Starting To Age ...

During the Valentine's Gala dinner, there was a photographer taking photos of the attendees. I just went to collect the photo today. And I must say, despite looking almost my best that day, the photo turned out otherwise.

First impression is that I seem to have aged a lot! And not mistaking the chubbiness, despite having lost eight kilograms in the past couple of years. Plus, I look haggard and listless, even though I was smiling brightly! Much different from the photos taken just a year back!

No wonder people say when a woman reaches a certain age, she tends to really start ageing, and her photos do not look that good anymore, even though she may still look physically good. Prints really bring out all the worst in someone - they bring out fine lines, dark eye circles and a general haggard look, even though one may look anything but in real life!

Oh no! Have I started ageing too? Are all my lotions and potions, the facials I go to, useless? It is sad indeed that a woman's youth is just so limited! How to compete with the younger ones who look pretty both in real life and on print? So how can anyone blame any woman for spending oodles just to maintain themselves and prevent ageing?

Blood Suckers!

For some reason, there seems to be an influx of mosquitoes at my area lately. There have always been mosquitoes, except lately, the numbers seem to have increased. Nowadays, I can never go to sleep without some buzzing sound around my ears, or waking up without bumps and swells!

I seriously hope there is no outbreak of dengue if this goes on!

He's Just Not That Into You ....

One of the more realistic shows I have seen. Come on, how many times we girls came across a relatively pleasant and decent guy and we did not mind pursuing the friendship, but the guy was not interested yet we mistook his signals to be otherwise?

How many times we delude ourselves and gave excuses that maybe he is busy, maybe he lost the number, maybe he is in a meeting, yadda yadda, without facing the obvious fact that he is just not interested?

How many times we let ourselves be "bullied" and treated without due respect from the men, thinking that was how men show their care and concern, without facing the blatant truth that they are just being jerks? I can so relate to the show!

The movie revolves around five women and four men. The show started off with Gigi, on a blind date with Connor. She thought everything was going well since he did not cut the date short and offered to get drinks after that. Then when they parted, he said he had fun and it was a great evening. Gigi took that to mean she could pursue something further, so eagerly anticipated that he would call.

It did not help that her female co-workers told her that he would call. So after waiting for weeks without any trace, including calling him and leaving messages without any response, she decided to "bump" into him at a pub which he said he frequented. That was where she met Alex, who happened to be Connor's best friend, and they started a friendship where he gave her tips on how to read guys' signals, and she would call him for advise each time she got confused over certain signs guys displayed.

However, when he asked her to a party at his house with the idea that she might meet single men, she misinterpreted that he was interested in her, and volunteered to co-host the party with him. A misunderstanding where he wanted to introduce her to a friend resulted in the friend being no-show and he himself turned up, led her (and her co-workers) to believe he was interested.

So she took the initiative after the party, but he told her she had been misinterpreting his signs all along. In the end, she was so embarrassed that she gave him a telling to and stormed out of his house. However, Alex suddenly felt empty and realised that without Gigi calling him ever so often, he could hardly focus on what he was doing. That was when he realised he had fallen for her except he did not wish to admit it.

Thus, he did the one thing he advised her on - that if a guy did not call, he would never call, but if a guy is really into a girl, he would do anything just to see her. So he went to her place in the middle of the night with some trumped up excuse, and this time, they started officially.

Gigi's co-workers are two ladies called Janine and Beth. Janine was with her husband (cannot remember his name but he looked so stone and expressionless throughout the show) since college, and they got married only because she gave him the ultimatum - get married or break up. And he obliged, even though he was not ready.

After marriage, he felt unhappy. He started smoking again, he missed his carefree life, he bumped into a hot babe (Anna) at a grocery stall but when she gave him her number, he had to tell her he was married so he could not go around taking girl's numbers. Yet he could not get her out of his mind.

Neither could Anna, so they started an affair. Connor (Gigi's date) was actually sort of dating Anna, and obviously he was more interested in her than in anyone else, but she was the one who was blowing him off. After she met Mr Stony the married man, she stopped seeing Connor altogether.

Anna wanted to be a singer and Mr Stony worked for a production company (I think), so he promised to help her in her career. One day, they came back from the studio where the producer liked her voice and song, and she was so excited that they went to his office and wanted to make love when Janine knocked on his door.

Prior to that, he confessed to his wife that he slept with someone. Although she was hurt, she knew their marriage had cracks so decided to forgive him and gave him another chance. So she came by his office to offer herself to him. He had to hide Anna in the closet, but she heard the lovemaking he and his wife were doing.

When Janine left, Anna came out of the closet in tears and told Mr Stony never to touch her again before storming out of his office (in her red lingerie, no less!). She then called Connor for some sex, and he took the opportunity to initiate a relationship. She agreed, but after that, she regretted.

The next morning, Conner showed her a house he was planning to buy for her, but she rejected. In the end, she went off to India for some Yoga retreat, and to discover herself by deciding to be alone and not be involved with anyone for the time being.

Anna had a friend Mary who works in an advertising firm. Anna recommended Conner to Mary who published an advertisement for him. They had never seen each other face to face, although Mary came across his photo while publishing his advertisement. The only contact they had with each other were through emails and phone calls.

Mary tried online dating, but she was complaining to Anna that modern technology spoiled things as things got sent to blackberries, office emails, personal emails, texting on mobile phones, online social portals, et al, and by the time she got through with all the gadgets, she had been dumped by seven different technologies! She much preferred the old days where there was only one phone and one answering machine!

One day, Connor, trying to recover from being dumped by Anna, sat down in a cafe on his own. Mary happened to be sitting a few tables away, facing him. Coincidentally, his new advertisement just came out. She was looking at the advertisement when she looked up and saw him! So she called him and told him where she was, then went over to join him for coffee, and by the end of the show, they were a couple.

Back to Mr Stony. His wife had him thrown out in the end and they divorced. His best friend is Noah, who had been cohabiting with Beth (also Gigi's co-worker) for seven years. Beth is the third of four daughters. Her two elder sisters had married. Then she received an invitation to her younger sister's wedding, and all of a sudden, she felt she wanted to shift the relationship with Noah a little.

Noah's rationale was that they were both in love, both in a solid relationship, so why should they get married, as even married couples might not last as long as them? However, Beth decided to leave him in the end as she could not get what she wanted from him, and Noah went to live on his boat in the interim.

As Beth was at the wedding, her father collapsed of a heart attack. The whole family went to her father's house, but Beth was the one doing everything, household chores, preparing meals and taking care of her father, while all her sisters did were sit down and cry and her brother-in-laws were more concerned with watching sports and making a whole lot of noise.

In the end, it was Noah who came and helped clean up the place for her, and being there to lend his shoulder. So she paid him a visit on his boat and told him that even though they were not married, he was more of a husband to her than the men her sisters married. They made up and she told him she would not ask for marriage again.

In the end, it was Noah who proposed to her and they got married on his boat in the middle of the sea. When she asked why the sudden change of heart, he said he loves her very much and her happiness means everything to him, so he knows only by giving her what she wants, ie marriage, will she be truly happy. Awww.... so sweet!

This show really reflects society in general. The characters are so real, as in anyone can be any of the characters. At the end of the show, Gigi, who finally found love, said even though the process can be hurtful, disappointing and depressing, but the main thing is never give up! Amen to that!

Commendable Service

I was in another crazy mood, so decided to go for another movie mini-marathon. I must have been really asleep when I booked the tickets, as instead of the cinema I wanted, I booked another one under the same organisation.

When I reached the counter to collect the tickets, the lady kindly said that I bought the wrong cinema instead. However, she asked me to go to the counter at the end and ask the Manager to help me change the tickets.

When I went to the end counter, the lady there said the Manager was not around, and asked me to go back to the first counter to tell them. So I did that. And the two ladies were so apologetic, saying that I was not supposed to be walking around so much, and asked the security guard to get the Manager.

When the Manager came, I explained the situation, and the ladies added that they were very apologetic from sending me counter to counter. So the Manager took out a red pen and just scratched the tickets I bought, giving me the same movies at the time I wanted.

However, since the whole process took some delay, I had to miss the first movie and could only make it to the second one. So he kindly transferred the ticket to the show on the next day, at the same timing, with no extra charge!

Now, that is good service! People who are willing to go out of the way to help, even though it was clearly my fault in the first place! Not only that, they have a humble attitude and go according to the doctrine that the "Customer is always right!".

The Season Of Giving (Up)

It is almost Lent. Or is it already Lent? In any case, the forty days of Lent was when Jesus fasted and prayed. Thus during Lent, people of my faith are supposed to "fast" by giving up something. Normally there will be a nine-week special Novena before Easter.

Since this Easter I will be away, in order to compromise, I have to give up something for Lent. Well, there is no compromise for religion, but still, I am already not those staunch bible-spouting kinds who go around converting anyone I see, so the least I can do is to try to be faithful.

Thus, from now until Easter, I am giving up chocolates. Yes, no big deal, but coming from me, it is a big deal. I cannot function without my daily dose of Rocher. Just like people swear on coffee, I swear on Rocher as my daily caffeine intake.

I am also giving up fried chicken wings. Again, it is not a big deal for many people, but it is a big deal for me, as this is one of my ultra weaknesses. I was contemplating whether I should give up writing as well, but well, we take it step by step. :-p

Hopefully, by giving up all these, coupled with extra prayers, maybe for once, a miracle can happen? That I can get my prayers answered for once (okay, for one of the few rare times), in those few aspects of my life which I have been praying about.

Making Up For What Is Lacking

Nobody is perfect. That is why we are all sinners. The thing is, if we know our own faults and weaknesses, we should at least try to make up in other areas. For instance, I may say I have a certain checklist for the kind of person I am looking for, but if I really have strong feelings for someone, it does not matter even if he does not fulfil any.

He can be lowly educated, in a menial job, earning minimal income, no inclination to upgrade, middle-aged and uncouth, but at least make it up by being nice, caring, reliable and committed. Like I know I can be too loud and whiny at times, so I try to make it up by being caring, generous and committed.

Sad to say, many people cannot even achieve that. They are not on par in many ways, yet they do not even meet the bare minimum of being nice! By this, I am referring to both genders. It is like they are always blaming people for being demanding, but they never look within themselves and see what their own problems are.

For instance, there are some women who are plain looking with a loud sense of fashion, yet think they are so gorgeous and try to act cute even when they are already in their late thirties. They still play mind games with men, expecting the men to chase them with romance and still play hard to get. The thing is if they are interested in going out with a man, then go ahead! Do not need to be so wishy-washy! If they are not interested, then just say no!

There are men who are plump, plain-looking, short and have no sense of dressing and behave in such a rude and uncouth way, yet they want a woman who is tall, elegant, gorgeous, yet at the same time submissive, intelligent, educated and soft-spoken. The thing is, if the woman is really tall, elegant, gorgeous, intelligent and educated, chances are she will not be the submissive type, and secondly, he will not be her type. Yet these are the kinds of people who then wonder why no one wants to be with them!

I have come across men who have no inclination to better themselves, yet they blame the women for being more capable. Case in point, my mum was interviewing a series of candidates who graduated from university last year. It was a bad time for job seekers. The girls grabbed whatever part-time or temporary jobs they could find. The guys, because they were not able to find any job, just stayed home, slept, surfed the net and essentially bumming around.

To an interviewer or prospective employer, it is a very bad impression, because the prospective employer will deem the candidate as not being hungry enough for a job. After all, if one can just bum around for half a year without doing anything, chances are he does not need to care about his living expenses. So they rather give the job to someone who needs it more, ie someone who takes on anything just to earn money.

That may or may not be the case, and it is unfair to judge just on this basis, but the fact is that things we do create impressions on people. Like this new forum I joined, the ladies are all capable and still upgrading themselves, yet the men are all so quiet. But the men still comment how come the ladies are so capable, will they not scare off men?

Well, if the man gets scared off, then it tells a lot about his self esteem, maturity and confidence, is it not? If he himself has no inclination to better himself, does he expect the whole world to remain stagnant with him? No way!

My Cup Of Tea ....

I am more a tea-drinker than a coffee drinker. That is not to say I will not drink coffee, but between coffee and tea, I much prefer the latter. What I deem as the perfect tea, or rather, my cup of tea, is when the tea is dark brown in colour, not too thick that it is still runny, and not too thin that it is almost transparent.

In other words, my cup of tea is one that is runny enough to be slightly translucent, yet at the same time thick enough that I cannot see the bottom of the cup through the brown liquid. It must have a slight aromatic smell, and I will add in two cubes of white sugar and enough milk to turn it an opaque wheat colour.

That, to me, is a perfect cup of tea. So far, the only time I have come across a perfect cup of tea is at Prive, the restaurant at the new (not so new already) Keppel Marina. All other teas I have come across simply do not cut it.

Maybe that is why I apply the same standard in men. When it comes to feelings or relationship, he is either your cup of tea or not. The person can be so good-looking, or so capable, or so rich, but that does not mean he will be my cup of tea.

The main thing I look for is reliability and keeping of promises. As in, if he says yes, means yes, no means no. Do not keep people hanging in between, wondering if it is a yes or not. Do not talk big about nice things and sweet talk, yet in the end never gets anything done. In other words, no empty promises!

It is hard to pinpoint reliability. There are some people whom you can tell by first instance if they are reliable. There are some who needs to go through some trials before they prove themselves to be reliable. Yet there are many who show their unreliability at the first instance. No wonder it is so hard to find someone you can trust and depend on nowadays!

Random Doodles ....

It had been a really packed weekend! Saturday was spent catching up on lessons, especially for Math. And skyping with my youngest brother in Canberra. Sunday I had an early tennis game, then we went for breakfast after that, at a market filled with local hawker fare. Then I did more studying and started catching up on the few discs I bought back from Japan.

One thing I must say, there are quite a few good deals in Japan! I bought discs of my favourite shows at just a fraction of the price that would be sold here or online! I bought the series of "101 Proposals", "Love 2000" and the movie "Love Letter", together with the soundtrack for "Love Letter". Unfortunately, I have not been able to find the soundtrack for "101 Proposals" (Chage and Aska's "Say Yes") and "Love 2000" (Do As Infinity's "Yesterday and Today").

I took the morning off yesterday to attend to something. I better not disclose what it is yet just in case some "kind soul" decides to email this post to someone in my company again! All I can say is, whatever I did yesterday was nothing illegal and not in any way contradictory to any policies of my company. In any case, I am going to take the afternoon off tomorrow again, so I hope things go well from here!

Is One's Life Written By Destiny?

And that is the question posed by “Slumdog Millionaire”. People know I can watch two or even three movies at one shot. Which was why after watching Benjamin Button, I went on to watch “Slumdog Millionaire”, the show which took many by surprise. I have heard raving reviews about it, so decided to watch it, as I figured if a non-Hollywood show can actually be in running for Best Picture, it must be quite something.

And I was not disappointed. The show touches on reality of the poor in developing countries, intensity of religious wars, love, luck and destiny. It was so typical of people to assume that someone young, poor and uneducated would not be able to go by in life that easily, thus must have cheated to get the big amount when so many more who were richer and higher educated could not achieve that.

Maybe it is to do with how one perceives life in general? Social problems are the same everywhere. In actual fact, those who lived the streets could probably have a much wider life experience and exposure because they have to learn how to survive without anyone’s help. They need to learn how to adapt and escape. Throughout this process, they probably come across a lot more things in life.

Comparatively, someone who had led a much more sheltered life, had the ability to have a good education, may not necessary have a rich life experience, because they go to school to learn yet not exposed to the harsh reality of what real society is about. Whatever they know they probably learnt from school, but to be honest, school learning is just the minimal foundation.

So when the main character went onto the game show where the questions were coincidentally parallel to what he had experienced in his life, he was able to answer them. The few questions which he really could not answer, he hitched a guess and happened to be very very lucky. Or perhaps it had been luck all the while that enabled him to survive all these while.

The climax was around the end when he went back to the show. Everyone was rooting for him to win. I found myself rooting for him too, as after the life he had, everyone would like to see a happy ending, so everyone wanted to see him win the money and win the girl.

The message at the end indicated that everything is written. Destiny, fate, luck, love, is all written. Alright, it is always written in the movies, but come to think of it, many shows parallel real life. At times, reality can be more dramatic than drama serials or movies. I know some people whose lives can be like a mini soap opera of sorts.

Which is why this movie is so critically acclaimed. It is one of those shows which gave a warm and good feeling all over, a show where it makes one feel for the main character, yet at the same time pitied him, root for him and support him.

Despite the typical cheesy Bollywood ending, this movie is a real independent success. I will not be surprised if Best Picture goes to “Slumdog Millionaire” though, but knowing Hollywood, “Benjamin Button” may just get it!

Reverse Ageing?

I was having another burst of craziness for the week, so went on a movie marathon. Can anyone imagine I watched four shows in just two days? With the Oscar season and all the blockbusters and Best Picture-nominated shows, how can anyone miss out? I do not want to miss the chance like last year when there were so many good shows but I chose to stay home and mope due to emotional problems.

So I started with “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”. I have heard this show is like Forrest Gump, and people know anything to do with Forrest Gump will garner my interest. Besides, it is Best Picture material, so the film will be of a certain calibre. Another pulling factor is it is starring Brad Pitt, and I am rather confident of his acting ability more than his looks.

I was a little late for the show so missed a bit of the beginning part. When I went in, the old woman’s daughter was reading from the diary of Benjamin, where he recounted his life story, starting when he was still a young kid trapped in the body of a very old man.

I must say, the makeup was perfect! No one can tell it was Brad Pitt under all the balding white hair, small frame, wheelchair-bound and wrinkled skin. At least we have a glimpse of what he will look like when he is in his eighties or so. Everyone will age, and it makes me wonder just what myself will look like when I am eighty, if I live to that age!

Still, it is a rather touching show on love. The love his foster mother had for him. The love his biological father had for his mother, and how they made peace in the end. The love he had for the one woman in his life – Daisy. How he loved her and his daughter so much that he could only go away so as not to be a burden to them when he started getting “younger”. The love for his offspring – how he worried that she would end up like him.

It is Forrest Gump all over again! Can anyone not tell the similarities? Being born in the American South, being abandoned by his biological father, having birth defects that only a miracle could cure, having a mother who loved him selflessly, loving the one woman in his life since childhood, being roped into the military, having a captain to look after him, having the woman in his life come back to him after a wild life, having a child together, just running and running when they separated, and having a trivial thing as a symbolism for life.

The hummingbird represents the white feather. In Forrest’s case, he had to live on when his wife died, and the feather represented the experiences he had in life, which he had then to pass on to his son. The hummingbird symbolized Daisy’s and Benjamin’s fate, where at least they could be sealed together.

This is the kind of movie where not everyone will appreciate. But it is a really good movie on its own – the storyline, the symbolism, the adventures of the main character, until the ending scene. Daisy passed away peacefully after seeing the hummingbird. Just like how Rose passed away peacefully after throwing the “Heart of the Ocean” back into the ocean. It was as if finally the burden could be unleashed and there was nothing to live on for anymore.

Despite that, I still prefer Forrest Gump! So far, no other show has topped that movie in my list. For a list of top ten favourites (which has since grown to top hundred and still growing), Forrest Gump has still not been toppled. No other movie I have watched so far can ever come close to that.

No Money, No Marry

Got this article from a friend. Some food for thought.

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Local men, listen up. According to a survey conducted by the Shin Min Daily News, women in Singapore require that their prospective partners earn a minimum of $4,000 to $5,000, before they will consider marrying them.

Local TV artiste and compere Quan Yifeng discussed this issue on a talkshow programme recently. The topic was about "How much should a Singaporean man earn" and how much is enough?

The three female guests invited to speak on the talkshow agreed that a good amount would be between $4,000 to $5,000. A shocked Quan Yifeng quipped: "No wonder Singaporean men can't get wives."

A local netizen posted this topic in an online forum in May. Till today, the topic has raged on, with many forummers posting their comments and opinions. The thread has accumulated more than 200 responses so far.

Regarding the minimum that a man should earn, a reporter from the Chinese daily posed this question to 20 men and women. Most of them said that having a salary that is good enough to sustain your lifestyle would be sufficient. However, most agreed that $4,000 to $5,000 is a "reasonable amount" if one is thinking of setting up a family.

Without that minimum amount, they reason, it would be difficult for a man to support his wife, let alone think about having children and allowing them to grow up in a comfortable environment.

The men say: "I would say the same too"

Mr Su Jun Long, 27, an accountant, earns $2,400 per month. He says: "I am not worried about not finding a wife, especially not a materialistic one. Actually, it is not important how much I earn, but more of how much I spend. However, when I am thirty-plus, I would also hope I am able to earn a minimum of $3,000 and above."

Mr Zhang Yi Zheng, 26, an auditor, earns $2,100 per month. He says: "$4,000 to $5,000 is a reasonable amount to expect. But at my age, it is normal to earn only $2000 plus. My girlfriend earns about the same amount as I do."

Mr Huang, 30, an IT personnel who earns $2,500 per month, says: "Contentment is key. Money is a factor, but it should not be the main consideration. Having a low income would be a problem too, so a salary of $4,000 to $5,000 is not too much to ask."

The women say: "It is just enough to support a family"

Ms Shen Yu Tai, 27, a bank officer, says: "Actually, $2,000 is enough. But it is understandable that women would require their husbands to earn $4,000 to $5,000. After all, we all want to be able to live a comfortable life. That amount is required to start a family as well."

Ms Pan, 27, a writer, says: "It is not important how much he earns, but he must be good at saving. The salary ranges for industries differ, so there shouldn't be a specific requirement, as long as he earns above $2,500.”

Ms Tan, 30, a customer service officer, says: "Realistically, an income of $4,000 to $5,000 should be expected. Generally, as long as you have a degree, and have worked for a few years, you should be able to draw that amount."

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Looking back, in my younger years, I was contented with just a meager salary. My starting pay is definitely not as high as compared to a lot of people, because I have no honours, no army training and no technical qualifications. Thus, for a government servant, mine was considered the lowest of the range.

My then-boyfriend gave up a job with a high starting salary to take one with a lower starting salary, even though he would earn a bit in commission and allowances, depending on where he went. So, after some calculation, both our incomes combined together barely made S$5,000.00.

Then the guy after that did not even work full-time. He took on a series of freelance jobs and worked on a project basis while undergoing his second degree. So it was mostly my income. Come to think of it, how in the world did we, or I, survived?

Maybe the older we get, the more established in our careers we get, the more affluent we get, we tend to want a better lifestyle. Afterall, if you have reached a certain kind of standard, you will never want to go back to those kind of life again where you have to struggle to make ends meet.

So even though I am earning more than before (not that it is a lot in the first place), personally I will still like a guy who earns a certain income. In any case, a normal graduate in a normal job at this age will be earning at least a comfortable income. By comfortable, I mean an income that can support the whole family in the event I may stop work for whatever reason.

Even if we can cut down on things like dining out and travelling, stay in just a normal flat with bare furnishings, the flat alone can cost quite a bit. Not to mention a car. It is still much more convenient to go around in a car, especially when we need to do grocery shopping or have to bring the kids or the parents elsewhere.

Okay, I am being a tad calculative now, but truth be told, after what my friends told me and the reality of how much things really cost, we really do need quite a substantial amount of savings plus a comfortable income to sustain a family.

Those things I said in the past about just surviving on love alone was really childish. True, love itself can overcome many things, but when a couple already has to deal with things like differing lifestyles, in-law problems, differences in backgrounds, work and living together, bread and butter and financial issues should not add to their problems.

Hence, is it really being materialistic if we ask for a middle-income earner? Like I told my friend yesterday when I asked her how she spent her Valentine’s Day, I do not need someone to shower me with gifts or flowers or dining out at high class restaurants. I also do not need someone gorgeous or from a filthy-rich background. Just someone who can be responsible and financially sound enough to take care of the family.

After all, when we are living a life together, we cannot say we do not have enough money to pay the housing and utility bills on time. If we are going to have kids, I cannot just say I do not have enough money thus do not go for pre-natal checkup, or ask the baby to come out later when I have money. Or when the baby is hungry, we cannot just tell the baby to eat later as we have no money for milk.

I do not want to just have kids and that is it. If I am to have kids, I want to ensure they get the best in life in terms of experience and upbringing. I want to be able to do a better job than my mother, and give my kids more than what my mum had ever given me. Which is why I need someone with a sound financial basis to be combined with mine.

This is not being materialistic. Materialistic simply means expecting the guys to buy all the expensive things all the time, and expecting more and more and never enough. I want enough money to give my family a firm foundation in life, so they can grow up to be interesting, knowledgeable, smart and sociable people, and not the kind of “dubious” people I tend to meet.

In Search Of "The Prince"

I have no idea just how successful the singles events are. The post-dinner event is to watch the show “Love Matters” and the magic show at The Arena tonight. However from feedback given, not many were that keen on the movie. Afterall, with the influx of Oscar-nominated Best Picture movies, who will really want to watch a local heartland show?

It is the brutal truth. No matter how the show can tug at one’s heartstrings, it is at the end just another localized movie, of the same genre, catered to the general audience, to those who may not be that educated and live in normal flats, who struggle to make ends meet, who have to deal with their own family and social problems. I much rather watch “Slumdog Millionaire” which I have heard raving reviews about and “Benjamin Button” starring Brad Pitt anytime!

In any case, my friend and I gave the movie and the magic show a miss. I was rushing my essay and assignment on Sunday, one was due Monday and the other tomorrow. The magic show happens to be a bad time, as Monday night is not a good time for many things. We have to rush from work, then cannot really stay out that late due to work the next day.

One day I really must go get statistics on just how the success rates are at events like these. Personally, I have not found anyone that appealing on both Friday and Saturday. I am not talking about looks, but about the general behaviour of the guys. It seems as if in general, it is hard for guys to make conversation. Either that, or the moment they open their mouths, they tend to piss people off for being too blunt and offensive.

At least on one to one dates, people have no choice but to talk to each other, although you can be surprised too that some guys go on one to one dates yet refusing to open their mouths. In the end, it felt as if I was having a monologue, yet I still got told off for talking too much! I always retorted that if he is not going to talk, I am not going to just sit down and stare at him! That defeats the entire purpose of a meetup if both are going to just keep quiet!

Besides that “kid” on Friday night, I have not really talked to anyone new on Saturday. Ironically, I have been keeping in touch with a couple of ladies from my friend’s table instead. I think the organizers are going to sigh and shake their heads, as I have not kept in touch with any of the guys, since I did not exchange numbers with anyone. But the ladies at my friend’s table are nice and sociable, so we exchanged numbers instead!

Still, these events are just for fun. It is a good way to make new friends, be they guys or girls. Some take it too seriously, as in they need to find someone to be with. To be really honest, I find it hard to find someone in events like these, unless we happen to glance at each other from opposite sides of the room and sparks started flying at first instance, which has never occurred for me.

It is an irony, is it not? When one was younger and not that mature or ready to handle a relationship, one tends to fall in love so easily with just about anyone as their emotions were so strong. They thought they could just live on love alone, without considering the circumstances. So when things did not work out, they got all upset and then went on a rebound and realized the next relationship was worse.

Yet when one has grown older and more mature (hopefully) and less swayed by emotions, when one is finally ready to commit and handle a real relationship, finally knows what it takes for things to work, it is then so hard to find someone.

How many frogs must I kiss before one finally turns into a prince? How many years must I sleep before I finally meet a prince? How many glass slippers must I try on before the prince finally comes knocking? And how many poisoned apples must I eat before the prince rescues me?

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Installing Love

Something from the Valentine's Day issue of an inspirational online magazine.

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Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So LOVE is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. LOVE is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

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A Bedazzling Night

For once, I had fun on Valentine's night as a single. Last night's gala dinner was fun, although if the people at my table were more approachable, things would be even more fun! Since it is a glittering gold theme, I wore the yellow satin dress, with citrine necklace and earrings, plus four-inch ankle straps.

I was wondering how the rest would dress, and as expected, the ladies were better dressed than the men. I saw some men coming in just corduroy and a normal shirt - more smart casual than formal.

Front view of the dress

Back View of the dress

Citrine Necklace

Citrine Earrings

Complete Ensemble (Front View)

Complete Ensemble (Back View)

My friend himself was wearing a suit, but even he did not want to wear a tie. I was sitting at the Pink table, where there were more ladies than men. Initially there were only two men, but one more got transferred to the table.

Everyone was quiet, and I was trying to make conversation again, but for some reason, the men at my table were aloof and chauvinistic. They kept putting down everything and everybody, especially the Bedazzling Single finalists, and kept wanting to have the final say in every opinion. I almost ended up arguing with one of them!

My friend was sitting at Gold table, where there was a more balance mix of guys and girls. There were interactive games where people had to get out of the table and mingled around. There was a female celebrity where she dated five guys and chose one whom she did not mind seeing again. I was just talking to the organisers and asked them why was there a female celebrity but no male celebrity? That would be so unfair to the ladies!

Food was okay, nothing much to rave about though. It was a three-course Western dinner starting with Caesar salad, main course of fish, dessert of vanilla ice cream and coffee / tea. Throughout the dinner, there was a lucky draw, introduction of the Bedazzling Single finalists (I must say they all looked good!), and around the end, we had to vote for whom we liked as the Most Bedazzling Single. Ladies have to vote for the guys and guys have to vote for the ladies.

Around the end, I went over to my friend's table and started mingling with his table mates. We then went for drinks at The Loof after that. I have heard of the Loof for quite a while now, but have never been there.

Last night was quite an experience, because the whole place is al fresco, on the roof of one of the buildings. It was very crowded, being a Saturday night and Valentine's Day. However, it was filled mostly with Caucasians.

Initially, we had to stand as there were no more seats left for our group of six. So we ended up sharing a table with some guys. Then they left and we managed to get seats. However, there was only one bathroom for both genders, and for some reason, the girls all seemed to want to go to the bathroom at the same time! Knowing girls, they tend to take a long time inside, I still have not figured out why! The bathroom is the last place anyone will want to stay a long time in!

I ordered Lychee Martini - my favourite cocktail. But the one I drank yesterday was a tad strong, so I got high and a bit tipsy after just a glass. Perhaps because I drank so much the day before that the alcohol was still in my system? Needless to say, I got a hangover this morning. Hmmmm.... seems that I still cannot figure out what is my limit!

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Revel Night!

Happy Valentine's Day! I am surprised I can still wake up so early today without much of a hangover, considering the combination I drank last night! I have not drank so much in my life before!

I started out with sake at a Japanese restaurant with my friend, then when we met up with the guy to go to The Arena, there was free flow of drinks for the ladies, so the guy took drink coupons from me and gave me orange vodka and bourbon coke. I downed it with coke and orange juice, until the bar closed and we then proceeded to Zirca, where I drank whisky downed with water and coke. It was really a miracle that I was still able to walk properly without any trace of drunkness!

As some of you can recall, I was trying to decide on what to wear to the Revel event. In the end, I settled on a reddish silk halter dress that falls slightly below my knees. I got that at a big discount in Oxford Street of London two years back. When I wore it, the front seems a bit lower cut than I thought, but to heck with it! I matched it with my knee-length boots and crystal drop earrings, and smoky eyes. I think the effect must be good because those who saw me all commented I look good!

Front view of the dress

Back view of the dress

The crystal earrings

My knee-length boots

The complete ensemble

In any case, the Revel night was not as fun as I thought. My friends and I reached there about eight plus, and already the hall was crowded. There seemed to be more guys than girls. We walked one round and came back empty handed, as we could not find anyone whom we found remotely appealing.

So we sat down at a table and just chatted. There were guys who came up and talked to us, but all they did was say hi, introduced their names and went off. I was like, "Aren't they supposed to be taking drinks coupons from me?"

There were quite a variety of guys though, from kids to middle aged "uncles". Most of the guys are quiet with not much of a mingling around. Those that I saw that were remotely flamboyant were the wild ones whom I did not wish to attract.

For some reason, the only guy that kind of talked to me throughout happened to be a kid! As in really a kid! He talked about clubbing, about how good a dancer he is, and whether I can guess his cologne (which I could not even smell to tell the truth!). And he is still a tertiary student! I as much as told him he is too young for me, but he simply could not get the hint and kept trying to make conversation, but honestly, I was getting so irritated!

I went off to find another guy friend who told me he was there with a group. I managed to find him and introduced him to my friends, then chatted with him for a while. Some photographers were around to take photos of us, and displayed the photos on the screen, as well as printed one for each of us as a memento. The kid took the opportunity to take a photo with me too. When the bar closed, we decided to proceed to another club.

Taken with my friends

Taken with the "kid"

I thought I could finally get rid of the kid, but he wanted to tag along with us. So I said I was not the decision-maker, why not he ask my friends if he could come along? And he actually asked them! My guy friend then rescued me by saying we were actually going for a private party, so that was when he finally gave up! Thank goodness! If I was not walking in front of so many people, I could have hugged my friend there and then!

We then went on to Zirca, the one who took over MInistry of Sound. My friend is able to go in as a VIP due to his credit card, and he is even allowed to bring two guests, so we managed to go in as VIPs too, where we could utilise the VIP lounge in the Envy room.

We sat at a place where we could see the stage, and every half an hour or so, there would be an acrobat performance or striptease. Gosh, the guys are so hunky! We then indulged in spicy wings, honey squid and prawn crackers, as well as booze, and just swayed to the music!

Is it because I have not stepped into a club for so long, that I find the music a tad softer now? I remember how I used to feel giddy over the loud booming music played in clubs. That, coupled with the booze and smoke, always made me drunk so easily.

Last night was one of the most enjoyable clubbing experiences, because the music was good, and ever since smoking was outlawed in clubs, the environment just becomes better and the air is fresher! Maybe that is why I enjoyed myself so much, better than previous experiences! Hopefully tonight's gala dinner will be just as fun too!

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Snippets From My Best Friend's Wedding

I wanted to share these photos a long time ago, but then I know my best friend is not one to showcase her face to everyone, which is why I refrained from posting these. Then I realize since memories of her wedding is still so ingrained in my brain, what better way than to keep the memories alive online in case I turn senile one day?

So I decided to upload all my wonderful memories up here. Out of respect to the bridal couple, I cropped the pictures so their (and their families and friends’) faces would not be seen. As one can see, I was having a rather bad hair day that day, but then again, the focus was not on me but her! So who cares what I looked like?

Helping to usher the guests outside the banquet hall

With the bride (slinging arms with the bride)

Group photo at the table (the groom was just behind me!)

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Does A Five-Day Work Week Equate To A Poor Work-Life Balance?

I was rather amused after reading this article. Whoever said a five-day work week equates to a poor work-life balance is probably a workaholic with no life! Whether single, married without kids or married with kids, having a five-day work week is still beneficial to everyone. Personally, I much prefer a five-day work week anytime! I believe most of my friends prefer a five-day work week as well!

By five-day work week, I mean officially five days in the office with the weekends off. However, with the kinds of jobs people have nowadays, everyone is mobile, what with laptops, PDAs, blackberries, that one ends up working remotely at home or on vacation even. So if we are already putting in office hours five days a week, at the same time being contactable at all times for work-related issues, I sure will want my weekends off to rest and relax, and just chill out.

Whether I am single or not, a five-day work week leads to a good work-life balance. Work-life balance does not mean just going to the office for five days and then staying home and spending time with the family the rest of the week. As I have mentioned, nowadays employees have to be contactable at all times for exigencies. Work-life balance simply means not putting in more hours in the office than whatever that is stipulated under Labour Law.

Let's face it. We are already going to the office five times a week. Do we really want to go back on Saturdays and Sundays as well? I much prefer to have the weekends off to have time for myself. If one does not have time for oneself or with the family, there will never be any work-life balance, even if someone works a four-day week.

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Budget 2009 Essay Competition

I have gotten myself busy with a new project. I received a mailer from my school about this “Budget 2009” essay competition, and I have just signed up for it. After going through the objectives, I realize I know very little about financing issues, whether personal or the country or the economy.

So if I am to submit an essay, it will be very risky because it will only reflect how inadequate I really am. In that case, why must I sign up for it if it is something that is not in my area of expertise.

Firstly, I have always wanted to be more financially savvy, especially after getting my fingers burnt. In order to do that, I must know how to budget for myself. But personal budget and income is dependent on how the economy functions. And how the country’s economy functions is dependent on how the world’s economy outlook is like.

With the rapid downturn in economy which does not seem likely to recover, our government is breaking all precedence and tapping into the country’s reserves. Not just the government, companies are now also adapting measures to try to cut cost.

I see it in my own workplace, as well as those my friends are working in.So in order to cope with the projected deficit, one has to know how to manage monetary resources and come up with strategies on how to stretch every dollar. If I can achieve that, then I believe it will be greatly beneficial to myself, and things will flow smoother henceforth.

In order to come up with a good essay, I must learn everything that is to learn about whatever that has been going on. Even if I do not win (very unlikely anyway), the research, readings and brainstorming I go through will benefit me greatly. I will sure learn a lot more through this experience.

Which is why I signed up for it. Not because I aim to win, but because of the entire learning process and the intense knowledge gained from there. The submission date is sixteenth February, so I only have a few days to do all my research and come up with a good essay!

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Academic Learning Vs Work Experience

Nowadays I am thinking should one really study so much? As with many others, I have been brought up with the mentality that studies are everything, and for one to succeed, education, top scores and high qualifications count. So even though I hated studying, I still had to struggle to complete a tertiary education.

However, I realize that we learn more things out of school than actually in school. By the time we go out to work, whatever theories we learnt in school does not count. Experience gained is not on how well you did in school but actual practical experience.

For instance, back in school, we were never taught how to write a resume, how to organize files or categorise matters. For sure we were never taught how to deal with office politics, or how to record and justify matters.

Employers think that if we have a certain qualification, we would know how to do certain things, but truth be told, when everyone was so fresh, there were really a lot of things we did not know. Hence we started making stupid mistakes. The thing is, we did not know they were mistakes until we got reprimanded, and even then, some may not even know why they were reprimanded!

For sure back in school, we were not taught how to network or get along with people. True, teachers will ensure we did not fight and shared things with the rest, tried to cultivate teamwork, but still, we were not taught how to just talk to anyone. We were not being moulded into “people” persons, or “financially savvy” persons, but more of academic robots where just a bit of effort could get us the results we wanted.

We were also not taught how to deal with failure. For instance, someone could have the best grades all his life. Then when it came to work and he was put down, he took it very badly as it was a big bruise to his ego for having failed as he had never failed in his life before.

Which makes me wonder, should one then keep studying? I have friends who only have mere degrees but they are doing far better than those with Masters. I have friends who do not even have degrees but they are not doing that badly themselves as well. In fact, some are in a better job earning far more than me when my academic qualifications are even higher.

Come to think of it, I learnt more things out of school than actually in school. After the past few years and the experience gained, I do not believe I am not on par with a practitioner. I do not believe I am also not on par with an Accounts Executive.

However, this society being the way it is, as long as you do not have the appropriate qualifications, you will never be considered on par with those of the appropriate qualifications. How often have I felt disappointed when people turn their noses upon me just because I am not a practitioner, thus I should be of “lesser” calibre.

How often have I felt down because people deem me as someone who should be treated as an outcast just because I do not have the appropriate qualifications, thus should not behave as if I have the qualifications, and neither am I so low-ranking as the rest, thus I should not be bothered with.

Which is why I am still upgrading. One day, I will be in a job that fits the qualifications I achieve, and people will then treat me accordingly – not as an outcast or an in-between, but as an equal to those of higher ranking, yet also not too snooty for those lower-ranking. I just want to be treated with respect, whether I am of that rank or not.

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Interesting Investor's Psychology ....

I received this from a friend. Sounds familiar? ;-p

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A Burst Of Craziness!

I have been relatively “normal” for a very long time now (although some may differ), until I did a crazy thing today. For some reason, I had such a strong crazing for the whipped potato and iced tea from KFC, that I almost wanted to call in and order the meal. However, ordering the meal is expensive and not practical for just one person, so I thought of going down to the nearest outlet. At least I still have part of my sanity intact!

In any case, the nearest outlet to my office is a short walk down the street. So I proceeded. Except I underestimated the distance. Well, it looks near from the bus stop, but what turned out to be a short walk became four bus stops, one zebra crossing and three pedestrian crossings. Plus it was the noontime sun, so I was almost fainting from hunger and the heat.

When I finally reached the place, I started looking for the restaurant. I walked around the whole place but could not find any trace of the restaurant! I thought of just taking the bus down to the nearest interchange which I know there is a restaurant, when I found it. Apparently, the small outlet happens to be inside a department store.

When I saw the clock on the wall, I realized that I took half an hour to walk down and find the place! It was a wonder I did not get any heat stroke! So I ordered whatever I wanted and got my craving satisfied! Not only that, I also got to enjoy a bit of the cool air-conditioning!

Then it was time to go back to the office. This time round, I did not wish to walk in the hot sun again, so I just went to the nearest bus stop and took the bus in. It was only three stops coming back, but at least I did not need to walk in the sun!

The crazy things I can do sometimes! Most people will not be bothered and just grab anything at a nearer place! But this is me – when I want something, I make sure I go get it no matter how far or difficult it is. At least I am happy that despite everything, I am still quintessentially myself!

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My Drive Of Life

My youngest brother left for Canberra last night. He will be taking a Commerce degree majoring in Accounting and Finance. My mum hopes he can come back with a recognized degree so as to achieve a Certified Public Accountant qualification within two years upon graduation.

He does not seem that enthusiastic going overseas though. If it is me, I would have looked forward so much that I could hardly wait to go! I would have been the one ensuring everything was properly arranged, in terms of course schedule and accommodation. I would have read up on the culture of the country and people and ensured thorough preparation before leaving!

I guess my mum is now pining all her hopes on him because both my first brother and I have turned out to be disappointments. Well, I could have been a Deputy Public Prosecutor but chose to give it all up and now struggling away as a lowly employee.

What can I say? I was foolish and idealistic then. Perhaps I still am now. That is not to say I rather remain stuck where I am, otherwise I will not keep thinking of upgrading and seeing if there are better job opportunities which can give me a better career path.

But knowing that I have wasted all these years getting nowhere, I must strive even harder to achieve. This is the age where most of my peers already have built up a career of their own, so able to be more laid back a bit. I have been laid back most of my life, so I have to catch up on all those lost years!

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Fun Singles Events To Look Forward To ....

This week is Valentine’s Week, and the various matchmaking / dating agencies have come together to organize some fun activities for singles. I have kind of lost count on the number of advertisements I receive. But I will be going for two of them.

First up is the Revel event this Friday. Initially it was just my friend and I who signed up together, but since he can only come in later, we will not be going together. Then I heard another one of our friends have signed up, so she and I may be going together. A new friend I got to know a few weeks back will also be going, but he will be going in a group organized by one of the dating agencies.

Then the BeDazzled Glittering Gold Gala dinner on Saturday. Initially there was a conference on Friday leading up to the dinner, but since the conference had been cancelled, I was asked if I wanted a one to one date or a refund, so I chose the latter. It seems more cost-effective to have a refund, since the one to one date may not even cost the same as what I paid for the conference!

Which kind of conveniences me, because I was intending to take leave on Friday to attend the conference. But if I am to take leave, then I would have used up one more day. My leave is very precious. I rather use it up one shot to go for a longer holiday than to take bit by bit in order to clear. With the conference cancelled, I can still go to work as per normal, then go to The Arena later on in the night.

Which only leaves the question of what am I going to wear on Friday night? Yes, the question every girl asks herself, whether single or attached. No matter how long she is with a guy, how the guy says he loves her for who she is not what she looks like, she will still want to ensure she is well-dressed and appropriate for the occasion.

I have already prepared what I intend to wear on Saturday. As for Friday, I am thinking of wearing a tube dress, not the one I wore for Chinese New Year, but a black one with floral prints. And boots of course. Maybe the knee-length boots.

The last two time I actually went to a club (Zouk and St James), I wore a red tube dress with a matching scarf and my old mid-calf boots, and a black sleeveless toga dress with the same boots. After that the heels of the boots fell out and I had to retire them.

In any case, I have up to Thursday night to decide. Time for some wardrobe cleaning again!

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Networking While Exercising

I have not woken up so early on a Saturday morning just to have a jog at the beach. Heck, I have not woken up early on any day to jog! Since my friend suggested going to the beach and we could invite more people, I took the opportunity to get more of my friends to come along.

I have not been to the beach for quite a while, especially during the day time. The past few times I went was during the night, when it was quieter and cosier. Hence I would kind of expect the beach to be crowded on a Saturday morning, but it was not as crowded as I thought! There were the usual cyclists, rollerbladers, joggers and swimmers, but other than that, it was just a sparse scattering of people.

Initially it was just three of us. Then I asked a few more friends along – two guys and a girl. All three said okay, but along the way two of them cancelled as they had other appointments. Then another guy said he would come. On Thursday itself, one more guy agreed to come.

In the end, it was a group of six. Three of us (including me) brought our dogs along, so we had a good time walking and exercising the dogs, as well as get some exercising of our own done. All the more so for me, since I have not walked or jogged anywhere for such a long time!

Initially, my friend wanted rollerblading, but since most of us do not blade, and since it is the first time we are meeting at the beach, we thought it would be best to take it easy the first time round. So it was a good time for all of us, catching up on things, getting some wind and sun, and sitting down for breakfast after that. At least my friends seem to get along well, so it is a good thing! We are thinking of having another outing like that, perhaps a tennis session, so see how that goes!

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Replacement Of A Good Year?

The latest news on the home front is that a certain power lady is relinquishing her post at a certain high-profile company, and resigning from the Board of Directors as well. Wonder what she is going to do after this?

Her replacement will be a man. I am sure he brings with him vast experience and skills to bring the company to greater heights. With all pun intended, does it mean this will then be a good year for the company, and for our economy in general? :-p

Hopefully he will be able to do just as good or a better job than her. Although I think it is rather hard for anyone to step into her shoes, considering just how powerful she is. People think I am a feminist, since I tend to speak up for women, but I always proclaim I am not one.

Still, from evidences of long ago, women do do a better job than men in the same post and rank. Especially now when the genders are more equal and more and more women are getting more and more powerful.

Women have lots of grit in them to achieve the best results in whatever they do. That can be one reason why they tend to be extra picky and calculative over little things, because we go by the mentality that we want the best so should give the best too.

Having said that, my friend sent me a quote which I find really true :

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”

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