It is a funny thing about love. When you are looking for it, it never happens. When you are not looking for it, you fall deeply and unexpectedly, and whatever "criteria list" you have just gets thrown out of the window.
Recently there has been quite a number of social events organised by the various dating agencies. Maybe because Valentine's Day is coming, and maybe because they are responding to the government's concern on the growing number of singles in their thirties. Whatever it is, there are now more and more social events for singles to go to.
The thing is, in the past, or when one was young, it seemed so easy to find someone. I was in and out of relationships. Not that I have that many boyfriends or I keep changing partners. My relationships were pretty long-term. But I never found it hard to find another one after the previous one ended.
It was like sparks started igniting everywhere, even when I did not want them to be lit up. Even when my social circle was much smaller. There were only a handful guys I really know then. My previous guys were from school or introduced by friends or from work.
Then when my last relationship ended, I was in my late twenties. Since then, I have been unattached for the past few years. Even when my social circle is now much bigger. I got to know people through dating agencies, online, friends of friends, group outings with friends, social events, work. Quite a number of them are highly successful, articulate, interesting and intellectual. People who can hold conversations yet fun-loving at the same time.
Definitely the people I know in the past few years have improved in quality and maturity. Maybe age does play a part - when you are of a certain age group, you meet like-minded people of a certain age group. Plus with the group gatherings I go to lately, where we bring our own friends to join in as well, even though I am still the youngest of the lot.
So how come there have not been any sparks since then, even though I would not have minded being ignited with some, yet not even one was lit? Why did sparks start igniting in all the wrong places instead of the right places?
I am not alone. The gathering on Friday night shows just how many successful, educated and intellectual people (not me though) are already in their thirties yet still single. When my friend said to bring our own friends along (only singles and straight males or females, no in between), I can think of at least seven friends who fit that category.
There are more of course, but I only asked seven whom I believe are quite open to meeting new people and comfortable in a group gathering. But one glance at my phonebook tells me at least half fits that category (and my contacts exceed a normal SIM card, so I have to transfer the rest to my phone, which amounts to about hundred.) If I had not deleted some away, the number will be much more.
So if I know so many who are single in their thirties, my friends, who are much better than me, definitely have many more others who fit that category and are as successful and intelligent as them, if not more.
No wonder the government is panicking! So why, when we no longer want to be in relationships just for the sake of it, and actually aim to settle down, is it then so much harder to find someone, despite us widening our social circles?
Recently there has been quite a number of social events organised by the various dating agencies. Maybe because Valentine's Day is coming, and maybe because they are responding to the government's concern on the growing number of singles in their thirties. Whatever it is, there are now more and more social events for singles to go to.
The thing is, in the past, or when one was young, it seemed so easy to find someone. I was in and out of relationships. Not that I have that many boyfriends or I keep changing partners. My relationships were pretty long-term. But I never found it hard to find another one after the previous one ended.
It was like sparks started igniting everywhere, even when I did not want them to be lit up. Even when my social circle was much smaller. There were only a handful guys I really know then. My previous guys were from school or introduced by friends or from work.
Then when my last relationship ended, I was in my late twenties. Since then, I have been unattached for the past few years. Even when my social circle is now much bigger. I got to know people through dating agencies, online, friends of friends, group outings with friends, social events, work. Quite a number of them are highly successful, articulate, interesting and intellectual. People who can hold conversations yet fun-loving at the same time.
Definitely the people I know in the past few years have improved in quality and maturity. Maybe age does play a part - when you are of a certain age group, you meet like-minded people of a certain age group. Plus with the group gatherings I go to lately, where we bring our own friends to join in as well, even though I am still the youngest of the lot.
So how come there have not been any sparks since then, even though I would not have minded being ignited with some, yet not even one was lit? Why did sparks start igniting in all the wrong places instead of the right places?
I am not alone. The gathering on Friday night shows just how many successful, educated and intellectual people (not me though) are already in their thirties yet still single. When my friend said to bring our own friends along (only singles and straight males or females, no in between), I can think of at least seven friends who fit that category.
There are more of course, but I only asked seven whom I believe are quite open to meeting new people and comfortable in a group gathering. But one glance at my phonebook tells me at least half fits that category (and my contacts exceed a normal SIM card, so I have to transfer the rest to my phone, which amounts to about hundred.) If I had not deleted some away, the number will be much more.
So if I know so many who are single in their thirties, my friends, who are much better than me, definitely have many more others who fit that category and are as successful and intelligent as them, if not more.
No wonder the government is panicking! So why, when we no longer want to be in relationships just for the sake of it, and actually aim to settle down, is it then so much harder to find someone, despite us widening our social circles?
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