I hate myself, seriously really hate myself. I thought it was such a wonderful feeling being detoxed and purged of all negativity. In the end, I only created a barrier around myself to prevent myself from getting hurt, and that makes me emotionless, superficial and come across as being insincere.
Honestly, I never thought I will say this, but I prefer myself in my old emotional state. At least I was able to feel more, to care more, to be more in tuned with my deepest emotions. Now, all I come across as is superficial and unreal, without even realising it.
I never meant for things to be this way. I want to remain positive no matter what happens. I want to be guarded to protect myself and others from hurting me. But I never ever want to stop feeling, or stop caring. The last thing I ever want is for others to be hurt due to my actions.
Now that the year is coming to an end, I will resolve to be myself again, to be more in tuned with my deepest emotions, and start caring and feeling again, breaking down the barrier instead of remaining so emotionless. I have to improve and I will improve.
Honestly, I never thought I will say this, but I prefer myself in my old emotional state. At least I was able to feel more, to care more, to be more in tuned with my deepest emotions. Now, all I come across as is superficial and unreal, without even realising it.
I never meant for things to be this way. I want to remain positive no matter what happens. I want to be guarded to protect myself and others from hurting me. But I never ever want to stop feeling, or stop caring. The last thing I ever want is for others to be hurt due to my actions.
Now that the year is coming to an end, I will resolve to be myself again, to be more in tuned with my deepest emotions, and start caring and feeling again, breaking down the barrier instead of remaining so emotionless. I have to improve and I will improve.
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