I was supposed to go for a Deepavali lunch tomorrow at my friend's place, but it was cancelled due to poor response, probably postponed to another day.
It is rather a relief to me that the lunch is cancelled. I enjoy the gathering, as it is almost a yearly affair, and I have known my friend for such a long time. He was the one that brought my third ex and I together, and never once blamed me or took sides when we parted.
But it is a relief because he is a poor organiser. I should not say "organiser", but he is not one to keep to timing. If he says twelve noon, the lunch will start only at two at the earliest. Which means those who arrive at twelve exactly will have to sit around in hunger waiting for lunch to be served. And for me, I have better things to do than just sit around and wait for people.
I am not saying I hate waiting for people. It is ok if I have nothing on afterwards, then we can all hang around and catch up with each other. But it is irritating if someone has something on afterwards, and the entire schedule is disrupted just because one was expected at twelve yet did not get anything done until three or so.
For instance, if I go to his place for lunch at twelve, I would sort of assume the lunch would start at twelve or one at the latest, and then I schedule something at two-thirty or so. Am I being unreasonable for doing that? Personally I do not think so. If you expect someone at a certain time, then jolly well start on time, or not more than an hour late.
So if I reach at twelve, and nothing was ready and it was only at two before the lunch really starts, my appointment at two-thirty will then have to be cancelled or postponed, provided my friend does not have anything later as well. So not only my schedule is disrupted, but other people's as well. And it is unfair to others if I delay their appointment just because my original appointment is delayed for no reason.
Of course, I can just go off, but if I do that, then my friend will be so embarrassed, since I am not the only friend there. And if others can wait, so why can I not? Besides, I did promise him to attend his lunch gathering, so it will be uncool of me if I just go off.
This is not the first time this happened. The previous few times when I went to his house for Deepavali gathering, be it lunch or dinner, it is always the case. The first few times I did not mind waiting as I had nothing scheduled the rest of the day.
The last time I almost got into trouble. He invited me to his place for Deepavali dinner, and I went with my third ex and his mum. The dinner was stated at seven-thirty, and by the time we reached there, it was eight. Apparently, his mum had not even started cooking.
So we amused ourselves by watching video discs, playing computer games, and chatting with each other. It was nine-thirty when dinner finally started, and I was already in a frenzy as I told my mum I would be home by ten.
I called my mum and told her I would be delayed, and said the dinner had not started. She scolded me as to why the dinner had not started, and could I just go off? But since I was there, it was not nice to go off.
By the time dinner ended, it was ten-thirty. I did not mean to go off immediately after dinner, as it would make it seem as if I went there just for the food, but I had no choice since it was really late and the journey back to my place would take an hour by train and half an hour by cab.
So I said I needed to go. My third ex told me to stay a while more, he said he would hitch a cab back with me later, but I said I really needed to go, he could stay if he wanted but I had to go. He and his mum then left together with me, and on the way back, he kept chastising me for being so rude and leaving immediately after eating.
He told me why not explain to my mum? I did try to explain to her, but my mum is the type that if she says seven, people have to arrive fifteen minutes earlier as she will start straight on the dot. So even if it is any of my relatives or friends' meal gatherings, she always made sure we arrive ten minutes earlier than the stipulated time.
So she will never understand why a dinner can start at nine-thirty when it was stated at seven-thirty. I guess I cannot blame her in this respect. I cannot really blame my friend too as he was the host after all, and by right, no one should start before the host gives the nod.
It is up to others how they want to play host, but for me, if I give a party or gathering, I will make sure that it starts on time and everything was prepared before that or at the stipulated time. Otherwise, it will inconvenience people if things get delayed.
It is rather a relief to me that the lunch is cancelled. I enjoy the gathering, as it is almost a yearly affair, and I have known my friend for such a long time. He was the one that brought my third ex and I together, and never once blamed me or took sides when we parted.
But it is a relief because he is a poor organiser. I should not say "organiser", but he is not one to keep to timing. If he says twelve noon, the lunch will start only at two at the earliest. Which means those who arrive at twelve exactly will have to sit around in hunger waiting for lunch to be served. And for me, I have better things to do than just sit around and wait for people.
I am not saying I hate waiting for people. It is ok if I have nothing on afterwards, then we can all hang around and catch up with each other. But it is irritating if someone has something on afterwards, and the entire schedule is disrupted just because one was expected at twelve yet did not get anything done until three or so.
For instance, if I go to his place for lunch at twelve, I would sort of assume the lunch would start at twelve or one at the latest, and then I schedule something at two-thirty or so. Am I being unreasonable for doing that? Personally I do not think so. If you expect someone at a certain time, then jolly well start on time, or not more than an hour late.
So if I reach at twelve, and nothing was ready and it was only at two before the lunch really starts, my appointment at two-thirty will then have to be cancelled or postponed, provided my friend does not have anything later as well. So not only my schedule is disrupted, but other people's as well. And it is unfair to others if I delay their appointment just because my original appointment is delayed for no reason.
Of course, I can just go off, but if I do that, then my friend will be so embarrassed, since I am not the only friend there. And if others can wait, so why can I not? Besides, I did promise him to attend his lunch gathering, so it will be uncool of me if I just go off.
This is not the first time this happened. The previous few times when I went to his house for Deepavali gathering, be it lunch or dinner, it is always the case. The first few times I did not mind waiting as I had nothing scheduled the rest of the day.
The last time I almost got into trouble. He invited me to his place for Deepavali dinner, and I went with my third ex and his mum. The dinner was stated at seven-thirty, and by the time we reached there, it was eight. Apparently, his mum had not even started cooking.
So we amused ourselves by watching video discs, playing computer games, and chatting with each other. It was nine-thirty when dinner finally started, and I was already in a frenzy as I told my mum I would be home by ten.
I called my mum and told her I would be delayed, and said the dinner had not started. She scolded me as to why the dinner had not started, and could I just go off? But since I was there, it was not nice to go off.
By the time dinner ended, it was ten-thirty. I did not mean to go off immediately after dinner, as it would make it seem as if I went there just for the food, but I had no choice since it was really late and the journey back to my place would take an hour by train and half an hour by cab.
So I said I needed to go. My third ex told me to stay a while more, he said he would hitch a cab back with me later, but I said I really needed to go, he could stay if he wanted but I had to go. He and his mum then left together with me, and on the way back, he kept chastising me for being so rude and leaving immediately after eating.
He told me why not explain to my mum? I did try to explain to her, but my mum is the type that if she says seven, people have to arrive fifteen minutes earlier as she will start straight on the dot. So even if it is any of my relatives or friends' meal gatherings, she always made sure we arrive ten minutes earlier than the stipulated time.
So she will never understand why a dinner can start at nine-thirty when it was stated at seven-thirty. I guess I cannot blame her in this respect. I cannot really blame my friend too as he was the host after all, and by right, no one should start before the host gives the nod.
It is up to others how they want to play host, but for me, if I give a party or gathering, I will make sure that it starts on time and everything was prepared before that or at the stipulated time. Otherwise, it will inconvenience people if things get delayed.
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