Planning A "Retirement"

The weather is making me feel a little under the weather. After the cool climate last week, the weather is becoming warmer. Today feels hot. The sun is shining again and everywhere is bright. Come to think of it, I can never imagine life without sunshine. It is sunshine that makes everything beautiful.

My parents are away touring the south of China, so it is up to me to take charge of the household again. Being a housekeeper is not all cut out to be, especially since one gets accused of being bossy when one is just following instructions.

Come to think of it, is it better to be the bad guy or the good guy? Good guy by following instructions yet incurring the dislike and unpopularity of others, or bad guy by not following instructions yet being popular.

I was reading some of my older entries, and realise that for the past couple of years, I have been an emotional wreck. It is mostly a question of being the good guy or the bad guy. How often have I been the good guy but gained unpopularity, yet at the same time, I believe in saying as it is instead of being hypocritical.

One can show all the good facade, portraying a beautiful and impressive image, but that is not real. On the other hand, I have been criticised, rather harshly sometimes, by saying what I did, but that is real. And the reality of life is like that - full of ups and downs, happiness and sadness.

I can choose to portray everything that is good and happy, but that will not be real. My life itself is full of ups and downs, happpiness and sadness. I know I am living a much better life than many others, but everyone has his / her own share of good times and bad times. I choose to portray the good and the bad together, because that is part of me.

While reading through my past entries, I realise that there are many things which I should have and should not have done. At that point in time, I was too emotionally-swayed to really think things through objectively. Now upon looking back and in a more objective frame of mind, I cannot believe I felt that way or done those things.

But one learns, is it not? How many people do not have a past? I have a clean enough record at least, never been in jail, never smoke or take drugs or gamble, never bought any lottery. At least I have learnt not to be too emotional and think with my head instead.

I have learnt that ever since getting cheated by a certain someone, and I have learnt that all the more ever since my Malta and United Kingdom trip. Now that it is almost the end of the year, I hope to start the new year on a clean slate, being able to have a simpler life without much troubles.

My friend who got me started on blogging has officially retired his blog. I wonder if it is because of his recent change in status? Many times I want to retire this blog too, because now that my life has stabilised and I am no longer that emotionally swayed, I think it is time to embark on a new journey.

However, somehow I cannot stop myself writing. So perhaps I will make it a new goal. The day I get married will be the day when I officially retire this blog. Because that will be the day when I really embark on a new phase in life.

At this rate, I guess I have to continue writing for a long while more. But one never knows, is it not? Never say never, who knows by this time next year I could be married? I am being very optimistic and hopeful here.