Lilypie

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Lessons From Politicians

After the eulogy to our dear Minister Mentor's wife, I have been thinking through some issues. First of all, he is a great man, with a great wife. This is a model couple for everyone. Those interviewed had only wonderful things to say about her, on how she is always thoughtful, caring and considerate to everyone, on how she is a great friend and a wonderful person.

Their partnership in marriage and career seems so perfect. He met her more than sixty years ago, and was attracted to her because she was smarter than him. He married her because she was more capable. She was the one who edited and proof-read his memoirs and speeches. He was not threatened by the fact that she was more capable than him. In fact, the reason he chose her was because she could be the sole breadwinner for the family while he concentrated on his political career.

I remember the advise he gave, "Marry someone your equal or better, so your children can be better." In a way, it is like passing down good genes. I suppose his sons took that advise, because his daughters-in-law are very smart, capable and powerful women in their own rights. More men should take this advise, instead of being threatened that the woman is better or more powerful than him.

In fact, a capable woman will only benefit a man. Our politicians are good examples. Just like one of our late Presidents. His wife was also smart and capable, but also his companion and his confidante. He was also very upset when his wife passed on, during his last few months of presidency.

These are men who are not only smart, capable and powerful, they are great leaders and mentors whom we can look up to. Yet at the same time, they love their wives and families, and have no qualms showing their love to their wives and families. They epitomise the beauty of marriage, commitment and partnership.

How many of us can be like this? Chances are, we run away in times of trouble. We chose the person we want to marry, yet when things do not turn out well, we blame each other and run away. How many women have been repressed by men because men feel threatened over a capable woman?

When is men ever going to believe that a smart, capable and powerful woman can be a good wife and mother too, yet at the same time balance her career and family? Why do men assume that if a woman is capable, she will lord over him and control him and call the shots?

Marriage is a partnership after all. There is no one who should be "better" than the other. It is how both parties work together to get along, to be each other's best friends, soul mates, confidantes and companions.

We should take a leaf out of our politicians. They run the country, yet at the same time realise that the fundamental root of anybody is to have a happy family. After all, if one cannot manage one's family life, how to run an entire country?

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