I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple of days. I had been both lucky and unlucky on the two brief occasions this year, that I got to meet really eligible and wonderful single guys who share my interests, attitudes and values and whom we can potentially go further with, but then either the feelings were not there or our characters just clash.
Come to think of it, when was the last time I was in a real relationship? Not that it is a good thing or that I am noting a memoir of how many relationships I have had and failed, but I really miss the feeling of being in a real relationship. Not counting the "fake" one where I was involved with a certain fellow whose status is ambiguous.
The only real relationship I consider would be the one where I almost married the guy. Because both of us gave a lot into the relationship, gave our time, our commitment, and time to our families. That was the relationship that was really set to go somewhere, but then ....
The thing is that I never had a guy who is into my family as well as into me, so I really yearn for that kind of relationship where the guy is nice to my family and extended members. He will join me in my family gatherings, help out my parents and family members, nice to my friends.
For instance, if we go travelling, he will drive us to the airport and see us off, and receive us when we return. If I am to have a family gathering, he will come along and help out in the food or other things. Or if a close friend has a housewarming or party, he and I will be there early to help out, with no questions asked.
This applies on my part too. I will blend in with his family members, offering to cook and help out during mealtimes, go out with them, clean the place for them. When they go travelling, I will see them off and receive them. I will help out at his family and friends' gatherings.
I miss the feeling of walking along the beach hand in hand, sitting on the breakwater just leaning against each other, or playing tennis and sweating together, or just holding hands in the cinema or theatre. I miss the feeling of a peck on the cheeks or lips, hugging and kissing someone whom I have very strong feelings for and vice versa.
Mostly, I relish the feeling of selecting and getting a place of our own, picking out furniture and decorating the place together, experiencing life together as a partnership in one. Someone I want to live with, cook for, keep the house for, go home to, sleep with (not in that sense in case your thoughts are running wild!) and bring up children with.
Yes, I miss and relish all those feelings. The last time I ever had feelings like these was way back in 2002. Since then, I have wasted enough time and energy meeting the wrong kinds of people, which is why I am now in this state.
I am not going to be in another futile relationship. When I say relationship, it is not a mere just seeing each other and trying out, but a confirmed relationship that will end up in marriage. I am getting tired of all the "wrong signals" I have received (and perhaps given).
I no longer have the energy to keep trying out and seeing how things go, because if things do not go anywhere, it is another tiring process altogether. Which is why I need to be very selective in meeting the right kinds of people.
No longer will I continue meeting people who may in the end not be potential. I will only agree to continue seeing someone if it is a mutual feeling that we can carve a beautiful future together. I am keeping my hopes high that the one right person will enter my life soon!
Come to think of it, when was the last time I was in a real relationship? Not that it is a good thing or that I am noting a memoir of how many relationships I have had and failed, but I really miss the feeling of being in a real relationship. Not counting the "fake" one where I was involved with a certain fellow whose status is ambiguous.
The only real relationship I consider would be the one where I almost married the guy. Because both of us gave a lot into the relationship, gave our time, our commitment, and time to our families. That was the relationship that was really set to go somewhere, but then ....
The thing is that I never had a guy who is into my family as well as into me, so I really yearn for that kind of relationship where the guy is nice to my family and extended members. He will join me in my family gatherings, help out my parents and family members, nice to my friends.
For instance, if we go travelling, he will drive us to the airport and see us off, and receive us when we return. If I am to have a family gathering, he will come along and help out in the food or other things. Or if a close friend has a housewarming or party, he and I will be there early to help out, with no questions asked.
This applies on my part too. I will blend in with his family members, offering to cook and help out during mealtimes, go out with them, clean the place for them. When they go travelling, I will see them off and receive them. I will help out at his family and friends' gatherings.
I miss the feeling of walking along the beach hand in hand, sitting on the breakwater just leaning against each other, or playing tennis and sweating together, or just holding hands in the cinema or theatre. I miss the feeling of a peck on the cheeks or lips, hugging and kissing someone whom I have very strong feelings for and vice versa.
Mostly, I relish the feeling of selecting and getting a place of our own, picking out furniture and decorating the place together, experiencing life together as a partnership in one. Someone I want to live with, cook for, keep the house for, go home to, sleep with (not in that sense in case your thoughts are running wild!) and bring up children with.
Yes, I miss and relish all those feelings. The last time I ever had feelings like these was way back in 2002. Since then, I have wasted enough time and energy meeting the wrong kinds of people, which is why I am now in this state.
I am not going to be in another futile relationship. When I say relationship, it is not a mere just seeing each other and trying out, but a confirmed relationship that will end up in marriage. I am getting tired of all the "wrong signals" I have received (and perhaps given).
I no longer have the energy to keep trying out and seeing how things go, because if things do not go anywhere, it is another tiring process altogether. Which is why I need to be very selective in meeting the right kinds of people.
No longer will I continue meeting people who may in the end not be potential. I will only agree to continue seeing someone if it is a mutual feeling that we can carve a beautiful future together. I am keeping my hopes high that the one right person will enter my life soon!
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