I came across an article that talks about the ten dating mistakes which can turn off men. To be honest, these are just common sense. Anyone who knows how to behave will be able to adhere to it, one does not need an article to tell you what to do! Which got me thinking, what, then, are the ten dating mistakes that turn off women?
Based on my experience, I think I have enough to compile ten dating disasters that totally turn me off. Actually what turns men off are also what turns women off. I cannot speak for every woman of course because we are all made differently, but in general, these are a few pointers which I think as a woman, we will not like it if the guy we are seeing does it, especially on a first date. You may notice it is almost similar to what will turn a man off, only in a different context.
1. Talking too much about “Me, me me”.
Just like the article mentions, the man is not interested in how much one spends on the newest hairdo or a Louis Vutton bag, we are also not interested in how much the men spend on his newest car or gadget. Just like we are not interested in how much you are earning, or how many credit cards you have, how “rich” and “eligible” you are. It is for us to judge, not yourself.
So please, spare us from going on and on about how often you change your car, how much money you have and how good a life you have. Or how much more interesting your job is as compared to ours. The last thing we need is a show-off!
2. Making Comparisons.
Just like talking about marriage and whatnot on a first date is a no-no for men, it is the same for a woman. Please do not tell us the kind of ideal girl you have in mind to marry, or how many girls let you down, or how “high and mighty” and “materialistic” local girls are as compared to foreigners. It is only the first date, for goodness sake! And if you keep comparing, then why on earth are you out meeting us instead of the “beautiful and voluptuous foreign women” you adore so much?
3. Being a picky eater.
A woman does not like the man picking on his food all the time. I went out with a guy once who was only concerned with eating instead of making conversation, yet at the same time he kept criticizing the food, but still kept eating anyway. Are you there for the food or to really get to know someone?
4. Being late.
If it is fifteen minutes due to traffic conditions or work, that is fine. If you called before hand and said you are going to be late due to emergencies, that is fine. But if you just turn up late without any explanation or apologies, then that is quite impolite.
A guy asked me out once and he got my number. In the morning, he sent me a message saying how he was looking forward to meet me that evening. That evening, I was at the restaurant five minutes before time and he was late! I waited for fifteen minutes, and there was no sign of him! He had my number, yet he could not even send a message saying that he would be late!
Maybe to some, they might feel if they are going to be late, we could at least asked what happened. But the fact was that he asked me out and he was the one who was late, so why should I be the one to send him a message asking the reason why he was late when he could not even bother to let me know?
5. Too much emotional baggage.
This ties in with Point 2 above. When out with a new girl, especially one whom you are rather interested in, never compare her to what your ex was like before, or how good a time your ex had with you. I went out with someone once who told me I should be quieter and not talk so much, because his ex was the quiet and sweet type. I was so pissed after hearing that! Was he really thinking of knowing a new person, or just grabbing anyone and moulding her into his ideal kind of person like how his ex was?
6. “I’m Too Good For You”.
Never ever tell a girl she is not pretty enough, that she should dress up more, or carry herself with more grace, especially not on a first date! Strangely, it is those who are nothing much to look at in the first place who will criticize a person’s looks. Some of the better-looking ones take people more at their face value.
We cannot change our looks, so unless you yourself have the face of Narcissist and the body of Hercules, then do not scrutinize and look us up and down thinking you are too good for us! Chances are, we do take pains to dress up for the date, so cut us some slack even if we are not your ideal definition of “beauty”!
7. Always On The Phone.
This is also a big turn-off. I met a guy once and for the one hour or so we were having drinks, I could only get in five sentences as he was on the phone the rest of the time. For goodness sake, turn your phone silent or just ignore your calls! Yes, we do understand there may be work emergencies, then at least asked to be excused for a while and step away to answer the phone, rather than talking on the phone while facing us!
8. Coming On Too Strong.
If a girl agrees to go out with you for a meal and drinks, that does not mean she automatically wants to be in a relationship with you. No one gets into a relationship just after a first date, and definitely no one holds a guy’s hand or kiss him or wants to sleep with him just because she agrees to meet up with him!
So please do not ask how many people we have slept with or whether we get into one-night stands when we just met up for the first time! Also, do not call us or send us messages so many times a day and bomb us if we do not respond! Meeting up with you does not mean we allow you any leeway to misbehave!
9. Being too “touchy feely”.
As mentioned in Point 8 above, just because a girl agrees to go out with a guy does not mean she agrees to be pawed all over by him. Please do show some respect for us. We may be the female species, we may not have as strong urges as men, but still, we are not sexual objects to be displayed or touched whenever you fancy.
10. Not Being Yourself.
Just like how men can tell a “fake” right away, women can too. It is one thing trying to please, but it is another thing doing something you do not like and feeling too uncomfortable doing that! We rather you be yourselves, whatever you like and do not like, just do it as per normal. Do not need to put up a false front just to impress! Doing that will only show how low self-esteem you have, and that itself is a big turn off!
Based on my experience, I think I have enough to compile ten dating disasters that totally turn me off. Actually what turns men off are also what turns women off. I cannot speak for every woman of course because we are all made differently, but in general, these are a few pointers which I think as a woman, we will not like it if the guy we are seeing does it, especially on a first date. You may notice it is almost similar to what will turn a man off, only in a different context.
1. Talking too much about “Me, me me”.
Just like the article mentions, the man is not interested in how much one spends on the newest hairdo or a Louis Vutton bag, we are also not interested in how much the men spend on his newest car or gadget. Just like we are not interested in how much you are earning, or how many credit cards you have, how “rich” and “eligible” you are. It is for us to judge, not yourself.
So please, spare us from going on and on about how often you change your car, how much money you have and how good a life you have. Or how much more interesting your job is as compared to ours. The last thing we need is a show-off!
2. Making Comparisons.
Just like talking about marriage and whatnot on a first date is a no-no for men, it is the same for a woman. Please do not tell us the kind of ideal girl you have in mind to marry, or how many girls let you down, or how “high and mighty” and “materialistic” local girls are as compared to foreigners. It is only the first date, for goodness sake! And if you keep comparing, then why on earth are you out meeting us instead of the “beautiful and voluptuous foreign women” you adore so much?
3. Being a picky eater.
A woman does not like the man picking on his food all the time. I went out with a guy once who was only concerned with eating instead of making conversation, yet at the same time he kept criticizing the food, but still kept eating anyway. Are you there for the food or to really get to know someone?
4. Being late.
If it is fifteen minutes due to traffic conditions or work, that is fine. If you called before hand and said you are going to be late due to emergencies, that is fine. But if you just turn up late without any explanation or apologies, then that is quite impolite.
A guy asked me out once and he got my number. In the morning, he sent me a message saying how he was looking forward to meet me that evening. That evening, I was at the restaurant five minutes before time and he was late! I waited for fifteen minutes, and there was no sign of him! He had my number, yet he could not even send a message saying that he would be late!
Maybe to some, they might feel if they are going to be late, we could at least asked what happened. But the fact was that he asked me out and he was the one who was late, so why should I be the one to send him a message asking the reason why he was late when he could not even bother to let me know?
5. Too much emotional baggage.
This ties in with Point 2 above. When out with a new girl, especially one whom you are rather interested in, never compare her to what your ex was like before, or how good a time your ex had with you. I went out with someone once who told me I should be quieter and not talk so much, because his ex was the quiet and sweet type. I was so pissed after hearing that! Was he really thinking of knowing a new person, or just grabbing anyone and moulding her into his ideal kind of person like how his ex was?
6. “I’m Too Good For You”.
Never ever tell a girl she is not pretty enough, that she should dress up more, or carry herself with more grace, especially not on a first date! Strangely, it is those who are nothing much to look at in the first place who will criticize a person’s looks. Some of the better-looking ones take people more at their face value.
We cannot change our looks, so unless you yourself have the face of Narcissist and the body of Hercules, then do not scrutinize and look us up and down thinking you are too good for us! Chances are, we do take pains to dress up for the date, so cut us some slack even if we are not your ideal definition of “beauty”!
7. Always On The Phone.
This is also a big turn-off. I met a guy once and for the one hour or so we were having drinks, I could only get in five sentences as he was on the phone the rest of the time. For goodness sake, turn your phone silent or just ignore your calls! Yes, we do understand there may be work emergencies, then at least asked to be excused for a while and step away to answer the phone, rather than talking on the phone while facing us!
8. Coming On Too Strong.
If a girl agrees to go out with you for a meal and drinks, that does not mean she automatically wants to be in a relationship with you. No one gets into a relationship just after a first date, and definitely no one holds a guy’s hand or kiss him or wants to sleep with him just because she agrees to meet up with him!
So please do not ask how many people we have slept with or whether we get into one-night stands when we just met up for the first time! Also, do not call us or send us messages so many times a day and bomb us if we do not respond! Meeting up with you does not mean we allow you any leeway to misbehave!
9. Being too “touchy feely”.
As mentioned in Point 8 above, just because a girl agrees to go out with a guy does not mean she agrees to be pawed all over by him. Please do show some respect for us. We may be the female species, we may not have as strong urges as men, but still, we are not sexual objects to be displayed or touched whenever you fancy.
10. Not Being Yourself.
Just like how men can tell a “fake” right away, women can too. It is one thing trying to please, but it is another thing doing something you do not like and feeling too uncomfortable doing that! We rather you be yourselves, whatever you like and do not like, just do it as per normal. Do not need to put up a false front just to impress! Doing that will only show how low self-esteem you have, and that itself is a big turn off!
1 comments:
You are a dating expert, thanks, I learn lots about when reading, and I know the signs that a girl Is attracted to you.
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