I have always dreamed of what a perfect relationship is going to be for me. Then along the way, I had been advised that nothing is perfect, so I should stop dreaming and not be so choosy. And when I was not choosy, the only person that ended up hurt and upset is me. What amazes me is that just when I have finally kicked someone out of my life, and going back to being single and happy, all of a sudden, things started happening unexpectedly.
I always have a list of criteria of what the type of man I am looking for, the type that will be the best and most right for me. However I always let my emotions overrule me, always thought that nothing matters as long as the feelings are real. Yet why is it always my feelings that were real and not others?
After I kicked that lying cheating jerk out of my life, I was ready to just give up. I thought no one will be suitable, no one can ever make me feel such intense emotions again. But I came to my senses. Probably finally woken up from the deep slumber I always seem to be in. I start to think that if compromising and accommodating is so hard sometimes, instead of having to do that, will it not be better to find someone who is similar to myself? Afterall, that is why I set out the list of criteria in the first place, the qualities I look for in a man I can have a future with.
And then he came into my life. Someone who fits almost everything I ask for - smart and knowledgeable, modern yet traditional, church-goer, filial, family-oriented, plays the piano, violin and guitar, plays tennis and squash, enjoys English, Chinese and French Literature, speaks English, Mandarin, French and German, and did I mention, a foreign scholar?
Can anyone ever think that a mainlander is anything like this? I cannot believe it myself at first, so when I found out where he hails from, I am impressed! Really impressed! He speaks and writes much better and more fluent English than a lot of locals I know! What triggers it is that my mum actually likes him after the first impression, when he walked me home one day and she happened to see us and he chatted with her for a short while. No one had ever talked to my mum face to face so voluntarily before!
He really makes the effort to get to know me. He calls me almost everyday, sends me messages so many times a day, chats online almost everyday. The thing is he is someone I really love to talk to, we have the same visions and goals, same directions where our lives are going. In fact, he is almost like a male version of myself, if that is even possible! He actually knows what I am talking about when I mention Shakespeare, or Journey to the West, or martial arts novels, or even Guy de Maupassant!
It was not like before where even though I could sense the compatibility was not really there from the start, I still decided to plunge in and take a gamble. This time round, I can actually foresee a future with this person, and there had only been one other person before that made me feel this way.
Like what my best friend and mum advises - I am already this age, I should finally learn from all my failed relationships and look for someone reliable and family-oriented for once, instead of always trying to find compatibility from non-compatibility. All other factors can be overlooked. Besides, my own criteria should not be too far wrong, and the fact that my mum actually praises him is enough for me.
So yes, I have a new man in my life. Very fast? Well, considering I have known him about a few months, perhaps it is fast. And no, he is not the reason I broke up with the other fellow. But when one's biological clock is fast ticking away, and I have finally realise what it is that will work, and when nature takes its course at a faster speed than before, well, things just happen before you know it.
This is the last time I am ever going to be involved in a relationship, so I do hope it will be for life. I do not want anymore heartaches or misery. So this time, I am taking it real slow and steady, instead of being so full of passion and excitement like in the past. Perhaps only this way things will work out? Maybe changing an approach will be better since the past approaches have never worked out.
I always have a list of criteria of what the type of man I am looking for, the type that will be the best and most right for me. However I always let my emotions overrule me, always thought that nothing matters as long as the feelings are real. Yet why is it always my feelings that were real and not others?
After I kicked that lying cheating jerk out of my life, I was ready to just give up. I thought no one will be suitable, no one can ever make me feel such intense emotions again. But I came to my senses. Probably finally woken up from the deep slumber I always seem to be in. I start to think that if compromising and accommodating is so hard sometimes, instead of having to do that, will it not be better to find someone who is similar to myself? Afterall, that is why I set out the list of criteria in the first place, the qualities I look for in a man I can have a future with.
And then he came into my life. Someone who fits almost everything I ask for - smart and knowledgeable, modern yet traditional, church-goer, filial, family-oriented, plays the piano, violin and guitar, plays tennis and squash, enjoys English, Chinese and French Literature, speaks English, Mandarin, French and German, and did I mention, a foreign scholar?
Can anyone ever think that a mainlander is anything like this? I cannot believe it myself at first, so when I found out where he hails from, I am impressed! Really impressed! He speaks and writes much better and more fluent English than a lot of locals I know! What triggers it is that my mum actually likes him after the first impression, when he walked me home one day and she happened to see us and he chatted with her for a short while. No one had ever talked to my mum face to face so voluntarily before!
He really makes the effort to get to know me. He calls me almost everyday, sends me messages so many times a day, chats online almost everyday. The thing is he is someone I really love to talk to, we have the same visions and goals, same directions where our lives are going. In fact, he is almost like a male version of myself, if that is even possible! He actually knows what I am talking about when I mention Shakespeare, or Journey to the West, or martial arts novels, or even Guy de Maupassant!
It was not like before where even though I could sense the compatibility was not really there from the start, I still decided to plunge in and take a gamble. This time round, I can actually foresee a future with this person, and there had only been one other person before that made me feel this way.
Like what my best friend and mum advises - I am already this age, I should finally learn from all my failed relationships and look for someone reliable and family-oriented for once, instead of always trying to find compatibility from non-compatibility. All other factors can be overlooked. Besides, my own criteria should not be too far wrong, and the fact that my mum actually praises him is enough for me.
So yes, I have a new man in my life. Very fast? Well, considering I have known him about a few months, perhaps it is fast. And no, he is not the reason I broke up with the other fellow. But when one's biological clock is fast ticking away, and I have finally realise what it is that will work, and when nature takes its course at a faster speed than before, well, things just happen before you know it.
This is the last time I am ever going to be involved in a relationship, so I do hope it will be for life. I do not want anymore heartaches or misery. So this time, I am taking it real slow and steady, instead of being so full of passion and excitement like in the past. Perhaps only this way things will work out? Maybe changing an approach will be better since the past approaches have never worked out.
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