I believe quite a number have expressed surprise at me being in a new relationship. Afterall, I probably give people the impression that if I enter into one again, the guy must be tall, dark, handsome, articulate, high-flier, with high levels of IQ, EQ and FQ. Yes, someone too good to be true, and probably is.
When one is just in a relationship and living day to day is different than when one is in a relationship with the intention to commit. I am a typical woman too, what makes others think I do not like a good life? I grow up on a landed property, chauffeur-driven everywhere when I was young, have a maid all my life. I never need to do anything in the house, save for the times when my maid was not around.
Even in my adult years, I have had guys who have been pretty generous with me, drive me around everywhere, let me live the high life. I do get nice stuff now and then. I go travelling once a year at least. I see other guys being generous with their girlfriends' and wives' friends too! I am used to the kind of treatment where I say I like something, and the next moment, someone bought it as a surprise for me! So who says I do not like this kind of life? I deserve this kind of life, something I have been used to!
But then are material aspects really that important? He may not be a high flier, he does not even have a car. He cannot afford my kind of "luxurious" lifestyle. So what? We just walk everywhere and take public transport. He may probably never give me the kind of life where I can live on supplementary credit cards and just be a homemaker, but so what? I just have to work and slog my life away, manage my own finances and try to balance between work and family, like what my mum has been doing.
And I just have to get things myself, and not expect anyone to shower me with any gifts. We probably may not even have a maid, but so what? I just have to start doing housework, start cooking and cleaning. And maybe go travelling once every two years instead of once a year.
My mum did it, in her early life. She went to work, did all the housework, took public transport everywhere. My girlfriends are doing it. Work, housework, public transport, taking care of husbands. And my girlfriends are not exactly heartlander flat dwellers as well. So what is it that they can do but I cannot? Do not forget, I come from a long line of strong and capable women, starting from both my grandmothers!
We can always dream of the kind of life we like, but in reality, how many of us are that fortunate to be with someone so established? In fact, there may be more problems being with established men. The more successful a man is, the more chauvinistic and arrogant he is. The richer a man gets, the more he is unwilling to compromise as he has a whole lot of beautiful young things around him. These men care more for themselves than the woman next to them.
He may not be able to give me a wealthy life, but what he can give me more than exceeds that other men can. He is always there when I need. He is the first guy that actually goes grocery shopping with me, stays in the kitchen and watch me cook, accompany me and wait for me when I go to the salon to do my hair, or do facial, or slimming, or manicure and pedicure.
He even escorted me to my friend's wedding in the early afternoon, then hung around nearby and waited for me until the wedding ended late in the night! Ten hours altogether! I asked if he would be bored, and he said no as all he needs is a good book. He will even go to musicals, operas and dance performances with me!
Comparatively, other guys will get impatient, as they will take it as a big waste of their time. A time when they could do their own things, or "better things to do" like jogging, or making money, or even playing computer games. And do not drag them to theatres as they will fall asleep.
But not him. Everywhere I go, he will escort me. Everything I do, he will be by my side and doing with me. Even when I want to just go home, he will go home with me, have dinner at my place, talk to my parents and then walk back to his place (twenty-five minutes away).
And he always puts my feelings first. He will soothe me when I am unhappy. Other guys will just go away and leave me alone so they will not put up with my "tantrum", even when I was very justified to be angry because of mis-treatment!
Most importantly, he is flexible, even when his schedule is disrupted, he would just go along and not kick up a big fuss, unlike other guys who would go ballistic whenever there were some changes to what they planned.
Which is why despite everything, I still chose him. I can forever wait for the perfect guy to land on my feet (which is not possible in the first place), but by doing that, I am giving up a chance to be with someone who really put me and my happiness as a top priority, something which other guys have never done and will never do. Someone who views me as someone really important and never want to lose me.
I have always wanted someone really into me, who can tolerate all my quirks, antics and loudness. Now that I finally found someone like this, how can I let the chance slip? Afterall what can be any better than a guy who truly love you so much that he does not mind putting in all the effort to keep you and not lose you?
To tell the truth, he is the one putting in more effort, I am rather laid back this time round. But I always believe, if the guy really loves you, he will be the one more keen to keep the relationship going, no matter what you do. So it is a good feeling to be laid back and enjoy the chase for once!
When one is just in a relationship and living day to day is different than when one is in a relationship with the intention to commit. I am a typical woman too, what makes others think I do not like a good life? I grow up on a landed property, chauffeur-driven everywhere when I was young, have a maid all my life. I never need to do anything in the house, save for the times when my maid was not around.
Even in my adult years, I have had guys who have been pretty generous with me, drive me around everywhere, let me live the high life. I do get nice stuff now and then. I go travelling once a year at least. I see other guys being generous with their girlfriends' and wives' friends too! I am used to the kind of treatment where I say I like something, and the next moment, someone bought it as a surprise for me! So who says I do not like this kind of life? I deserve this kind of life, something I have been used to!
But then are material aspects really that important? He may not be a high flier, he does not even have a car. He cannot afford my kind of "luxurious" lifestyle. So what? We just walk everywhere and take public transport. He may probably never give me the kind of life where I can live on supplementary credit cards and just be a homemaker, but so what? I just have to work and slog my life away, manage my own finances and try to balance between work and family, like what my mum has been doing.
And I just have to get things myself, and not expect anyone to shower me with any gifts. We probably may not even have a maid, but so what? I just have to start doing housework, start cooking and cleaning. And maybe go travelling once every two years instead of once a year.
My mum did it, in her early life. She went to work, did all the housework, took public transport everywhere. My girlfriends are doing it. Work, housework, public transport, taking care of husbands. And my girlfriends are not exactly heartlander flat dwellers as well. So what is it that they can do but I cannot? Do not forget, I come from a long line of strong and capable women, starting from both my grandmothers!
We can always dream of the kind of life we like, but in reality, how many of us are that fortunate to be with someone so established? In fact, there may be more problems being with established men. The more successful a man is, the more chauvinistic and arrogant he is. The richer a man gets, the more he is unwilling to compromise as he has a whole lot of beautiful young things around him. These men care more for themselves than the woman next to them.
He may not be able to give me a wealthy life, but what he can give me more than exceeds that other men can. He is always there when I need. He is the first guy that actually goes grocery shopping with me, stays in the kitchen and watch me cook, accompany me and wait for me when I go to the salon to do my hair, or do facial, or slimming, or manicure and pedicure.
He even escorted me to my friend's wedding in the early afternoon, then hung around nearby and waited for me until the wedding ended late in the night! Ten hours altogether! I asked if he would be bored, and he said no as all he needs is a good book. He will even go to musicals, operas and dance performances with me!
Comparatively, other guys will get impatient, as they will take it as a big waste of their time. A time when they could do their own things, or "better things to do" like jogging, or making money, or even playing computer games. And do not drag them to theatres as they will fall asleep.
But not him. Everywhere I go, he will escort me. Everything I do, he will be by my side and doing with me. Even when I want to just go home, he will go home with me, have dinner at my place, talk to my parents and then walk back to his place (twenty-five minutes away).
And he always puts my feelings first. He will soothe me when I am unhappy. Other guys will just go away and leave me alone so they will not put up with my "tantrum", even when I was very justified to be angry because of mis-treatment!
Most importantly, he is flexible, even when his schedule is disrupted, he would just go along and not kick up a big fuss, unlike other guys who would go ballistic whenever there were some changes to what they planned.
Which is why despite everything, I still chose him. I can forever wait for the perfect guy to land on my feet (which is not possible in the first place), but by doing that, I am giving up a chance to be with someone who really put me and my happiness as a top priority, something which other guys have never done and will never do. Someone who views me as someone really important and never want to lose me.
I have always wanted someone really into me, who can tolerate all my quirks, antics and loudness. Now that I finally found someone like this, how can I let the chance slip? Afterall what can be any better than a guy who truly love you so much that he does not mind putting in all the effort to keep you and not lose you?
To tell the truth, he is the one putting in more effort, I am rather laid back this time round. But I always believe, if the guy really loves you, he will be the one more keen to keep the relationship going, no matter what you do. So it is a good feeling to be laid back and enjoy the chase for once!
3 comments:
I tihnk effort should come from both people, since relationships are about ... erm ... two people.
I've mentioend it befoire, for me, a relationship is a 100%-100% commitment. Not 50-50 like so many people prefer. It has to be 100-100 because on the days when one cannot give 100%, there is still overlap. f the relationship is 50-50, then on days when one or the other cannot give their 50%, then there is a gap.
But, on the other hand, we cannot always be throwing ourselves at the other person, giving up everything in the hope of some small return. So, it is good to hear that he is considerate of you and willing to tolerate and do things for you. I hope you also reciprocate.
Thanks for your concern. I do reciprocate. I don't believe in just one party giving and the other party taking. What I mean is comparing to the other guys I've gone out with, he's more willing to do things for me, as in the past it was always me doing things for the guys and they taking for granted. Hence all the more I will appreciate him for that.
Great, because that is the way it should be. I often find people (mostly women) going out of their way to please a guy and not getting anything in return but heartache.
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