I was supposed to be asleep, but a sudden surge of inspiration caused me to jump out of bed, so here I am, on my bed, penning down my thoughts. And rather distorted thoughts, come to think of it. I wanted to post something earlier, but I needed some time to mull over certain things that transpired and a certain conversation with someone, which caused me to retreat into my inner self and think of things again. Yes, I know I am not making any sense, but it just happens to be one of those times where I have too many things on my mind and just need to blabber a bit.
As the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side. Somehow the person I met on Sunday managed to see through me. Pretty astute, but then, considering the kind of job he does, I guess he does have a practice seeing through people. He said that I really know what I want and I am someone with high expectations, so maybe he is not the kind of person I am looking for. Hmmmm... now how does he know that? On the other hand, it is hard to assess a person after just one meetup, unless the person is a real prick and makes others totally not want to associate with him anymore.
Anyway, the thing about the grass being greener on the other side, is that, being single, I admit I do envy couples, especially happy couples who are willing to commit to each other, whether in terms of a long-term relationship or marriage. And couples who managed to find each other after so many false starts. However, those that are attached will somehow envy me, that I can do anything I like at anytime I like, go out with anyone I like, without needing to account to anyone.
Well... being free and independent is good, but it comes to a stage where one feels really lonely, especially now that my best friend is busy with her wedding plans, and my peers are either married or getting married or attached, so most of the weekends I am left to fend for myself. Weeks back when I had my studies to occupy myself with, things were not too bad, but now that I am on a term break, I suddenly realise my weekends will be so empty and boring if I do not happen to meet up with people.
Having said that, I am currently leading a happy life just being single. Alright, I believe most will think otherwise considering how emotional I can get when it comes to affairs of the heart, but I have never said being single is an unhappy thing, even though in my more emotional moments, I do yearn to have a partner to share things with, pour out my woes to. But being single is better than being attached to the wrong person, being spared from all the emotional drainage and trauma that comes with being attached to the wrong person and problems in a relationship, not to mention having people who can turn themselves on and off so suddenly and play with one's feelings.
But then a person can only bounce around that much. There will be a time when it is time to settle down. Settling down does not mean not enjoying life or cutting off from the pleasures life can offer, it just means finding the right someone to be with, do things with and share with. I am definitely not swearing off relationships, and if and when the time is right, I will probably lose my head and my heart again. At times I wish I can have someone in my life, sharing my life, but I know things will happen only at the right time, so all I have to do is to be patient and wait for the time.
As the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side. Somehow the person I met on Sunday managed to see through me. Pretty astute, but then, considering the kind of job he does, I guess he does have a practice seeing through people. He said that I really know what I want and I am someone with high expectations, so maybe he is not the kind of person I am looking for. Hmmmm... now how does he know that? On the other hand, it is hard to assess a person after just one meetup, unless the person is a real prick and makes others totally not want to associate with him anymore.
Anyway, the thing about the grass being greener on the other side, is that, being single, I admit I do envy couples, especially happy couples who are willing to commit to each other, whether in terms of a long-term relationship or marriage. And couples who managed to find each other after so many false starts. However, those that are attached will somehow envy me, that I can do anything I like at anytime I like, go out with anyone I like, without needing to account to anyone.
Well... being free and independent is good, but it comes to a stage where one feels really lonely, especially now that my best friend is busy with her wedding plans, and my peers are either married or getting married or attached, so most of the weekends I am left to fend for myself. Weeks back when I had my studies to occupy myself with, things were not too bad, but now that I am on a term break, I suddenly realise my weekends will be so empty and boring if I do not happen to meet up with people.
Having said that, I am currently leading a happy life just being single. Alright, I believe most will think otherwise considering how emotional I can get when it comes to affairs of the heart, but I have never said being single is an unhappy thing, even though in my more emotional moments, I do yearn to have a partner to share things with, pour out my woes to. But being single is better than being attached to the wrong person, being spared from all the emotional drainage and trauma that comes with being attached to the wrong person and problems in a relationship, not to mention having people who can turn themselves on and off so suddenly and play with one's feelings.
But then a person can only bounce around that much. There will be a time when it is time to settle down. Settling down does not mean not enjoying life or cutting off from the pleasures life can offer, it just means finding the right someone to be with, do things with and share with. I am definitely not swearing off relationships, and if and when the time is right, I will probably lose my head and my heart again. At times I wish I can have someone in my life, sharing my life, but I know things will happen only at the right time, so all I have to do is to be patient and wait for the time.
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2 comments:
Excellent attitude. I only hope that you do not end up not trying out relationships in fear of being attached to the wrong person. Even happy couples are not happy all the time, as it is with single people.
Hi, thanks for dropping by! True, couples are not happy all the time, so its the commitment that matters, to want to see things through no matter what happens.
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