Lilypie

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

More Generation Gap?

Do you not just hate it if your parents try to run and control your life? I mean, how old am I already, does my mum think I do not know what to do with my life? I spent so long building up a career, which I can say the level of success I wanted in this area is almost there. I spent so long searching for a soulmate, which I think I have found but sometimes I do have my doubts. I spent so long battling with self-esteem issues, which to me this has already been over and done with, or at least I hope so.

So why would my parents still think I do not know how to run my life and want to interject and plan my future for me? What I do now and in the future is my own business, is it not? It is my life, not theirs. It is my own preference, not theirs. So what if I follow my own way and not go according to theirs?

Just like this morning, my mum asked when do I intend to settle down. Erh.... I will settle down when I feel like settling down, and not because anyone ask me to. In any case, it is not as if I am going to drag on for life. I have my own plan too.

But she said, if he does not intend to do anything, then break up and move on. Does not intend to do what? No doubt there is no time limit on when to settle down, but still, I am the girl after all. Should I be so desperate to ask him to marry me and scare him away? In any case it is not as if he does not want to get married, but just because he is not as quick or proactive does not mean we do not have our own plans, although not in fruition yet.

Worst thing is that, my mum says better get married this year, then I can have a kid next year, then another kid two years after, and that is it. Stop at two. Okay... since when did my parents get into the habit of not only planning my life, but my entire family too? Should this not be done of my own preference? Even if I get married and not have kids or have whatever number of kids, it is my business, and not anyone else's.

And then she says I need to solve my housing issue. I said I have some areas which I am looking into, but the flats are not built yet, so until then, I am still treading and looking around. She says if they are not built, then go rent a place or get a second hand place! Why do I have to spend years waiting for a new place?

I am the one who is going to get my own place in the near future! Should I not have the right to decide where to live and what type of property to live in? Why should she even decide that for me? I cannot stand renting, as one have to put up with the landlord's terms and conditions. Even if the whole place is being sublet, I am still not the legal owner, hence there will somehow be restrictions.

As for second hand, how would I know what kind of people stayed in there before? What if someone was ever murdered or committed suicide in the place before? What if the place used to be a prostitution den? What if the place used to be occupied by foreign workers who did nothing but smoke, drink and copulate?

At least in getting a brand new place, I know what I am getting, and I can relish the feeling of owning my own place, somewhere where I can stay for a long while yet, somewhere I feel proud to raise my kids in, instead of some dodgy place where one has no idea of the background.

I told my mum, if I am to get married, it will be done properly because it will only be once in my lifetime. Hence I intend to have a church wedding. That is something that cannot be compromised. And I want to choose the church to marry in, and not just any mere church. Unfortunately, churches are normally fully booked, so even if I do want to get married this year (which is not the case), it is too late to book the church for this year, so even if I want to, I have to book for next year.

Then she said, why must I marry in church? Why not just go to the office of the marriage registry, sign the legal papers and that is it? Arrrrghhhh! Why must she even control how and when I intend to get married? It is my life, my decision, do I not have the right to do it my way, just for once?

Sometimes I really cannot fathom parents! Why do they have to control everything, even when it is the biggest decision of your own life and not theirs?

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