It had been two sleepless nights. There were simply too many things on my mind. In fact at the time of this entry, my house is still dark as everyone else is still sleeping. To be really shallow, I never expected to be so lucky in every sense of the word, but on a more serious note, it is time I stop being frivolous and start being focused on what I really want out of life.
Yet all of a sudden, I seem to have lost my direction in life. Things were good and smooth sailing on Christmas, I thought for once I can make a resolution and stick to it, but now somehow I have lost my direction. My resolution was geared towards something, towards a better future, but that is now non-existent.
Come to think of it, am I really such a bad person? Someone so unlikeable or unlovable? Or perhaps I really am resigned to not being able to find the right person. The thing is that I know what I want and what I do not want.
I want a perfect fit, but I also know that there is no perfection, as nobody is perfect. So the only thing is to find the best there is and then adapt and resolve differences along the way via communication and tolerance.
I am looking for my ideal husband, but at the same time I know that I need not even set out any criteria because if the guy is really true to me, he will become the ideal person without even needing to fulfil anything.
People say I am not that old, but truth be told, I am not that young as well. Like what my best friend and I both agreed on, it is the time to be choosy and selective and not go with just any mere person, which is why I am discerning in what I want and look for. A pity in most cases the feeling is not mutual.
My mum, my cousin, my best friend, even my brothers especially, are so worried for me. They are worried I will be left on the shelf as age goes by. My mum said she hopes I can find a good match within these couple of years and settle down, then she can at least set her heart at ease.
I know perfectly well this is not something to crave for as when the time comes, things will happen naturally. The question is, do I have long to wait? Time is not really on my side anymore as I plan to settle down and have a family by the stipulated deadline I set myself.
Meanwhile, I have two more days until the end of the year to sort out my thoughts and see which direction to head, and to make a resolution to stick to it. It is time to be more focused indeed.
Yet all of a sudden, I seem to have lost my direction in life. Things were good and smooth sailing on Christmas, I thought for once I can make a resolution and stick to it, but now somehow I have lost my direction. My resolution was geared towards something, towards a better future, but that is now non-existent.
Come to think of it, am I really such a bad person? Someone so unlikeable or unlovable? Or perhaps I really am resigned to not being able to find the right person. The thing is that I know what I want and what I do not want.
I want a perfect fit, but I also know that there is no perfection, as nobody is perfect. So the only thing is to find the best there is and then adapt and resolve differences along the way via communication and tolerance.
I am looking for my ideal husband, but at the same time I know that I need not even set out any criteria because if the guy is really true to me, he will become the ideal person without even needing to fulfil anything.
People say I am not that old, but truth be told, I am not that young as well. Like what my best friend and I both agreed on, it is the time to be choosy and selective and not go with just any mere person, which is why I am discerning in what I want and look for. A pity in most cases the feeling is not mutual.
My mum, my cousin, my best friend, even my brothers especially, are so worried for me. They are worried I will be left on the shelf as age goes by. My mum said she hopes I can find a good match within these couple of years and settle down, then she can at least set her heart at ease.
I know perfectly well this is not something to crave for as when the time comes, things will happen naturally. The question is, do I have long to wait? Time is not really on my side anymore as I plan to settle down and have a family by the stipulated deadline I set myself.
Meanwhile, I have two more days until the end of the year to sort out my thoughts and see which direction to head, and to make a resolution to stick to it. It is time to be more focused indeed.
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