I always tell myself I need to get a grip. Stop thinking too much, especially about unnecessary things. But I cannot help it. Try as I might, I simply cannot stop my mind wandering, which results in making myself unhappy.
Not good I know, but I guess for someone who lives more on the heart than the head, it is inevitable my mind starts to sway. My feelings and emotions control me more than my brain, which will be rather unhealthy in the long run.
Nowadays I feel so much more attached to him. I do not know whether it is because after certain things we went through, I feel more connected to him than before, or is it because we are no longer working in the same company, so our chances of meeting have decreased so drastically.
Maybe I took for granted when we were still in the same company. We got to see each other everyday. I saw him in the canteen, on my way to the canteen, I took the same transport so I could see him and talk to him, even if it was only for half an hour a day.
But at least we could talk to each other face to face, and I could enjoy his company. Others may disagree, but I believe I am more easily satisfied than most girls. As long as I could see him, even if it was only for a few minutes a day, I am happy.
But now that we are no longer in the same company, somehow I feel a bit more lost and lonely. Where we used to see each other practically everyday, now we only see each other once a week.
At times when I miss him and asked him out to try my luck, he would be busy or too tired after work. I cannot blame him for being busy or tired as he is a human after all, not a machine, but I cannot help the way I feel – disappointment that I miss him so yet cannot see him.
I also feel sad that he is depressed over some things, yet does not wish to share with me. He told me once he did not wish to burden me, but I want to share his burden, and be there for him when he is sad.
When this happens, I will get upset over myself, wondering if I have done something wrong that he does not trust me enough to open up to me. I can understand he does not wish to burden me with his problems, but I really wish to be his pillar of support and go through all ups and downs with him
Then my mind will start to wonder whether he still loves me, still cares for me, still want to be with me. I know it is not healthy thinking of that, but perhaps now I am still trying to get over my depression, I will be extra sensitive to things around me. And I will like him to be with me through my darkest moments more than anything else.
Not good I know, but I guess for someone who lives more on the heart than the head, it is inevitable my mind starts to sway. My feelings and emotions control me more than my brain, which will be rather unhealthy in the long run.
Nowadays I feel so much more attached to him. I do not know whether it is because after certain things we went through, I feel more connected to him than before, or is it because we are no longer working in the same company, so our chances of meeting have decreased so drastically.
Maybe I took for granted when we were still in the same company. We got to see each other everyday. I saw him in the canteen, on my way to the canteen, I took the same transport so I could see him and talk to him, even if it was only for half an hour a day.
But at least we could talk to each other face to face, and I could enjoy his company. Others may disagree, but I believe I am more easily satisfied than most girls. As long as I could see him, even if it was only for a few minutes a day, I am happy.
But now that we are no longer in the same company, somehow I feel a bit more lost and lonely. Where we used to see each other practically everyday, now we only see each other once a week.
At times when I miss him and asked him out to try my luck, he would be busy or too tired after work. I cannot blame him for being busy or tired as he is a human after all, not a machine, but I cannot help the way I feel – disappointment that I miss him so yet cannot see him.
I also feel sad that he is depressed over some things, yet does not wish to share with me. He told me once he did not wish to burden me, but I want to share his burden, and be there for him when he is sad.
When this happens, I will get upset over myself, wondering if I have done something wrong that he does not trust me enough to open up to me. I can understand he does not wish to burden me with his problems, but I really wish to be his pillar of support and go through all ups and downs with him
Then my mind will start to wonder whether he still loves me, still cares for me, still want to be with me. I know it is not healthy thinking of that, but perhaps now I am still trying to get over my depression, I will be extra sensitive to things around me. And I will like him to be with me through my darkest moments more than anything else.
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