I realise that the disadvantage of living an “open” life is that one tends to be subject to public scrutiny. I have long gone beyond the phase to bother with what people say, which is why when a certain article came out last year and it generated a whole lot of forums by shallow people, I did not even bother to refute anything, and was more amused than anything else to read what was written.
So when someone was trying to blow his or her whistle all over with regards to a certain post, I just shrugged it off. There will be lots of hypersensitive people around who are so principled and full of integrity that they want to give their two cents’ worth yet not even brave enough to come clean and identify themselves.
If I am to bother with every little thing, then I will lead a very unhappy life, like before. It took me almost three decades to finally get my emotions under control, so now that I am leading a much happier life, I do not have to let things like that get me down.
Still, maybe I was being a tad insensitive over certain things I have written. Afterall, in these trying times, everyone will get hypersensitive over issues like luxury, like employment, like enjoyment. So maybe some people think I have taken things for granted.
Perhaps I have, perhaps I have not. Still, in times like these, does it mean to say life should standstill and I should be as miserable as everyone else? Maybe if I am married with kids and face the actual reality of a spouse who had lost his job and growing children to feed, then perhaps I will think differently.
But right now, I am single. I have no one to account to except for my parents. So does it matter how I live my life as long as I am not doing anything illegal? If I cannot enjoy now when I am single and “free”, how will I have the time and luxury to enjoy when I am to settle down?
My friend who is preparing for her wedding is already griping about her loss of “freedom” – she cannot shop as much as she could, no more luxurious holidays for the time being, no more dining out often, as after paying for the house, they have to cut down on everything else. Another friend who used to indulge so much, now acts like a normal heartlander after getting married, going for house ware sale and rushing for good bargains.
I am not saying I cannot enjoy after getting married. My idea of marriage and settling down is not simply to just make a home and that is it. I like to do things and have fun together with my partner too. What I am saying is that after marriage, a lot of things have to be shifted to a different perspective.
But before that, no one should begrudge me for living my life to the fullest by enjoying every single day or indulging in luxurious things. I have already wasted three decades, so now I have to be even more on the ball to catch up on everything I have missed out for the past thirty years!
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