Whenever I am in any of my sappy moods, I will start reading books and articles of the romance genre. Or I will start reading blogs which are moving and touching. I tend to enjoy reading blogs more because blogs talk about a person's life (at least some do), and it brings me back to reality after indulging in all the fantasies of stories and movies.
It makes me realise that people are real, not shown as perfect and wonderful, but real with flaws, emotions, feelings. People do make mistakes, some do have similar experiences with me, with what I had gone through in certain times of my life. So it makes me comforted that I am not alone.
It is actually not so hard to distinguish reality from fantasy. In books and movies, everything is perfect in the end. In real life things are not so easy. The ever perennial love story is more dramatic in reality than in just stories. It is so much more straight forward in stories - boy meets girl, they fall in love, have some misunderstandings, start having a cold war, then resolve the misunderstanding, realise their love is too strong to keep them apart, so start over and live happily ever after.
In reality, it is not the case. I have some friends who are very idealistic, thinking once you fall in love, it will be forever. It is true to a certain extent, but many a times, we do meet people at the wrong time. Both can be so right for each other, but somehow one party may not be as committed as the other one.
What next then? Should they even enter into a relationship, hoping to see where things go, or should they do the right thing and do not waste each other's time? If one party is more ready, the other is not, then perhaps it is best not to go into anything. People may say love should not have so many thoughts and considerations, otherwise it is not real love.
The thing is, how will you know both do not love each other? Not everyone is so ready to commit. There may be other factors, whether external or internal. So if I am not able to offer someone the kind of commitment he looks for, even though I may love him loads and care for him greatly, then it is best not to lead the person on. It is best to let him move on and find someone who have the same future goals as him.
Love is not to be taken lightly. It is not so easy as to just find someone to be with and that is it. If you are not willing or ready to commit and end a relationship in marriage, then perhaps it is best not to start anything. To each their own, but for me, especially at this age, especially after having emerged out of depression due to cads, I would want someone whom I can commit to totally and who shares the same values towards commitment for me, who feels ready and willing.
And that is being responsible, to myself, to my partner, to each other. Love is being responsible for the other person, for not leading anyone on, for giving my all to the other person. That is responsibility in love, at least to me! Like I read from Violet's latest post where she quoted a pastor's speech, "If you are not willing to put your spouse and marriage as top priority, then do not get married." Well said! The precursor to marriage is relationship, so if one is not willing to put your relationship and the person you chose as top priority, then do not be in one!
It makes me realise that people are real, not shown as perfect and wonderful, but real with flaws, emotions, feelings. People do make mistakes, some do have similar experiences with me, with what I had gone through in certain times of my life. So it makes me comforted that I am not alone.
It is actually not so hard to distinguish reality from fantasy. In books and movies, everything is perfect in the end. In real life things are not so easy. The ever perennial love story is more dramatic in reality than in just stories. It is so much more straight forward in stories - boy meets girl, they fall in love, have some misunderstandings, start having a cold war, then resolve the misunderstanding, realise their love is too strong to keep them apart, so start over and live happily ever after.
In reality, it is not the case. I have some friends who are very idealistic, thinking once you fall in love, it will be forever. It is true to a certain extent, but many a times, we do meet people at the wrong time. Both can be so right for each other, but somehow one party may not be as committed as the other one.
What next then? Should they even enter into a relationship, hoping to see where things go, or should they do the right thing and do not waste each other's time? If one party is more ready, the other is not, then perhaps it is best not to go into anything. People may say love should not have so many thoughts and considerations, otherwise it is not real love.
The thing is, how will you know both do not love each other? Not everyone is so ready to commit. There may be other factors, whether external or internal. So if I am not able to offer someone the kind of commitment he looks for, even though I may love him loads and care for him greatly, then it is best not to lead the person on. It is best to let him move on and find someone who have the same future goals as him.
Love is not to be taken lightly. It is not so easy as to just find someone to be with and that is it. If you are not willing or ready to commit and end a relationship in marriage, then perhaps it is best not to start anything. To each their own, but for me, especially at this age, especially after having emerged out of depression due to cads, I would want someone whom I can commit to totally and who shares the same values towards commitment for me, who feels ready and willing.
And that is being responsible, to myself, to my partner, to each other. Love is being responsible for the other person, for not leading anyone on, for giving my all to the other person. That is responsibility in love, at least to me! Like I read from Violet's latest post where she quoted a pastor's speech, "If you are not willing to put your spouse and marriage as top priority, then do not get married." Well said! The precursor to marriage is relationship, so if one is not willing to put your relationship and the person you chose as top priority, then do not be in one!
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