Just two weeks into my new tutoring assignment, I got an email that really made my blood boil. In case I have not mentioned, in this new assignment, I was to tutor a four-year-old Russian girl, who is in kindergarten. Each session is one hour, which is nothing much I can really do during that time. Further more, she could not sit still, like any other child her age.
But instead of ensuring the girl got all the discipline, the parents blamed me for not teaching her how to read after two lessons and wanted to terminate the class. In the first place, can any child learn to read in just two hours? In the second place, the parents speak rather good English themselves, so instead of relying on external help, why could they not start off on their home?
But this is not the only family. During my own days in the education industry, I have come across many instances where parents rely on teachers and tutors to ensure the kids do well, without the parents themselves chipping in. Teachers and tutors can only do so much, but the very people whom the kids take after and look up to are the parents. Hence the foremost educator of the children are actually their own parents.
Now in this day of outsourcing, many parents conveniently outsource their children's education and upbringing to external parties. But humans are not like a job or a machine. One can outsource a job, a machine, any other technological gadgets, but one simply cannot outsource education and upbringing of the children. Despite teachers, tutors, domestic helpers and whatnot, parents still play the most fundamental role in the cultivating of the children.
I know everyone is busy. Nowadays everyone work late. Many travel frequently for work. Everyone is struggling making ends meet. We do not even have time for ourselves, let alone for other people. I can understand a little. Which is why many prefer not to have children or have just one just so they do not get more emotionally taxed than usual.
But still, if a couple chooses to have children, then it is their responsibility to bring up the child, is it not? A parent's love is not just bringing in money and buying the best things for the child, it is also the time spent to cultivate, nurture, communicate and educate the child. What is the use of having a child only to neglect or place him in the care of someone else?
I cannot profess I am that well-brought up, but I believe my mum did a good enough job. Even though she still thinks she can control my life, but still, without her, I can never be who I am. She was the one who cultivated my love for reading, who tried to bring me up bilingually, who tried to inculcate the right values in me, who tried to bring me up as a good person.
And I think she has succeeded somewhat. I am not flawless, but at least I have no vices and I am pretty grounded in my values, because they have been inculcated since young. Even though I always wish she can be more open-minded and not the ultra conservative typical kind of Asian parent, still I think I am not a bad person per se.
Hence the parents play the most part. If they do not spend time with the kids, who can they blame if the kids grow up not being close to them? Similarly, if parents themselves do not read, how are they going to cultivate readers? I am lucky in the sense that both my parents love to read, so since young, I have been surrounded by books, but I know most of my friends do not read. As in do not read for leisure, they only read on how to make more money or how to make their investment grow instead of real fiction leisure reading, and the heavy literature I read.
And I feel sad for their own kids, because if both the parents do not read, they will not introduce books to the kids since young, and the kids grow up not knowing the joy of flipping page after page digesting a good book, and spend the time playing violent computer games, where they may grow up becoming mass murderers or shallow in their thinking.
Thus cultivating readers start from parents themselves, and have to start from young. Even if I cannot remember everything else my parents ever did for me, the only thing I can really remember is they cultivated my love for reading. I mean reading books and not reading from the internet or a computer screen. And that is something I intend to pass on, and hopefully my own future children will pass on too.
But instead of ensuring the girl got all the discipline, the parents blamed me for not teaching her how to read after two lessons and wanted to terminate the class. In the first place, can any child learn to read in just two hours? In the second place, the parents speak rather good English themselves, so instead of relying on external help, why could they not start off on their home?
But this is not the only family. During my own days in the education industry, I have come across many instances where parents rely on teachers and tutors to ensure the kids do well, without the parents themselves chipping in. Teachers and tutors can only do so much, but the very people whom the kids take after and look up to are the parents. Hence the foremost educator of the children are actually their own parents.
Now in this day of outsourcing, many parents conveniently outsource their children's education and upbringing to external parties. But humans are not like a job or a machine. One can outsource a job, a machine, any other technological gadgets, but one simply cannot outsource education and upbringing of the children. Despite teachers, tutors, domestic helpers and whatnot, parents still play the most fundamental role in the cultivating of the children.
I know everyone is busy. Nowadays everyone work late. Many travel frequently for work. Everyone is struggling making ends meet. We do not even have time for ourselves, let alone for other people. I can understand a little. Which is why many prefer not to have children or have just one just so they do not get more emotionally taxed than usual.
But still, if a couple chooses to have children, then it is their responsibility to bring up the child, is it not? A parent's love is not just bringing in money and buying the best things for the child, it is also the time spent to cultivate, nurture, communicate and educate the child. What is the use of having a child only to neglect or place him in the care of someone else?
I cannot profess I am that well-brought up, but I believe my mum did a good enough job. Even though she still thinks she can control my life, but still, without her, I can never be who I am. She was the one who cultivated my love for reading, who tried to bring me up bilingually, who tried to inculcate the right values in me, who tried to bring me up as a good person.
And I think she has succeeded somewhat. I am not flawless, but at least I have no vices and I am pretty grounded in my values, because they have been inculcated since young. Even though I always wish she can be more open-minded and not the ultra conservative typical kind of Asian parent, still I think I am not a bad person per se.
Hence the parents play the most part. If they do not spend time with the kids, who can they blame if the kids grow up not being close to them? Similarly, if parents themselves do not read, how are they going to cultivate readers? I am lucky in the sense that both my parents love to read, so since young, I have been surrounded by books, but I know most of my friends do not read. As in do not read for leisure, they only read on how to make more money or how to make their investment grow instead of real fiction leisure reading, and the heavy literature I read.
And I feel sad for their own kids, because if both the parents do not read, they will not introduce books to the kids since young, and the kids grow up not knowing the joy of flipping page after page digesting a good book, and spend the time playing violent computer games, where they may grow up becoming mass murderers or shallow in their thinking.
Thus cultivating readers start from parents themselves, and have to start from young. Even if I cannot remember everything else my parents ever did for me, the only thing I can really remember is they cultivated my love for reading. I mean reading books and not reading from the internet or a computer screen. And that is something I intend to pass on, and hopefully my own future children will pass on too.
0 comments:
Post a Comment