My brother asked me an interesting question the other day, "How do you know you merely like a person, and how do you know it is love?" Hmmmm... hard to answer. And he asked me of all people. Does he not know my history, how I always infused like into love?
I think after all these years, I have more or less differentiated mere like with deep love. If you like someone, you will want to be with the person, you will want to do things to make the person happy, you will want to enjoy his company.
But liking someone is on the surface, very superficial. You like a person, you will want to keep talking to the person, you will want to bring him to see your friends and family members, you will want to hang out together. That is about it.
But when like develops into love, that will be when you want to spend your life with the person. You will want to take care of him, be there for him. Your heart will palpitate each time he calls, each time he messages. You will want to read his messages over and over again, remember every word and never get tired of them.
You cannot wait to see him, or be in his arms. You want more than anything for him to give you a hug, an embrace, a shoulder to cry on. He will be the first person you think of when you awake, and the last person you think of before you go to bed. You will want to wake up next to him. You will want him to be the first person you see when you open your eyes in the morning.
You will accept whatever he does, however different he is. You will want to have his children, raise kids together, grow old together. And if you are separated for whatever reason, it hurts like hell, as he will always be in your mind, and you miss him so much that you cannot wait for the time when you lay eyes on him again.
You will want to be there for him, through happiness and sadness. You will be happy when he is happy, sad when he is sad, hurt when he is hurt. And even when there are difficulties like financial woes, family woes, you will still be willing to stand by him and support him through everything, brave the storms together.
And that is love. Not just mere hand-holding or physical intimacy, but real, deep, committed love. And this applies to guys as well, not just girls. I used to think I was in love in the past, but in the end all I had were just feelings of like, especially in my last two relationships. I liked the guys a lot, but those feelings never developed into love. Instead they became stagnated and faded even.
Love normally occurs if both parties like each other so much that one day they realise they want to be together, and the feelings just happen. These happen only when both are so comfortable with each other, they are such great friends that it becomes so natural to get together. Needless to say, love occurs only when the couple has reached the stage of deep liking for each other, not just on a superficial level.
I guess in one's life time, there will be many people whom one likes, but probably only one or two whom one loves. And for the love to occur, it is perhaps only those God-chosen ones for one to love and for the other to love back. One day he / she may just wake up and realise that all of a sudden, he / she want to spend the life with this person. Then that is truly love.
I think after all these years, I have more or less differentiated mere like with deep love. If you like someone, you will want to be with the person, you will want to do things to make the person happy, you will want to enjoy his company.
But liking someone is on the surface, very superficial. You like a person, you will want to keep talking to the person, you will want to bring him to see your friends and family members, you will want to hang out together. That is about it.
But when like develops into love, that will be when you want to spend your life with the person. You will want to take care of him, be there for him. Your heart will palpitate each time he calls, each time he messages. You will want to read his messages over and over again, remember every word and never get tired of them.
You cannot wait to see him, or be in his arms. You want more than anything for him to give you a hug, an embrace, a shoulder to cry on. He will be the first person you think of when you awake, and the last person you think of before you go to bed. You will want to wake up next to him. You will want him to be the first person you see when you open your eyes in the morning.
You will accept whatever he does, however different he is. You will want to have his children, raise kids together, grow old together. And if you are separated for whatever reason, it hurts like hell, as he will always be in your mind, and you miss him so much that you cannot wait for the time when you lay eyes on him again.
You will want to be there for him, through happiness and sadness. You will be happy when he is happy, sad when he is sad, hurt when he is hurt. And even when there are difficulties like financial woes, family woes, you will still be willing to stand by him and support him through everything, brave the storms together.
And that is love. Not just mere hand-holding or physical intimacy, but real, deep, committed love. And this applies to guys as well, not just girls. I used to think I was in love in the past, but in the end all I had were just feelings of like, especially in my last two relationships. I liked the guys a lot, but those feelings never developed into love. Instead they became stagnated and faded even.
Love normally occurs if both parties like each other so much that one day they realise they want to be together, and the feelings just happen. These happen only when both are so comfortable with each other, they are such great friends that it becomes so natural to get together. Needless to say, love occurs only when the couple has reached the stage of deep liking for each other, not just on a superficial level.
I guess in one's life time, there will be many people whom one likes, but probably only one or two whom one loves. And for the love to occur, it is perhaps only those God-chosen ones for one to love and for the other to love back. One day he / she may just wake up and realise that all of a sudden, he / she want to spend the life with this person. Then that is truly love.
2 comments:
Love is, like most things, subjective.
It may even have some relation with the effect from the Schrödinger's cat experiment.
(i.e. the state of love may or may not exist depending on whether anyone is observing it.)
Haha, to a certain extent, there is a relation to the cat experiment.
However, love itself is a feeling. It is subjective, ie only the person who is feeling the love can determine how true it is. And when the feeling comes, one will know.
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