A Comfy December Weather (And Merry Christmas!)

This December, it has been pretty cool weather, but not rainy. At least I have not experienced much rain, as compared to previous years. I remember in previous Decembers, the rain came down in torrents. It became inconvenient to go places. It was raining non-stop when I was practicing for carolling, when I went out with friends, when I had to do some Christmas shopping.

This year, there is hardly any rain. There were drizzles here and there, but other than that, not much of a thunderstorm. Yet the weather is still pretty cool and breezy at night. Now I leave my windows open the whole day and the cool breeze just comes in, that even if there is no rain, I still have to pull on a blanket despite no fan or air-conditioning. Still, the weather has been relatively comfortable with an average of twenty-six degree Celsius.

Thus, when I took a look at the weather forecast for Japan, I was expecting the worst. Tokyo’s weather would be around four degree Celsius tomorrow, and slightly higher at five degree Celsius on Wednesday. Hopefully I will not freeze too much! However, the weather in Hakodate will go down to a four degrees below zero with showers on Wednesday!

Sapporo’s weather for the week will be around six degrees below zero. Just exactly how cold that is, I really have no idea! I am a born and bred tropical girl, so I have never experienced any winter whatsoever! The lowest temperature I ever experienced was two degree Celsius in New Zealand, but that was because it was at a bay and there was a hail. I got icicles caught on my face and hands and got frostbite. I suppose this time round will be worse!

I had to do more packing yesterday, as I managed to find some thermal underwear. Thus I need to re-arrange my luggage again. Since I will be wearing thermal, I need not bring so many layers after all, so I will be leaving the cashmere and angora cardigans home. Just trench coats, turtlenecks and pullovers will do, plus a North Star windbreaker of sorts. And of course, leather gloves and a woollen winter hat!

I leave tomorrow early morning for Japan. I will be back after sixth January, so this will be my last post for the year. Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful year ahead! Hoping the new year will bring new hopes and dreams, leaving behind all the happenings of this year, and embracing new adventures in the new turn-of-the-decade year!

Of Scarves And Yarns

Few months back, I was thinking of going for a knitting class for fun. However, that plan never came to pass as I had been busy with other things. Besides I did not think I would need to utilize what I will be learning any time soon. Who is to know my Japan trip is confirmed? Now that I really need knitwear, I have no time whatsoever to go for any classes now!

If I had attended the class, I could have made a simple scarf for myself and as Christmas presents since I will be spending Christmas up there. Now I have no choice but to buy. So today, I have to do some last minute shopping for winter scarves. If I could have knitted them myself, it would be so much more meaningful, but now, I have to resort to all the commercialized Christmas gifts as before. Oh well, at least it is just a little gesture, hopefully the rest will not mind so much!

Having said that, I was browsing through writing instruments as I need to re-stock for next semester, when I came across this – the Montblanc Starwalker Fountain Pen. How sleek and classy looking it is! That is really a cool pen to use for writing and to carry around! Just a pity I have no need for it right now, perhaps next time, hopefully it will not run out of stock so fast!

Globetrotters, United

I was at this restaurant last night as part of a group event. Since we were in a private room of sorts, even the menu was a special set dinner instead of the a la carte menu. Since we are in a group function, the restaurant would have catered a special menu for us. So why would some insist on having the a la carte menu instead? Perhaps the a la carte menu has more varieties, granted, but still, as part of the group event, should one not just go along with the flow? Afterall, nobody else complained about the menu except one person. Why must someone be given the priviledge of having the a la carte menu when all were part of the group anyway?

Besides, I wonder if most of them came from work as they were rather casually dressed. Most were in jeans and T-shirt, there was one who came in Bermudas as well! Of course, looks are not everything, but when meeting people for the first time in a group event, is it not just basic courtesy to be more presentable looking, instead of looking as if you are just going for a coffee at a normal hawker centre?

As usual, nobody was talking so I ended up talking the most again. Sigh…. Actually I was already resisting the urge to speak up already, especially when someone was making remarks about certain things I feel rather strongly for, but I do not wish to be so loud at the first instance! One of these days I must bring a peg to peg up my mouth, so everyone else can talk instead of just me gabbing away!

The food is not too bad though, the banana mousse is really great! The service is not bad, the waiters and waitresses are nice and friendly. The cost is pretty economical as well for a set meal, definitely not like some of those up market restaurants with food that is not up to par yet is so costly. Not a bad place to go!

Money Changer ....

I came across an amusing thing when I was taking a cab one morning. Attached to the dashboard was a sign “No change for $50 between 7 – 9am! I am not money changer!” I guess there are problems with cabbies running out of change if everyone gives big notes. As a cabbie, I am sure he will appreciate loose change instead of big notes, although at times, when one is in a hurry to get to work, they really may have no smaller change available.

I experienced it a few times too – when I only had a fifty and the cabbie had no change, I would either pay by card or he had to bring me to the nearest ATM to get change. Woe betide if the ATM itself can only give out fifty dollars instead of twenty! I ever had a cabbie who had to bring me to another ATM quite a distance away just to get loose notes, then drive me back again! They have to do that, otherwise the passenger can always threaten not to pay!

By right, if service providers cannot even provide loose change, then the customer does has a right not to pay, as it is on the onus of the service provider to provide good service, including foreseeing circumstances where the customer has only big notes and no small change. The service provider should be the one providing the loose change instead, but then judging from the general attitudes of our local service providers, seems that we as customers are the ones who have to spoil them instead of the other way round.

I was reflecting on this incident when I withdrew a lump sum yesterday, as I intend to change money today. The counter staff at the bank was really good, instead of giving me loose notes of ten or fifty or even hundred, she said in order to make things easier so I would not make it look like I am carrying so much cash around, she actually gave me thousand dollar notes instead.

Wow, first time in my life I ever came across a thousand dollar note, whether in local or other currency! (Countries where the currency goes by thousands do not count.) The lady very kindly gave me in thousand dollar denominations, so I jokingly said I better not get robbed that day, and she scolded me jokingly.

Incidentally, our thousand dollar note is purplish blue in colour, a tad darker than our two dollar note. Five dollars is green, ten dollars pinkish red, fifty dollars blue. Now what is hundred dollars then? I hardly come across a hundred dollar bill as well, so I cannot remember what colour it is already!

Anyway, I was guarding my bag very tightly yesterday, all the way from my office, out to dinner and home. Today when I went out, again I was guarding my bag very tightly. I cannot wait to go down to the money changer after work to change the currency! When that happens, I have to start guarding my wallet very tightly again, because Japanese Yen comes in thousands! Hundred Yen is almost as good as worthless! Which means I can easily have about a six figure sum with me! I really must tighten up on security!

Tri-Lo-Gy

Ever since I confirmed my trip, I planned to rent a phone this week as Japan is on full 3G network, and my phone is still not on 3G. In terms of phones, I go for the sleek and classy look rather than technology, thus as long as the phone has normal functions like calling, messaging, checking of mails, auto roaming, photo taking, MMS and GPRS, I do not see the need to have a 3G phone since I do not do video calls or any of the high technology stuff.

My kind of mobile phone has to be a clamshell, as that is smaller, lighter and sleeker than the normal phones. Which is why I am using a Samsung after the series of Nokias and Motorolas, as I find them too fat and bulky for me. Samsung phones are pretty good. I have been using this model for almost two years and it has never given me any cause for complaint.

The camera is good enough to take photos. There is quite a lot of storage space. The font is nice and good, the display is colourful and the LCD screen on the front flap doubles up as a makeup mirror as well. I can check emails and send MMS on it. There is even infra red and bluetooth, so I do not need a USB cable at all! Best is it is the same size as my palm, so it stays in my hand snugly, and my hands are already pretty small even for a lady! That is the kind of phone I like – small yet classy! Even if I am to carry a small clutch bag or evening bag, it is still small enough to fit inside a small handbag!

The only gripe is that it does not have enough storage for messages, thus after three hundred messages (Inbox, Drafts and Sent Items inclusive), I have to start deleting to make space for new incoming messages or to send messages. It also does not have enough storage for a phonebook, so after two hundred and fifty contacts, I have to start screening whose number to delete in order to make way for new contacts.

Hence I am pretty happy with my phone and was not intending to change anytime soon. Plus last year, my family members managed to get new phones, but they were more comfortable with their old phones so gave all the new ones to me. Thus I inherited quite a lot of phones last year, including the Samsung 3.5G HSDPA phone, Nokia N76 and Moto Razr. So I was not lacking of any phones.

However, since I was a little short of cash a few months back, I decided to sell all the phones away. Yes, I sold away the N76 without using it, which was a stupid decision and I regretted it, but at that point in time, I was desperate. At times like these, one has to assess which is more important – to have a cool phone for future use or to get rid of unnecessary things to tide things over.

I made quite a loss selling away all the phones, but at least it was enough to tide me over for another month or so. Recently, I wanted to see if I could get the N76 back, but unfortunately, the model was already off the market and there were no more around. Too bad. :-( So I called my service provider intending to rent a phone.

I had to wait until tomorrow in order to rent a phone so I would not incur more charges, and was happily waiting until I came across this phone. The Nokia 6600 Fold 3G version. Another cool, sleek, small clamshell phone. What is even better is that my line is due for an upgrade anyway, so I only need to renew the contract and get the phone at a very big discount, with a complimentary 3G SIM card thrown in! Plus if I order from the online shop, delivery charges will be waived too!

What can be better than that? I need a 3G phone anyway, because if I am to rent a local phone in Japan, I cannot call overseas, and what if my parents are trying to get me? At least I need to be able to send messages overseas in order to let my mum know I have arrived safely. Besides, the local phone rental may not necessarily cost any less than just getting a new phone.

So even though I was not intending to get a new phone, at times, when one comes across a good deal, one should just strike while the iron is hot. My new phone just arrived earlier, and even though it is slightly heavier than my current one, it is just as small and sleek. Another “palm top”. At least the extra phone can last me for another few years or so before it is due for another upgrade!

Yearning To Perform Again

Last night, on the way to watch “The Nutcracker”, I passed by a group of carollers. Since there was still a bit of time, I stayed around to watch. I must say, this is one group of good singers! Their voices are good (probably due to good training), the music is good, and even for carol singing, they sound really professional!

I did not catch which group it is, but they sound like seasoned performers. It should be a group that has been doing choral singing, not just an amateur carolling group. Which reminds me, I have not sung for ages! I have not been doing any singing or dancing this year due to piano playing and work demands.

Gosh, I miss performing! I miss those days when I had to rehearse many hours just to sing and perform on stage for an hour or so. Tiring, but fun! And satisfying, especially if the performance was a success, or if the audience were happy! When I reached home last night, I tried attuning my voice again by doing some exercises, and I can still reach the note! I cannot hold it as long as I like, but what matters is I still have not lost it! Maybe I really should start performing again!

The Nutcracker

I went to watch “The Nutcracker” last night. I have not caught the previous version, so I cannot compare, but this version seems not bad to me, except it gets rather draggy on the second part. Tchaikovsky was a genius indeed! To be able to compose the entire tune, where the whole thing can be danced out as a ballet, yet telling a story at the same time!

The story of the Nutcracker is a Christmas fantasy by itself. One can feel it in the music – lighthearted, soothing, dreamy, with a somewhat magical atmosphere. The main dancer is so graceful that she just flitted and glided on stage just like that! One look at her feet and one can tell she is born to dance!

Anyway, the synopsis of the story is that on Christmas Eve at the stroke of midnight, a girl called Clara received a Nutcracker doll from the village’s toy-maker-cum-magician. She was playing with the other kids and villages, when she was called in to bed. She left the Nutcracker doll on a bench and the toy-maker saw it. He wanted to give it back to her but she was already in bed, so he decided to keep it and give it back to her the next morning.

However, Clara realized that her Nutcracker doll was gone, so she went back outside to the bench looking for it, but it was gone. She started crying and fretting, and suddenly, a whole group of rats came attacking her! The King Rat wanted to take her hostage, but an army of toy soldiers, led by the Nutcracker (dressed in a major’s uniform) came out to protect her and fought with the rats.

Unfortunately, he was outnumbered, so Clara went to protect him in turn. Together, they managed to chase the rats away. The Snow Queen, seeing how brave the Nutcracker was, turned him into a handsome prince, and told both of them that to reward them for their bravery, they could go to the Kingdom of Sweets. The Queen, together with Clara and the Nutcracker Prince, boarded a carriage to go to the Kingdom of Sweets. End of Part One.

Part Two started with the fairies dancing in the Kingdom of Sweets. Clara and the Nutcracker Prince were warmly welcomed. Clara was given a cloak, and both were invited to a welcoming ceremonial of beautiful dancing. There were all kinds of dancing by all the folks in the Kingdom of Sweets, like the Sugar Plum fairies and the other fairy folk. Clara and the Nutcracker Prince even joined in the dancing.

Suddenly, Clara found herself drifting away. All the fairy folk started disappearing, and she was left alone in the darkness. Then she heard knocking, and woke up. So everything was just a dream! She answered the knocking at her door and found the toy-maker coming to return her the nutcracker doll. In the end, even though everything was just a dream, she felt really pleased and happy about her magical journey.

About the performance, the dance sequence is good. Despite the pirouettes and whatnot, the entire story was performed by a simple yet fantastic cast! In fact, there were not that many performers, so those in the minor roles had to take on more than one part. The sets were simple yet nice, and the entire performance gave a rather heartwarming feeling, especially to those who have forgotten the meaning of Christmas. I feel like dancing myself during the performance! When was the last time I actually danced anyway?

I was sitting right on top at Circle Three. Normally I would take Circle One, but since I did not want to spend so much on the ticket, I settled for Circle Three. Which was not too bad actually, because even though I was rather high up, my seat was towards the middle so it was still a good view. I could tell what the performers were expressing and gesturing.

Surprisingly, the theatre had more people than expected. It was not a full house, but still, in these times and with locals in generals not interested in arts events, especially ballet, there were more people than expected. Most came with families and friends, there were a few couples, and I was the only one that was alone.

It is much better going with someone of course, after all it is better to have company and a discussion post-performance. Why is it other girls can find a man who is willing to attend these shows with them, yet I can never find anyone who is willing to do so? Sigh……

Trying To Stretch Every Dollar

I have been too comfortable, that I admit. In the past when I went travelling, it is mostly with my parents. Most of the time they paid for me when I was younger, then in recent years when I started working, I started paying on my own. Still, I just gave a lump sum to my mum and she would handle everything. Even then, it was only on air fare and accommodation, meals were all provided for as my parents paid for all. Whatever souvenirs I wanted to get would be on my own expense.

Whenever we come back from a trip, my mum would do the accounts and see how much we spent in all, then averaging it out with the number of persons on the trip. She always manages to meet her budget. In fact, we always had extra left, which she would then return me accordingly. So when I first went on a trip with friends, I had no idea how much exactly to take along.

That was only a short weekend trip to Bintan, and since all of us had just started working, we did not have that much to spare. Thus we went economical all the way – the cheapest ferry, the cheapest lodging. The only thing we indulged on was the spa treatment and the drinks at night, right on the beach, under the stars. Even then, each of us spent less than S$500.00 for the whole journey.

Which is why when I was budgeting for this Japan trip, I had to take into account just how much is needed. I am never a figures person, so it is quite a headache trying to account for everything. The advantage is that I am travelling with people who are certified accountants, thus I really learnt a lot from them how to go about accounting for everything. All the more since I am the youngest, so I really look up to them.

Now I am at the age and status where I am supposed to have more assets finances wise (but for the recent trouble), not to mention the rest of them are earning far more than me, thus they are going to indulge all the way! If I had not recently cleared my debts, I would definitely have much more to spare, but right now, I need to keep a tighter budget.

Maybe some of you may think I should not be going on this trip, but after slogging away for the whole year, then scrimping and saving just to minus away my liabilities, now that I am finally done with all these, I believe I ought to have a break. A break to start anew, to let go and forget all the troubles incurred during the year. To usher in the new year with new hopes and dreams. If I can afford a trip, definitely I have worked out my sums, except I cannot afford to indulge as much as I would like to. I am not that ditsy!

The itinerary is that I will go to Tokyo on the twenty-third, stay overnight, then take a domestic flight to Hakodate in Southern Hokkaido on Christmas Eve to meet up with the rest of them, go to Noboribetsu on Christmas Day for two days, go on to Sapporo after that for two days, then go to Niseko thereafter to spend the New Year, before returning to Sapporo on the third, where we may spend one day in Otaru, then go back to Tokyo and back home.

Thus, instead of staying in a hotel in Tokyo, I will be camping over in the airport. Instead of taking the limousine bus to the domestic airport, I am going to lug my luggage and take a train all the way. I will not be doing any shopping in Tokyo (a waste, I know, but there will be other chances). All these can save at least 20000 Yen. Afterall, I will only be sort of transiting in Tokyo, not there for a tour per se.

Next time when I can more afford it, I will then probably tour around Honshu island, but right now, the focus is more on Hokkaido, hot springs and skiing. With the budget I worked out, I rather indulge more in the Christmas and New Year festivities in Hokkaido, the nice fresh seafood, the better sight-seeing places and also to buy my pen-pal and her son dinner when she comes over from Yokohama to meet me upon my return to Tokyo. Hopefully I can stretch every dollar as far as it goes!

Messy Channel Of Communication

One never knows how much trouble one can incur unless one really incurs the trouble. Or shall I say some organizations are just internally messy that the channels of communication is not effective? Just last month, I managed to pay off all my outstanding bills, with a ten percent rebate. I received a letter stating that all arrears have been paid and there are no more outstanding amounts, which is good! At least I can breathe a sigh of relief and start over again!

The very next day, I received a letter from the same bank, stating I have a minimum payment overdue which I have to pay immediately. Of course I was puzzled, as I just received the settlement letter the day before! So when I called the bank (after going through so many channels and being cut off all the time), I finally got the person in charge and told her my situation. She apologized profusely and said perhaps the other department has not been updated, thus sent out the bill.

So I said if I am to pay, should you not update everyone so people would not have to keep paying? She kept apologising and said she would let the other department know immediately to stop billing me and that I can just ignore the bill. So I told her that if I ignore the bill, is anyone going to call me for payment, because I have paid in full and do not wish to have anymore calls. She confirmed I can just ignore and there will not be anymore calls.

Good, so at least they have received the payment, then I do not need to keep calling them. But this thing makes me wonder, all those amounts I paid before, were they updated? Is that the reason why I was always told my bill had not been settled despite me knowing I have no more outstanding amount? Afterall, it cannot be possible that late charges and interests can roll over to so much if I have been making regular payments. If this is the way they function, I seriously worry about just how much I have paid and could not get back the extra amount I came up with!

Calendar Of (Arts) Events

I have missed so many great arts events that I wanted to close the year with one. Thus I was really lucky to be able to get last minute tickets to "The Nutcracker" tomorrow. I missed this the last time round so this time I want to watch it. Hope it will be good!

Having said that, I just booked tickets to "Cinderella" as well, for next year. It will be the first arts event I will see for the new year, right after I return. Since it is by Rodgers and Hammerstein starring Lea Salonga, I believe it will be great!

And this is coming! I can hardly wait! Finally, after so many years of waiting, I can finally watch this! And I was so lucky to get tickets for opening night since they have been mostly sold out! Hopefully CATS lives up to its hype!

A reminder to mark my calendar off for 17 December, 9 January and 10 April!

Playing Around With The English Language

This is one of the reasons why I love the English language!

1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

Obituary Of Common Sense

Got this from a friend which I find very true!

OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended the funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.

School Enrichment Modules

My time table is out! I will be starting school again after Chinese New Year! This time round, due to some revamp, I have lesser modules to take for the semester. Besides one general studies module, I have two minor enrichment modules. The other day my mum was asking just when am I going to finish my course? I wish I can get it over and done with as well, but is it my fault if the school has such a system?

Anyway, in the general studies module, I get to learn more on Art Appreciation, Poetry, Philosophy, History. More enjoyable! Plus, I will be taking an enrichment course on brain functions, mind mapping, creativity and innovation, speed reading (yes, I need that!). The course is mostly online with two sessions of tutorials, but the attendance is not compulsory, as long as we complete the online quizzes and assignments.

The next enrichment course is quite a surprise, as it is called “Thinking With Mathematics”. I cannot believe I have to take Mathematics again! After all the struggles with figures and formulas and the stress of figuring out differentiation, integration and logarithms, I thought I could finally throw it all aside after my ‘O’ levels and concentrate on what I am most passionate about!

At least the course is totally online. No face to face tutorials. It is essentially a practical course on basic formulas of Arithmetic Operations, Fractions, Percentage, Ratio and Proportion, Averages (mean, median and mode), Graphs, Area and Volume (Square, Rectangle, Triangle and Circle, thank goodness no Prism!), Patterns, Substitution, Scientific Notation, Problems and Review.

Sounds easy right? But for someone who has not done any real mathematics for, like, fifteen years, will take a while to get used to it all over again. At the end of the term, there will be an examination where all the topics will be tested and a score of at least forty percent has to be attained in order to pass. I must ensure I have to do well as everything counts towards the total GPA and if I screw one up, it brings down the total average and there goes my First-Class Honours!

Ten Dating Mistakes That Turn Women Off

I came across an article that talks about the ten dating mistakes which can turn off men. To be honest, these are just common sense. Anyone who knows how to behave will be able to adhere to it, one does not need an article to tell you what to do! Which got me thinking, what, then, are the ten dating mistakes that turn off women?

Based on my experience, I think I have enough to compile ten dating disasters that totally turn me off. Actually what turns men off are also what turns women off. I cannot speak for every woman of course because we are all made differently, but in general, these are a few pointers which I think as a woman, we will not like it if the guy we are seeing does it, especially on a first date. You may notice it is almost similar to what will turn a man off, only in a different context.

1. Talking too much about “Me, me me”.

Just like the article mentions, the man is not interested in how much one spends on the newest hairdo or a Louis Vutton bag, we are also not interested in how much the men spend on his newest car or gadget. Just like we are not interested in how much you are earning, or how many credit cards you have, how “rich” and “eligible” you are. It is for us to judge, not yourself.

So please, spare us from going on and on about how often you change your car, how much money you have and how good a life you have. Or how much more interesting your job is as compared to ours. The last thing we need is a show-off!

2. Making Comparisons.

Just like talking about marriage and whatnot on a first date is a no-no for men, it is the same for a woman. Please do not tell us the kind of ideal girl you have in mind to marry, or how many girls let you down, or how “high and mighty” and “materialistic” local girls are as compared to foreigners. It is only the first date, for goodness sake! And if you keep comparing, then why on earth are you out meeting us instead of the “beautiful and voluptuous foreign women” you adore so much?

3. Being a picky eater.

A woman does not like the man picking on his food all the time. I went out with a guy once who was only concerned with eating instead of making conversation, yet at the same time he kept criticizing the food, but still kept eating anyway. Are you there for the food or to really get to know someone?

4. Being late.

If it is fifteen minutes due to traffic conditions or work, that is fine. If you called before hand and said you are going to be late due to emergencies, that is fine. But if you just turn up late without any explanation or apologies, then that is quite impolite.

A guy asked me out once and he got my number. In the morning, he sent me a message saying how he was looking forward to meet me that evening. That evening, I was at the restaurant five minutes before time and he was late! I waited for fifteen minutes, and there was no sign of him! He had my number, yet he could not even send a message saying that he would be late!

Maybe to some, they might feel if they are going to be late, we could at least asked what happened. But the fact was that he asked me out and he was the one who was late, so why should I be the one to send him a message asking the reason why he was late when he could not even bother to let me know?

5. Too much emotional baggage.

This ties in with Point 2 above. When out with a new girl, especially one whom you are rather interested in, never compare her to what your ex was like before, or how good a time your ex had with you. I went out with someone once who told me I should be quieter and not talk so much, because his ex was the quiet and sweet type. I was so pissed after hearing that! Was he really thinking of knowing a new person, or just grabbing anyone and moulding her into his ideal kind of person like how his ex was?

6. “I’m Too Good For You”.

Never ever tell a girl she is not pretty enough, that she should dress up more, or carry herself with more grace, especially not on a first date! Strangely, it is those who are nothing much to look at in the first place who will criticize a person’s looks. Some of the better-looking ones take people more at their face value.

We cannot change our looks, so unless you yourself have the face of Narcissist and the body of Hercules, then do not scrutinize and look us up and down thinking you are too good for us! Chances are, we do take pains to dress up for the date, so cut us some slack even if we are not your ideal definition of “beauty”!

7. Always On The Phone.

This is also a big turn-off. I met a guy once and for the one hour or so we were having drinks, I could only get in five sentences as he was on the phone the rest of the time. For goodness sake, turn your phone silent or just ignore your calls! Yes, we do understand there may be work emergencies, then at least asked to be excused for a while and step away to answer the phone, rather than talking on the phone while facing us!

8. Coming On Too Strong.

If a girl agrees to go out with you for a meal and drinks, that does not mean she automatically wants to be in a relationship with you. No one gets into a relationship just after a first date, and definitely no one holds a guy’s hand or kiss him or wants to sleep with him just because she agrees to meet up with him!

So please do not ask how many people we have slept with or whether we get into one-night stands when we just met up for the first time! Also, do not call us or send us messages so many times a day and bomb us if we do not respond! Meeting up with you does not mean we allow you any leeway to misbehave!

9. Being too “touchy feely”.

As mentioned in Point 8 above, just because a girl agrees to go out with a guy does not mean she agrees to be pawed all over by him. Please do show some respect for us. We may be the female species, we may not have as strong urges as men, but still, we are not sexual objects to be displayed or touched whenever you fancy.

10. Not Being Yourself.

Just like how men can tell a “fake” right away, women can too. It is one thing trying to please, but it is another thing doing something you do not like and feeling too uncomfortable doing that! We rather you be yourselves, whatever you like and do not like, just do it as per normal. Do not need to put up a false front just to impress! Doing that will only show how low self-esteem you have, and that itself is a big turn off!

Workplace Survival

My best friend just came back from her European honeymoon and sent me some photos. She then asked about my job status, on whether I have found my “dream” job. Actually, there is no such thing as a “dream” or “ideal” job, because every job has its ups and downs. For instance, even if I get into my dream job of being a concert pianist or journalist, there are sure to be good times and bad times as well. Nothing is so smooth-sailing.

Being out in the corporate world really gets one exposed to things. Being in government sector is still somewhat sheltered, because even if civil servants get a bad appraisal, there will still be chances and counselling. Chances are, civil servants do not get fired so easily. Plus, the system is very structured, so for those who are used to it, they get rather comfortable and stay on for a long time.

The private sector, on the other hand, may seem more glamorous. The system is much less structured, but in this way, people learn. We have to get things done on our own instead of waiting for others to tell us things. And there is no such thing as counselling or chances, once you screw up badly, out you go. So it is really a matter of “do or die”.

Due to this, not many people who came from a statutory board or government background will be able to take it. They may find the system too messy for them. And some were horrified at the way staff get retrenched without any benefits, but that is the way private sectors function. Companies have the policy that “nobody owes you a living”.

Because of this, many people from the private sector are able to survive very well when they cross over to the government sector. To them, after facing all the challenges, headaches and politics in the private sector (not to say being in the government has no politics, there may be just as many or even more because people who have been sheltered are the most narrow-minded of the lot), going to the government sector is just a breeze. They welcome a more structured way of doing things.

But it depends on the individual too. I, for one, can never survive in the public sector. It is simply too bureaucratic, too much red tape, that at the end of the day, we spend all the time justifying our actions and what we do than actually doing things. Plus, there is no place for autonomy and creativity, as everything has to go through a proper system and channel.

At least being in the private sector can work on my own. Nobody cares how you do the job as long as the job gets done. You just need to keep your superiors in the loop on what is going on, unless it is a major case, otherwise most of the time you are on your own. And that is what I like, as for me, the results and end product matters more than the process.

Does it really matter if you do it the short-cut way rather than the actual long-winded way, as long as it is not legally and politically wrong? If everything has to go through a systematic process (which is not wrong), then lots of time will be spent on all kinds of unnecessary things which can actually be cut short by half!

I have learnt that in order to survive as an OL, one has to be broad minded, meticulous, resourceful, initiative, and most of all, confident. One must come across as being able to do things, rather than not knowing what to do. That is the difference between someone of a higher ranking and someone of a lower ranking.

The reason why people can rise up is because they do their work well, and not get too bothered by the petty trivial around. Plus, they are really sharp. For instance, if I bring in a document to our Chief Finance Officer, he can tell it is not the latest update just by one glance! Wow! That is really something! Imagine the amount of work he has to handle everyday, yet even a simple one page document never escapes him!

And that is what I aim for. To rise up amongst the ranks. To be a real professional executive, head a team of my own, have people work for me together, entails travelling and company reimbursement, and living an exciting life hobnobbing with all the big wigs and big shots. Maybe when that happens, I would have achieved my dream job. But for now, a dream is just a dream.

Travelling Light?

I am done packing! I cannot believe I managed to squeeze everything into one cabin bag – two trench coats, a couple of cashmere and angora cardigans, the Mango fur-lined suede jacket, several pairs of tailored pants and jeans, several woollen turtlenecks and knit tops, three sets of thermal underwear, vanity case (consisting of toiletries and makeup kits), three pairs of socks, an extra pair of gloves, chargers for phone, camera and laptop, towel, adapters and the biggest item – a big poncho / windbreaker of sorts for harsh weather.

I managed to zip everything up and did not even need to expand my luggage bag! That is a miracle! Besides that, I will also be bringing along a tote bag consisting of a woollen sweater, gloves, winter hat, wallet, keys, passport, laptop, digicam, mobile phone, lip balm and gloss, hand cream, lenses, glasses, sunglasses (just in case), eye drops, DVDs, Zen MP3, four books, and my Japanese-English dictionary, plus carrying another trench coat along. So there! Does that make me a light traveller since I only have to make do with one hand carry and one cabin luggage?

My mum is paranoid. She told me to just stay in the hotel room or in the transit lounge and not go anywhere. Hmmm… how can I not go anywhere in another country? Then I may as well stay home right? She said if I go to a café or lounge and is offered a drink, please reject. Or if I buy a drink, ensure I drink it all up before going to the washroom or anywhere else, not to leave my drink unattended. Or else I come back and not touch the drink anymore.

Hmmm… why does she think I do not know how to take care of myself? It is not the first time I travel! Alright, it is the first time I travel without anyone, but still, there will be people I will be with once I reach there, not like I will be totally alone throughout the whole journey! And why does she always think the worst of people, that everyone is out to frame me or get me into trouble?

The Threat Of Love (Part One)

Another Christmas (soon anyway). Christmas is the time to love. Like what is featured in “Love Actually”, at Christmas, you tell the truth. At Christmas, you just want to try and see if the person loves you back. And this Christmas, all I want for Christmas is …. Last year I got my Christmas wish only to be let down a day later, so this year, I am not going to wish for anything at Christmas, just hoping for a happy and peaceful Christmas ahead.

I always re-watch “Love Actually” during Christmas because it is such a heartwarming show, on love of all aspects. Being a movie, things seem so easy to click into place, which can never happen in real life, but still, it is good to watch a movie that deals with the different aspects of love (be it fulfilled or unfulfilled, self-sacrificing and lust) instead of the normal action and violent shows we have.

Lately, I have been re-watching a drama series called “The Threat Of Love”, both parts. This series features twenty short stories on the different aspects of love as well. The first part is more heart-warming as compared to the more humourous second part. Love in a cosmopolitan context and how people deal with it.

In Part One, the first story was about how a playboy pilot got a lady pregnant after a one night’s stand. She got dumped by her boyfriend who went overseas to work and got involved with a girl, so she regretted that she did not get pregnant so as to keep him by her side. Then when she really got pregnant after the one night stand, she told her ex-boyfriend and made it sound like it was his kid, but he made her terminate the pregnancy and she then dumped him there and then.

She decided to keep the baby because she said men will let her down, but her own child truly belongs to her. Somehow she met the pilot again and he found out about her pregnancy. So he moved into her place and said to bring the baby for a DNA test after he was born to ensure he really fathered the child. After moving in, he realized that it was not too bad living with her, and even though she disliked his irritating and irresponsible ways, somehow she started treating him as part of her family. At the end, after she gave birth, he realized he wanted to settle down and he said the words, “I love you” to both the mother and child.

First lesson : loving a person means wanting to settle down with her.

The second story was on a couple of migrants. The lady was raped on the way, and the guy, in order to protect her, was beaten up. Because they were migrants, they were not able to find proper jobs, so she ended up being a waitress, later a masseuse, and he ended up being a security guard, later a loan shark. However he still kept looking out for her.

She wanted to start over a new life, so accepted a matchmaker’s introduction to this foreigner who was looking for a wife, although it seemed more like he wanted a slave than a wife. When the loan shark found out, he gave her the money to offset the amount paid to the guy so she could redeem herself, but she refused. On the day of departure, she finally realized how much he meant to her and turned back, but unfortunately, he was beaten to death by a rival loan shark. She then lamented about how late it was for her anymore.

Second lesson : Love means always being there for the person, no matter what happens, especially when in need. Love means never having to say goodbye, and to cherish it when it is around, not regret when it is gone.

The third story was about how a henpecked pair of father and son-in-law won the lottery and did not let their wives know. Their wives controlled the purse strings so they did not have much money to spend, thus when they won the lottery, they quit their jobs and started spending in lavish, all the time not letting on.

However, their wives (the mother and daughter pair) misunderstood that they were fired from their jobs, so decided to pool out their savings to let them run a business. The men then felt guilty as they felt it was even rarer for a woman to give them money than for a man to give the money. So they decided to tell them the truth. Unfortunately, before they even said anything, the father was kidnapped and the ransom the total amount of the money won.

The son-in-law thus had no choice but to spill the beans. After paying the ransom, they found the father in a box, but turned out he talked and nagged so much that the kidnappers got so irritated that they let him go before the family paid the ransom. Needless to say, he hit the roof when he found out that his family paid the ransom, and in the end, both had to go back to work again.

The message of love was not that obvious here. The men thought their wives did not love them thus controlled them, but in the end, it was their wives who helped them out when they thought they were in trouble.

Third lesson : Love is not the passionate kind shown during happy times, but the support and commitment shown during tough times.

The fourth story is actually my personal favourite, on how a conservative father who favours his sons over his daughter, finally came to terms that not just one, but both his sons, are gays. The story also shows a close aspect of a homosexual relationship, that even though both are of the same gender, the love they show each other may be even deeper and better than the love between two persons of opposite gender. Even though they may never have kids, but they were willing to sponsor and adopt kids, and buy life insurance for each other to protect each other in the event one of them leaves the world earlier.

Fourth lesson : Love transcends genders, cultures and race.

The fifth story is on a mother, who gave her life for her children, only to raise three selfish and ungrateful children. They were supposed to have a stepfather, but he was thrown out of the house by the eldest girl, who hated him for horning into her family. The mother got struck with senile dementia, yet the children refused to believe and thought she was just gaining attention, until one day, she could not remember the way home.

It was only then that the eldest daughter went to find the mother’s old flame and begged him to come back and take care of the mother. He never did forget her as he still sent her birthday cards every year and still displayed her photos in his room, but the mother, in order to let him forget her, lied to him that she was re-marrying. It was only when the eldest daughter told the truth that he came back to see the mother in the end.

Fifth lesson : Loving someone does not mean needing to be with the person, but looking out for the person and wishing blessings and happiness on the person.

The sixth story is on a couple, after having been married for seven years, the husband was starting to itch. So when he met a young, bubbly, whiny girl, he felt on top of the world, because she made him feel needed. Hmmm… is that men’s ego for you, that he wants someone to want him? Yet why do men then dump a girl who is too clingy?

The wife suspected of course, because he has a sudden change in attitude towards her. She chose to remain silent about it until one day, when it was raining heavily and he was supposed to pick her up, he called to cancel because that little girl wanted him to pick her up. The wife caught the girl and her husband together in the car being rather close. Then the girl changed her mind and got out of the car and the husband then called the wife, saying he could pick her up after all.

When she got into the car, he apologized and gave the excuse that he was held up at work, but she just kept quiet. When she leaned over to him in the same position the girl did, he only remarked how wet she was and seemed rather irritated. The next day, the wife found the girl in their house, with her wrists slit. At the hospital, it was discovered that the girl was making use of the husband to get back at her ex, and she attempted suicide because of him too. So the husband realized he had been made a fool, and started being so loving to the wife, but she decided to wage a cold war on him until the end.

Sixth lesson : Maybe it takes a momentary diversion for someone to realize how much his spouse means to him? Love itself withstands everything, even momentary diversions. Love means forgiveness, that even if you suspect your partner is cheating on you, you still take him back in the end.

The seventh story touches on the aspects of a May-November romance, between an older lady and a younger man. She has an established career, money, her own place and car, whereas he is just starting out as a chef. To her, she takes the relationship very seriously, and she is not able to handle all the finger-pointing on why she is running around with a “little boy”.

So she started treating him coldly, hurting his feelings in the process. But he could not get over her, so started visiting her again. This time, they talked things through and he asked why did she not tell him all her fears? Somehow he managed to convince her he was true to her and she agreed to go with him overseas for a better job prospect.

Seventh lesson : Love transcends all ages and boundaries.

The eighth story touches more on true friendship and relationship between parents and children. The main character of the story is not a down-to-earth person. Instead of working and slogging his life away, he rather gets involved in “get rich quick” schemes, and takes chances on gambling and betting, except he never gets rich. Instead, he got into even more debt. His best friend normally has to bail him out and be his guarantor for loans, to the displeasure of his wife. His parents have to continue working and running a store to help him out.

One day, he went on board a ship and gambled, and won with a very lucky hand. So he managed to clear off all his debts, and just when he was about to gamble even more, his parents took away his credit cards and filed for bankruptcy on his behalf, so he had no choice but to help his parents out in their store until he paid back every single cent. The conclusion of the story is that perhaps, it is better to be down-to-earth and live a simple life, instead of thinking how to get rich quick.

Eighth lesson : Love can also be between friends, ie true friends will love you and be there for you no matter what happens.

The ninth story is also a rather touching one. A lady was bored with her marriage life as her husband is just a simple man without any romantic streak in him. She went on a business trip and met a photographer, who got inspired by her and started taking her portrait. They felt attracted to each other and started dining and dancing together. Then she had to go back home and told him the had to face reality and would never see each other again. When she went home, she went back to her mundane life, but was thinking of him all the time.

One night, her husband brought home a guest, and it happened to be the photographer. They used to be classmates. She panicked and could hardly concentrate the whole night. He requested for her to walk him down to hitch a cab, and he confessed how he hoped she would divorce her husband and go away with him. She then told him that they had a beautiful time, and even though he is so much better than her husband in every aspect, still, it was her husband who had been there for her through thick and thin, it was her husband who had shown his love in his own way, it was her husband who took care of her family. So even though she would always keep him in her mind, she could not leave her husband and forsake her whole family.

At the end, she chose her family over the guy she loved, and he went away, upset and alone. A year later, in an interview regarding one of his works, he said he had only loved one woman in his life, but unfortunately they met each other too late. The story ended off with her reading the article, listening to the song they danced to, and then she looked at her husband and smiled.

Ninth lesson : Memories of love are more than enough. Being committed means staying with the person, even if there is someone else better, because in the end, it takes more than love to sustain a marriage.

The last story is quite funny. It talks about how women go to extremes to stop a man’s roving eye. This lady’s husband had been teasing her about her boyish figure, thus she went ahead to get a boob job. However, her plan backfired because her husband, instead of being more attracted to her, actually got turned off, as he said she is not the wife he is used to, and it felt as if he is sleeping with a stranger. In the end, she re-did the operation and went back to normal.

Tenth lesson : If the man really loves you, he will accept you for who you are and not want you to change any part. Men look at voluptuous girls just like how women look at hunky guys, but the one they married will always be their one true love.

No Incentives For Motivation

I am upset! After slaving for another year, putting up with all the politicking and bouncing around, everyone is going to have a pay cut next year! Alright, the company is not doing well the last two quarters, although the first two quarters more than make up for it. Due to this, the top management is foreseeing potential losses next year, thus projects have been frozen, headcount has been frozen, bonuses have been frozen (even the Annual Wage Supplement and thirteenth month), and even salaries will be cut!

What is the point of slogging so hard if we are not going to get any benefits in the end? No doubt we go to a company not for the benefits, but still, if the employees have all worked hard for the year, should they not get a bit of a reward or incentive? This would make them more motivated and do even better the following year! If people are already disillusioned with their jobs, cutting pay and freezing bonuses are not going to help!

Just now, the Human Resource Personnel from the interview I went to on Friday, called me for a short chat. She asked me questions like give her examples on what kind of things I did that I am happy about, and any example on issues which I was pro-active and took initiative for and how others reacted to that.

Now just how am I supposed to answer those? If I talk about what I did for my work et al, I may be showing off. On the other hand, if I did not say anything, then people will wonder just exactly what I have been doing at work (which is what I often wonder myself). Then she asked the reason I am moving now, whether I am happy in my company, whether I prefer a structured or less structured place. Hmmm... tricky! In any case, she said she may set up another meeting with the Chief Finance Officer if need be.

I have always wanted to go to established companies, but it is hard to get in, as they have a few interviews to go through. In the past when I was interviewing for small firms, all I needed was to go see the person in charge, had a chat, and that was it. In a bigger firm, I had to see the person in charge, then take a written test (something like the law school entrance exam) and finally see the Human Resource Personnel before getting the job.

In my current company, I had the first interview with the Human Resource Executive, then an interview with the Head of Department, then a last interview with both of them where I was put to test reading Chinese documentations. Being in Human Resource is tough indeed!

In any case, I hope to get the job, as it means a new challenge, a pioneer for that company. And since I will not be getting any bonus or increment anyway, I do not need to continue holding on for anything, so if they offer me, I can tender immediately, then start work in January, with my Japan trip as part of the notice period. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Packing For Winter

Some time ago, Sumiko Tan wrote in her article that she can never understand how some people manage to look so good and perky even after travelling long distance overnight. She herself looks like a fright after an overnight flight. I share her sentiments too. In the first place, is it really feasible to be dressed in a trench coat, knee-length boots and sunglasses, with hair in place and makeup in tact, and not a single thread out of place after sitting down in a plane on a red eye flight?

Movies and dramas always show how glamourous people look after a long plane trip but that is just a show. Chances are those people never did take a plane overnight, and they went to shoot the scene after makeup and hair artists worked on them. Plus there are lots of touch ups after that, so people will look glamourous on screen.

In real life, can this really be the case? It is hard to be really comfortable on a plane, and I, for one, can never get much shut eye even if it is a night flight. With tossing and turning and having the seat belt on most of the time, I will normally emerge out of a plane with my hair in a mess and dark circles under my eyes.

Thus I go for comfort rather than fashion. I wear my most comfortable track suit and walking shoes. With the narrow aisle and small leg room in an Economy seat, it is madness to wear high heels or boots. Makeup for me is a necessity as the cabin air dries up my skin, thus I go for large servings of moisturizers and lip glosses anytime, but after a meal, drinks and a few hours on a plane, my makeup comes out looking distorted rather than immaculate.

Which is why I am having quite a headache packing for my Japan trip. The temperature ranges from less than ten to below zero, so whatever long-sleeves and coat I normally wear and bring to temperate countries will not suffice, as there is a big difference in temperatures above zero and below zero. This time round, I need cashmere and wool. No dresses or skirts, only pants. Even jeans may not help.

Luckily I managed to find some thermal pants which can help if my legs need to keep warm. I will just have to wear a pair of normal pants or jeans over them. As for the top, in order not to be wrapped up like a dumpling, I have to wear cashmere or wool. Luckily, I have a couple of cashmere sweaters and my mum loaned me some wool cardigans and turtlenecks.

Thus, I will be wearing mostly turtlenecks and pants, with the fur-lined suede jacket I bought in Mango a few years back, and perhaps a trench coat. Shoes wise it will be a pair of normal boots, suitable for snow walking. As for my vanity case, I am putting in extra moisturisers and stronger creams, so as not to start peeling while overseas, especially in winter. Now I only hope it will be easy to walk about with all those clothes on!

Magic ....

Not The Gathering, but the science of illusion. Today, I was one of ten volunteers from my company to chaperone a group of children to the Science Centre for a free and easy tour as well as a magic show. It had been so long since I last went to the Science Centre, in fact, the last time I went there was about two years back when I went for the Star Wars Exhibition. Thus, I am astounded at the number of changes the Science Centre has.

We reached the Science Centre about ten in the morning, and were given a group of kids. There were three volunteers per group, and my group consisted of five teenage girls about eleven to thirteen years. It is livelier to be with younger kids because on one hand, even though they irritate the hell out of you with their endless questions, on the other hand, their innocence is absolutely charming!

They will stick with you and follow you around and just listen to your instructions obediently, whereas older kids have a mind of their own, so I ended up following the girls around instead! Still, there are all obedient and not kick up too much fuss when we had to gather all of them together.

The magic show was at noon, so there was some wandering around before that. I brought the girls to the display of Human Body, Virus, Sound Waves, Ultrasound systems, etc, before we sat down for a thunderbolt display and the magic show after that. It reminded me of my own school days where there were trips to the Science Centre almost every year! If I remember, my parents used to order the "Young Scientist" magazine for me and signed me up as a member of the Science Centre, but I did not utilise what I learnt from there. :-p

The highlight of the trip was the magic show. It was a young magician and he is really good! The tricks and illusions he displayed captivated even the adults, let alone the kids! I seriously wonder how he did all those tricks? But then again, a magician will never reveal the tricks of the trade, although I daresay once we learn the tricks, we would realise that the illusions were really nothing much to be in such a hype about!

Lunch was McDonald's (what else?), so I had my fill of Filet O Fish and apple pie. Since we were volunteers, transport and lunch was provided by the organisers. After lunch, we distributed gifts to the kids. At least they went back happy, and I went back happy too! A worthwhile day indeed, time off from work, hanging out with kids and making others happy at the same time, not to mention free entry into the Science Centre and a spectacular Magic Show. What can be better than this?

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Installing A Husband

Something cute my friend sent me.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

Restlessness ....

I have no idea what came over me lately. I feel so restless! I am not inclined to do anything at all! I managed to dig out my Japanese-English dictionary last night so had to practice a bit before I fly off. This trip to Japan should be a very exciting one for me to look forward to, yet I am not in the mood to do anything at all!

It is not as if I am unhappy or upset. In fact, I have not felt anything for ages. I just feel like lounging on my bed, lying down and not do anything. What a waste of time, I know! Yet I cannot help it. Somehow I just do not feel like doing anything!

Is it possible I am going through a dry spell? I thought I have taken enough time off to think about what I need to do, where I need to go, in certain aspects of my life. The truth is, I have thought about things yet I have not found any solutions whatsoever on what is needed to be done!

Maybe it is almost the end of another year, and I feel my age catching up. Seriously. To some people they may view me as still young, but to many others, I am not that young. Most people my age are already highly successful in many aspects, be it career, love, family, education, finances. For me, almost every aspect seems to be in a mess!

The thing is when in the past my mum would compare me to people who are always smarter and with much better grades, I used to hate it. I used to ask her why could she not just accept perhaps I am just not that smart, and besides, there are many others who scored worse than me. She then retorted that why must I compare myself to those worse than me instead of those better than me, then I will never strive to improve?

I used to turn a deaf ear, but now I finally know what she is talking about. Now I strive to be better, to achieve like those who are better than me, instead of comparing to those who are worse off. There are many others who are worst off, just like there are many others who are better, but it is the attitude and mentality that counts. If I do not aim to be better, then I will only be stuck where I am, never to improve, and perhaps those who are not as good may then catch up with me one day.

I have said many times about love (or the lack of) in my life, so it is best not to repeat myself. Still, I cannot help but feel sometimes whether is it really my own problem that I am not able to find someone? The thing is I have seen how "bitchier" girls get a very loving guy who is willing to do everything for her, and how she orders the guy around, I feel so bad for the guy! For instance, someone I know will insist on her boyfriend carrying her handbag for her. And when he refused, she just threw the bag down and walked off, and the poor guy immediately picked up her bag and ran after her.

Plus when she did not respond to his messages or calls, he would panic and call her and ask if she was angry with him, otherwise why not answer his calls? No one has ever placed me in such high esteem before, neither do I expect it of anyone. And I for one will definitely not even dream of doing that to a guy, because he is a human too, so if I like someone to respect me, I will treat him with the proper respect as well.

So why is the timing always so bad for me? Why is it when I finally meet single, intellectual, decent and highly eligible men who actually show me the proper respect and give me the proper recognition and not treat me as some sex object, it is always the wrong timing, ie either he does not have that kind of feelings or I do not have that kind of feelings, even though we will settle down once that one special person comes along, except the person is not either of us on either part?

I know I have to be patient and wait, but honestly at times, I really feel my patience wearing thin. All my prayers seem to be unanswered. In moments of frustration, I wonder at times if God has forsaken me, whether is He fair, because if He is, then why do all kinds of things happen to me and all kinds of good things happen to others?

Leading On Or Wrong Perception?

Some people are so funny. I went out with a guy to this cosy place several weeks back. I must admit, the ambience of the place is pretty nice. With dim lighting and candlelight, it makes for a great and romantic place to dine. I will sure recommend it to any couples on a special occasion.

Hence, I shared with him what I felt about the place. He then asked me how I would like my wedding to be like. To me, it was just making conversation, so I told him how my dream wedding would be like. After that, since we were unable to hitch a cab, he called his parents down and gave me a ride home.

It was just a first outing with a new friend, an innocent dinner and conversation session. He is okay, but not really my type. Alright, I only went out with him once, but from the various conversations we had before we met up and after we met up, we are not of the same frequency. One knows these things.

In any case, what was really shocking was he assumed I am interested in him and now trying to come on too strongly. So I asked him how did I ever give him this impression? He said because I mentioned the restaurant is a nice place for lovers and I told him about how I would like to get married, and did not mind him asking his parents to give me a ride back.

Erh.. actually I mentioned the restaurant is a good place for lovers because it is a nice and cosy place, perfect when going out with that special someone. That does not mean I take him as anyone special! And I told him how I would like to get married because he asked me, so I shared my views! That does not mean anything as well!

Furthermore, when we left, it was late at night, so calling a cab would be very expensive. And since he lives near me and insisted he wanted to give me a ride, I thought it made sense if his parents were willing to come down, instead of spending money on a cab! That was it! Nothing much! And he was the one who suggested asking his parents to come down, I did not say anything!

So why would he think otherwise? Or maybe it is my problem all along? That I think too much, or perceive too much? That I lead people on? In any case, my childhood friend just told me to stop being so picky last week when I sent him a birthday greeting. Maybe I am too picky, maybe I should just stop looking and go with anyone who shows interest. But on the other hand, why should I compromise especially if it affects my lifelong happiness?

Road To More Knowledge And Intelligence

It is official! I will be going to Japan! I will be flying off on twenty-third December to Tokyo and coming back on sixth January, which means I will be having a white Christmas for the first time in my life! Yeah! Japan will be good, especially winter, but my real fantasy Christmas is a white Christmas in Europe, surrounded by medieval buildings steeped in history and culture, sitting by the fire in a wooden house and enjoying the fireplace. Still have yet to make this fantasy come true, but I hope to do that one of these days!

It is the rainy season again! Cool winds blowing, drizzling for the whole day, the kind of weather where I just feel like sleeping in and not going anywhere! Nevertheless, I went to meet my friends at this Chinese restaurant called "Wah Lok" in Carlton Hotel. The place serves really delicious "dim sum", one of the nicest I have ever eaten! So we spent an afternoon chatting and it was only today I realise just how inadequate I really am! Okay, I already know I am inadequate and still have much room for improvement, but listening to my friends chat about issues at large make me realise how "small" my world really is! I really need to read more!

This was one of the few times I actually kept quiet in a group conversation! Normally I will be the one chatting with others and people had no idea what I was saying, and it got quite frustrating sometimes when one realise just how shallow some people can be. But today I am the one keeping quiet. Just as well, I can take a break and just listen! Being around highly intelligent and successful people is really different!

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Jobs Craving

In every interview I go to, the interviewer will always ask about my career objectives and goals, what do I want, what do I foresee five years from now. In the past, I would say just get a comfortable job where I can do well in. Now I realise that answer is so shallow. Everyone yearns for a comfortable job, but just how comfortable, it differs from people to people. Some people are pretty comfortable in a mundane job, doing the same thing day in day out. Some people crave for more, and are more comfortable with challenges.

Now I will answer, I crave for challenges. I want a job that can stimulate me intellectually, that can give me a good exposure, that is a good learning ground. Now I crave to be like those high fliers who deal with regional stuff, who travel extensively for work, talking and liaising with all the big wigs. This is not just intellectually challenging, but also a very good eye-opener because when one is overseas, one gets exposed to operations one would otherwise not get exposed to locally. That really widens one's horizons.

You can tell who are those who travel extensively for work. I am not saying all are like that, but normally these are those who have a wide knowledge, who have the drive and motivation, who are highly confident and capable enough to talk to just anyone on the streets. Those years of "moulding" through overseas job exposures make them like this. Their perception of life in general is very different. I guess one must have that kind of mentality and calibre in the first place in order to even do the job!

This is the kind of job I crave for, and hope to achieve one of these days. The training and exposure will definitely exceed any other job I have ever been in! Alas, I know myself, I am probably not at that level as yet to be able to do a job like that, which is why I can only be stuck in mid-ranked executive or professional jobs, and have people turn their noses at me all the time or bounce me around as if I am a football! Hopefully I can have an opportunity to shine soon!

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Arrogance Or Unapproachable?

What a few days it had been! End of the year, so audit season! As usual, I get quite bewildered at people who have no common sense or do not even bother reading! The document is right in front, all one needs to do is to flip it or scan through it and the answer is right there. Yet I get bombarded with calls asking about justification of this and that when all the terms are in the documents! Can people please read before asking?

Not to mention that due to cost saving, the company is undergoing some kind of restructuring. Thus, some departments will be consolidated, some overseas operations will be merged, so employees get redistributed and take on a new portfolio. We are not even going to have a bonus and increment! Even those European and American car makers are freezing bonuses and pensions! How can anyone freeze a person's pension? How is he going to retire in peace if there is no pension?

I have realised why some are able to rise and some are not able to. For instance, when I talk to a staff more junior than me, he / she will always have no idea what it is I am saying. Then when I go straight to the supervisor in charge, the supervisor is able to give me the information instantly. Maybe that is the difference between someone higher ranking and someone lower ranking. Having said that, there are those with their noses high up in the air, thinking because they are high ranking, they can only mingle with those same rank and above, and not even treat those lower ranking as in existence.

For instance, many lawyers I know are like that. They talk only to lawyers, or practitioners. They never talk to anyone who is a non-practitioner, thus even if the secretaries or executives know the work, they never bother talking to them. Luckily the practitioners I have been working and liaising with are pretty alright. They talk to anyone and everyone, not just someone of the same rank. There is a head of department in my company who is just like that. He never talks to anyone lower ranking than him. Of course, he has to talk to his own staff and the key personnels like the personal assistants to the big bosses. Other than that, he never talks to anyone lower ranking.

Thus when I needed to talk to him to answer a query, I am not able to talk to him. I have to go through his secretary. And then he will tell his secretary to let me know. Then when the document was ready for his approval, I had to go through his secretary. And I indicated to give the document back to me after approval as it was my case, but he bypassed me and gave it to one of the managers because she is higher ranking even though it is not her case. And she has to then pass the whole thing back to me, and wondered why someone gave her my case in the first place! Why not do the easy way and just come to me instead of going through all these channels?

Now, do I have some kind of allergy shield or virus that put people off? If so, then please do let me know! Is it not better to just come straight to the relevant person than passing messages around? Even the Managing Director himself comes to me if he needs information on a case I am working on, instead of asking his secretary to convey the message or anyone else! If the Managing Director himself has no qualms talking to me when he out-rank me by at least four ranks, then why would any head of department, who out-rank me two ranks the most, not willing to talk to me?

Having said that, the interview I went to on Tuesday was not successful, citing reason that even though they like my work experience and knowledge, they feel my character is not suitable. Hmmm... in what sense? That I am too loud? Or I get edgy under stress? I went for another interview today, with the Chief Financial Officer himself. Even someone like him, who kind of runs the whole company on his own, is willing to talk to me, I do not see why others think twice about approaching me! In any case, if the interview goes well today, it will be a new challenge and an exciting role because I will be there to set up the whole department! See how that goes!

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The Shawshank Redemption

I finally watched this show after getting the disc for two years and hearing about it for the past decade or so! Next show I must watch is "Atonement"! Anyway, it (the former) is a really good movie! This is one of the few stories by Stephen King that is not in the horror genre (this and the Green Mile), and I must say, it is pretty well scripted.

The similarity to the Green Mile (which I watched a few years back as it was starring Tom Hanks) is that both took place in prisons. The difference is that Shawshank is on prison life whereas Green Mile is more on the story of the wardens for prisoners on Death Row. In any case, Shawshank is about how one prisoner changed the life of the other prisoners for the better.

Due to his background in banking and his plans, he managed to generate a healthy sum of "income" for the warden and one of the officers, so when he had a chance to prove his innocence, the warden, for fear that their money-making schemes would become known, had the informer killed and the prisoner kept in solitary confinement.

When he was released, he accepted his fate on the surface, but he disappeared the next day, escaping with a suit, his prized possessions he kept in his cell, and emerged as someone different and withdrew all the money which the warden asked him to keep. The overall message is not to give up hope even if all hope was gone, and there is always a way to beat the system and bring the right people to justice!

This show was nominated for Best Picture the year Forrest Gump won. Morgan Freeman won the Best Supporting Actor for his role. Apparently, Tom Hanks was initially considered for the lead role, but he turned it down due to Forrest Gump, which somehow boosted his career, as now there can never be anyone else who can play Forrest Gump to perfection. Just imagine if he had taken this role, would Shawshank win Best Picture and he still win Best Actor?

Another Interview (And Condolences)

I have clinched two interviews this week, both clinical research companies in the pharmaceutical and biomedical industries. I just went for one, which I think should stand a chance, as it was a lively chat with the interviewers. The post is for a Contracts Specialist, supporting the Clinical Specialist Manager, and Clinical Research Assistants in the Asia-Pacific region. If I get it, it will really be a totally different field, with new challenges, hopefully intellectually and mentally! No longer do I want just another mundane job doing the same things again!

I will be going to another one on Friday. That is the one I am more interested in, as the job scope is in line of what I am doing right now, albeit with a more Asia-Pacific perspective. What I like about it is that there is no legal team as yet as everything is outsourced, so if I go, I am starting a new team from scratch! Now that is something else altogether! It is definitely a much more exciting role!

In any case, I just heard news that our spa in Mumbai was destroyed, and two of our staff died on duty. How sad! So my company has set up a Condolence Fund and asking for donations for the family. Imagine how fragile life really is! One minute you may be enjoying yourself, the next a shell may just land on top of you!

It could have been any of my friends, especially those who travel extensively for work! Who knows, the next person may just be me, when I travel along the bus or train and something just blows up in my face. I shudder to think what will happen when that happens!

Finishing Up The Year Smoothly ....

Is it December already? Gosh, how did the year go by? And what happened during the year? All of a sudden, I wondered how in the world did I not notice it is almost the end of another year? It is like time goes by in the flashiest of flashest. I notice something else too – I have been officially single for a year! More than that, if you count those couple of fiascos the previous year, but what I mean is that I have not been exclusively seeing anyone for the past year!

The advantages are : no problems with men (as in no need to put up with them as how one has to put up with them when in a relationship), no getting pissed off at guys who declare they want to be in a relationship then later get cold feet just when you get interested, no form of commitment and being tied down, and having the freedom to do whatever I want at whichever time I like, and of course, being able to go out with just anyone I like without needing to report to anyone else!

The disadvantages are : no problems with men (you know what I mean!), no sense of belonging to anyone, no common topics nowadays whenever I meet up with my married friends (they now go for Robinsons sale for household ware, can you believe that?! when in the past they would shop only at designer stores for clothes or jewellery!), no one to turn to whenever I need comfort and a confidante, and being dateless sometimes as could not find anyone to hang out with.

Still, the year has flown by pretty quickly, with ups and downs (more downs as usual), happiness and sadness, but generally in a happier state as compared to before. The turn-of-the-decade year. At least this year my career is pretty smooth, despite the politicking around. Family wise, friction here and there (as usual) but also better as compared to previous years.

Just another month to go to finish up this year, and looking forward to another new year ahead, with new hopes and dreams! Last year, I had a good Christmas, but within a matter of days, everything started tumbling, and I started the year depressed. This year, hopefully I have a good Christmas and an even better new year ahead!