In the past couple of years, I have known of at least three couples who split up then got back together. All in all, I have known six couples who split up then got back together. Some people may say they treat relationships as a joke, ie splitting up, then getting back together.
Actually it all boils down to fate, is it not? At least my parents will blame it on fate, that people who are meant to be will still be together, even if they have split up.
For me, I have never been that lucky (or unlucky, whichever way one sees it). The only person I ever thought of getting back with never gave me a second glance, and the people whom I never ever want to be involved with again somehow asked me if I would give a second chance.
I used to think that if a couple splits up, that is it. After all, it must have been the worst decision to make for a couple to split up. They must have really serious problems, otherwise, generally, people would choose to hold on and try to keep things going.
Some people do not even want to remain friends with their exs. For me, I do not mind remaining as friends. In fact, I am still very close friends with my third ex (whom I now consider as one of my best friends - we still confide in and tease each other), and still in touch with my second ex.
Most of my friends are of the opinion that once a couple split up, they should not even remain in contact. Why not actually? Not being together does not mean the end of a friendship. They must be really good friends to begin with before they became a couple, and it will be a pity to end a friendship just like that.
Yet there are those who split up, went back to friends, and got back together again. Some may view them as playing a relationship game (got together because both felt like it, then split up because they ran into problems, then got together again just because they felt like it again and so on).
But then who are we to say anything unless we are the couple in question? In a relationship, anything can happen. I believe most people enter a relationship because they want things to work out. Because they love the person enough to want to be committed to the person as a boy / girlfriend, as a future partner. So who wants to have a heartbreak and get into such a depressed state?
But because in a relationship, the level of closeness a couple shares is much more intense than what a mere friend, even a close friend, will share. For instance, there are things which I can only share with my boyfriend (if I have one) and not just a friend.
A friend can be one to share your interests, to hang out with, to talk about your dreams and visions with, but once the friend progresses to a boy / girlfriend stage, he / she then shares your life, and not just your interests and time. He / she accepts the entire package of you - your family, your friends, your religion, your values. Which is why similar goals and values are so important in a relationship.
But also because a couple is in a relationship, they get to see the negative traits in each other, sides which most friends will never be able to see. They get to see each other's tempers, quirks and peculiarities. And because of that, they may end up flaring up at each other more often.
In a relationship, the expectations of each other are higher. Each will expect the other to accommodate and compromise, and that often is the cause of conflicts, especially when a relationship is just starting, or a newly married couple. There have to be give and take on both sides in order to remain on amicable terms.
Maybe because of that, many couples end up quarrelling over trivial matters which can be resolved one way or other. And when the quarrels became more frequent, more conflicts ensue, and in the end, the couple breaks up just like that.
Yet at the end of the day, months or years later, when both have cooled down and time had healed all wounds, they may just look back and realise that many things can be compromised, and to lose a soulmate is really a big pity, and thus decide to give another chance to each other.
In most cases, when a couple gets back together, chances are the relationship is stronger than before. They learnt from their mistakes and ensure they never lose the chance again. A few of my friends who got back together with their exs end up marrying them.
Perhaps it is true that true love and a real deep relationship has to go through problems before it can survive? It is like only when one had lost someone, he / she then realised that the person meant a lot to him / her. Given another chance, they will cherish and never let go again.
After all, if the couple is able to survive and grow from this, their love may just be stronger than before. Perhaps then and only then, they are truly fit for each other and nothing can ever break them apart again.
Actually it all boils down to fate, is it not? At least my parents will blame it on fate, that people who are meant to be will still be together, even if they have split up.
For me, I have never been that lucky (or unlucky, whichever way one sees it). The only person I ever thought of getting back with never gave me a second glance, and the people whom I never ever want to be involved with again somehow asked me if I would give a second chance.
I used to think that if a couple splits up, that is it. After all, it must have been the worst decision to make for a couple to split up. They must have really serious problems, otherwise, generally, people would choose to hold on and try to keep things going.
Some people do not even want to remain friends with their exs. For me, I do not mind remaining as friends. In fact, I am still very close friends with my third ex (whom I now consider as one of my best friends - we still confide in and tease each other), and still in touch with my second ex.
Most of my friends are of the opinion that once a couple split up, they should not even remain in contact. Why not actually? Not being together does not mean the end of a friendship. They must be really good friends to begin with before they became a couple, and it will be a pity to end a friendship just like that.
Yet there are those who split up, went back to friends, and got back together again. Some may view them as playing a relationship game (got together because both felt like it, then split up because they ran into problems, then got together again just because they felt like it again and so on).
But then who are we to say anything unless we are the couple in question? In a relationship, anything can happen. I believe most people enter a relationship because they want things to work out. Because they love the person enough to want to be committed to the person as a boy / girlfriend, as a future partner. So who wants to have a heartbreak and get into such a depressed state?
But because in a relationship, the level of closeness a couple shares is much more intense than what a mere friend, even a close friend, will share. For instance, there are things which I can only share with my boyfriend (if I have one) and not just a friend.
A friend can be one to share your interests, to hang out with, to talk about your dreams and visions with, but once the friend progresses to a boy / girlfriend stage, he / she then shares your life, and not just your interests and time. He / she accepts the entire package of you - your family, your friends, your religion, your values. Which is why similar goals and values are so important in a relationship.
But also because a couple is in a relationship, they get to see the negative traits in each other, sides which most friends will never be able to see. They get to see each other's tempers, quirks and peculiarities. And because of that, they may end up flaring up at each other more often.
In a relationship, the expectations of each other are higher. Each will expect the other to accommodate and compromise, and that often is the cause of conflicts, especially when a relationship is just starting, or a newly married couple. There have to be give and take on both sides in order to remain on amicable terms.
Maybe because of that, many couples end up quarrelling over trivial matters which can be resolved one way or other. And when the quarrels became more frequent, more conflicts ensue, and in the end, the couple breaks up just like that.
Yet at the end of the day, months or years later, when both have cooled down and time had healed all wounds, they may just look back and realise that many things can be compromised, and to lose a soulmate is really a big pity, and thus decide to give another chance to each other.
In most cases, when a couple gets back together, chances are the relationship is stronger than before. They learnt from their mistakes and ensure they never lose the chance again. A few of my friends who got back together with their exs end up marrying them.
Perhaps it is true that true love and a real deep relationship has to go through problems before it can survive? It is like only when one had lost someone, he / she then realised that the person meant a lot to him / her. Given another chance, they will cherish and never let go again.
After all, if the couple is able to survive and grow from this, their love may just be stronger than before. Perhaps then and only then, they are truly fit for each other and nothing can ever break them apart again.
0 comments:
Post a Comment