familiar? Honestly speaking, if one is in a relationship, when there are more unhappy times than happy times, when you suffer so much in love, when you have to endure people's harshness, irresponsibility, violence and chauvinism, is it still worth it to continue?
The article mentions women in relationships. According to the writer, there are two types of women - the giver and the taker. The giver will the the ones who give more in the relationship, tolerating every fault of the guy even if the guy is not treating her right. The taker is the one that does not tolerate, even for something minor, and expects the guy to always give in to her.
The article is based on the giver. The writer mentions a school friend of hers, whom, when she was in her first relationship, she tolerated the guy. The guy appeared to be sweet and caring and gentlemanly and chivalrous, the type of nice guy which girls like. So when he banged her head against the wall after their first quarrel, everyone was shocked, but she thought she had done something to anger him, so apologised.
Ever since then, each time they quarrelled, he would hit her or turn violent. He never apologised, and she was always the one who had to apologise after every quarrel, only to get raved at. Still, she tolerated as she thought she was the one at fault. Even when they broke up, he was the one that initiated, in a fast food restaurant. He simply said he had no more feelings for her, and even though she cried and promised to be better, he stood his ground.
She was so hurt that tears started dropping down her face, yet he only told her not to embarrass him in a public place. When she could not stop crying, he slapped her in public and walked off, leaving her alone. I could imagine how embarrassed the poor girl must have felt, and how uneasy those witnessing would have felt.
The writer continued that when she met up with her friend years later, when recalling this incident, her friend then said why was she so dumb? Why could she not have just dumped him the moment he tried to bash her head in? Yet, why did she still tolerate when he dumped her at the fast food restaurant and slapped her? She should be the one to dump him and slap him, a few more times!
Now why did this story sound so familiar? Honestly speaking, if one is in a relationship, when there are more unhappy times than happy times, when you suffer so much in love, when you have to endure people's harshness, irresponsibility, violence and chauvinism, is it still worth it to continue?
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