No Money, No Marry

Got this article from a friend. Some food for thought.

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Local men, listen up. According to a survey conducted by the Shin Min Daily News, women in Singapore require that their prospective partners earn a minimum of $4,000 to $5,000, before they will consider marrying them.

Local TV artiste and compere Quan Yifeng discussed this issue on a talkshow programme recently. The topic was about "How much should a Singaporean man earn" and how much is enough?

The three female guests invited to speak on the talkshow agreed that a good amount would be between $4,000 to $5,000. A shocked Quan Yifeng quipped: "No wonder Singaporean men can't get wives."

A local netizen posted this topic in an online forum in May. Till today, the topic has raged on, with many forummers posting their comments and opinions. The thread has accumulated more than 200 responses so far.

Regarding the minimum that a man should earn, a reporter from the Chinese daily posed this question to 20 men and women. Most of them said that having a salary that is good enough to sustain your lifestyle would be sufficient. However, most agreed that $4,000 to $5,000 is a "reasonable amount" if one is thinking of setting up a family.

Without that minimum amount, they reason, it would be difficult for a man to support his wife, let alone think about having children and allowing them to grow up in a comfortable environment.

The men say: "I would say the same too"

Mr Su Jun Long, 27, an accountant, earns $2,400 per month. He says: "I am not worried about not finding a wife, especially not a materialistic one. Actually, it is not important how much I earn, but more of how much I spend. However, when I am thirty-plus, I would also hope I am able to earn a minimum of $3,000 and above."

Mr Zhang Yi Zheng, 26, an auditor, earns $2,100 per month. He says: "$4,000 to $5,000 is a reasonable amount to expect. But at my age, it is normal to earn only $2000 plus. My girlfriend earns about the same amount as I do."

Mr Huang, 30, an IT personnel who earns $2,500 per month, says: "Contentment is key. Money is a factor, but it should not be the main consideration. Having a low income would be a problem too, so a salary of $4,000 to $5,000 is not too much to ask."

The women say: "It is just enough to support a family"

Ms Shen Yu Tai, 27, a bank officer, says: "Actually, $2,000 is enough. But it is understandable that women would require their husbands to earn $4,000 to $5,000. After all, we all want to be able to live a comfortable life. That amount is required to start a family as well."

Ms Pan, 27, a writer, says: "It is not important how much he earns, but he must be good at saving. The salary ranges for industries differ, so there shouldn't be a specific requirement, as long as he earns above $2,500.”

Ms Tan, 30, a customer service officer, says: "Realistically, an income of $4,000 to $5,000 should be expected. Generally, as long as you have a degree, and have worked for a few years, you should be able to draw that amount."

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Looking back, in my younger years, I was contented with just a meager salary. My starting pay is definitely not as high as compared to a lot of people, because I have no honours, no army training and no technical qualifications. Thus, for a government servant, mine was considered the lowest of the range.

My then-boyfriend gave up a job with a high starting salary to take one with a lower starting salary, even though he would earn a bit in commission and allowances, depending on where he went. So, after some calculation, both our incomes combined together barely made S$5,000.00.

Then the guy after that did not even work full-time. He took on a series of freelance jobs and worked on a project basis while undergoing his second degree. So it was mostly my income. Come to think of it, how in the world did we, or I, survived?

Maybe the older we get, the more established in our careers we get, the more affluent we get, we tend to want a better lifestyle. Afterall, if you have reached a certain kind of standard, you will never want to go back to those kind of life again where you have to struggle to make ends meet.

So even though I am earning more than before (not that it is a lot in the first place), personally I will still like a guy who earns a certain income. In any case, a normal graduate in a normal job at this age will be earning at least a comfortable income. By comfortable, I mean an income that can support the whole family in the event I may stop work for whatever reason.

Even if we can cut down on things like dining out and travelling, stay in just a normal flat with bare furnishings, the flat alone can cost quite a bit. Not to mention a car. It is still much more convenient to go around in a car, especially when we need to do grocery shopping or have to bring the kids or the parents elsewhere.

Okay, I am being a tad calculative now, but truth be told, after what my friends told me and the reality of how much things really cost, we really do need quite a substantial amount of savings plus a comfortable income to sustain a family.

Those things I said in the past about just surviving on love alone was really childish. True, love itself can overcome many things, but when a couple already has to deal with things like differing lifestyles, in-law problems, differences in backgrounds, work and living together, bread and butter and financial issues should not add to their problems.

Hence, is it really being materialistic if we ask for a middle-income earner? Like I told my friend yesterday when I asked her how she spent her Valentine’s Day, I do not need someone to shower me with gifts or flowers or dining out at high class restaurants. I also do not need someone gorgeous or from a filthy-rich background. Just someone who can be responsible and financially sound enough to take care of the family.

After all, when we are living a life together, we cannot say we do not have enough money to pay the housing and utility bills on time. If we are going to have kids, I cannot just say I do not have enough money thus do not go for pre-natal checkup, or ask the baby to come out later when I have money. Or when the baby is hungry, we cannot just tell the baby to eat later as we have no money for milk.

I do not want to just have kids and that is it. If I am to have kids, I want to ensure they get the best in life in terms of experience and upbringing. I want to be able to do a better job than my mother, and give my kids more than what my mum had ever given me. Which is why I need someone with a sound financial basis to be combined with mine.

This is not being materialistic. Materialistic simply means expecting the guys to buy all the expensive things all the time, and expecting more and more and never enough. I want enough money to give my family a firm foundation in life, so they can grow up to be interesting, knowledgeable, smart and sociable people, and not the kind of “dubious” people I tend to meet.