The kids I took care of on Sunday stayed at a Children's Home next to an Old Folks' Home. According to the House Mother, there are more workers and volunteers going to the Children's Home instead of the Old Folks' Home. Thus, the Old Folks' Home is always short of helpers.
I guess it can be that people's impressions are that between kids and the elderly, they will prefer the former anytime. Kids can be boisterous and demanding, but to a certain extent, not so much as old folks.
To many people, it is indeed a chore taking care of old folks. About a decade ago, there was this debate going around with adult children abandoning their elderly parents, which led to the Maintenance of Parents Act. As a result, any child (legitimate, illegitimate, biological, adopted, step) has to repay his / her parents for giving birth and taking care of him / her.
When the Bill first came along, there was an uproar. The elderly, especially those who have been neglected by their adult children, applauded the government for approving this Bill; but some of the children ridiculed the Bill.
Some said how they treat their parents are of no one's concern, and it was not that they did not care, they just did not have the time. Some said that things have got to such a sad state that taking care of parents, which should have been the children's responsibility and obligation in the first place, had to be made compulsory.
Of course, taking care of our own parents next time when they get old should be our responsibility. After all, they brought us into this world, took care of us, ensured we were given the best (generally) and stood by us no matter what happened. The least we can do is to take care and be responsible for them when they become old and sickly.
But it is not easy taking care of an elderly person. I saw how my late grandfather was struck by Alzheimer's disease, I saw how his body deteriorated, so much so that he even lost control of his own bodily functions.
We were still young, my parents are working full-time, and our maid have us and my grandma (although she was healthy and good then) to take care of, especially since my youngest brother was only a toddler then. Thus, my parents had no choice but to send him to a nursing home where he could be given full attention and care from qualified care-givers.
Does it mean to say that my parents are mean and unfilial for "dumping" my grandfather in a nursing home? I did not realise it then, but now I know it probably pained my parents too to see my grandfather in such a helpless state.
I remember we used to visit him every weekend, bringing porridge and soup and necessities, and he would always be so happy to see us. My parents even paid extra to ensure he had the best care and facilities. I was not sure exactly just how he took to my parents sending him to a nursing home, but whatever it was, I hope he understood why they had to do that then.
Strangely, two of my exs had totally opposite reactions when I told them about this, long after my grandpa had departed this world. One of them said my parents were totally unfilial, he would never dream of dumping any of his parents at any old folks home, as it is the responsibility of the kids to take care of the parents.
The other one had no qualms doing that. His dad suffers from diabetes, and his condition would worsen the older he gets. When it gets to a stage where his dad is no longer able to take care of himself, he would bring his dad to a nursing home to receive utmost care and treatment.
Up to now, I am still not sure whether it is right to just "dump" one's parents at a nursing home, and only visit them once in a while. But one thing I do know is that the older one gets, the more difficult it is to live with the person.
I have lived with babies, young kids and old folks. I have seen how my youngest brother grow and how my grandma is getting more and more frail. And honestly I feel it is still much easier taking care of kids than old folks.
Kids grow up fast, within a matter of years they are of the age to take care of themselves. Whereas once an elderly person gets weaker, more and more problems will suffice, and he / she can be in this state for years.
My grandma is getting more and more difficult to live with. She goes around scolding everyone. There is no reasoning with her sometimes. One thing good is that she can at least still move around on her own and controls her own functions, so in a way, it is not that hard to take care of her.
Thus I can fully understand if most people prefer kids to the elderly. It takes someone really really patient, tolerant and accommodating to be able to take care of the elderly very well.
I guess it can be that people's impressions are that between kids and the elderly, they will prefer the former anytime. Kids can be boisterous and demanding, but to a certain extent, not so much as old folks.
To many people, it is indeed a chore taking care of old folks. About a decade ago, there was this debate going around with adult children abandoning their elderly parents, which led to the Maintenance of Parents Act. As a result, any child (legitimate, illegitimate, biological, adopted, step) has to repay his / her parents for giving birth and taking care of him / her.
When the Bill first came along, there was an uproar. The elderly, especially those who have been neglected by their adult children, applauded the government for approving this Bill; but some of the children ridiculed the Bill.
Some said how they treat their parents are of no one's concern, and it was not that they did not care, they just did not have the time. Some said that things have got to such a sad state that taking care of parents, which should have been the children's responsibility and obligation in the first place, had to be made compulsory.
Of course, taking care of our own parents next time when they get old should be our responsibility. After all, they brought us into this world, took care of us, ensured we were given the best (generally) and stood by us no matter what happened. The least we can do is to take care and be responsible for them when they become old and sickly.
But it is not easy taking care of an elderly person. I saw how my late grandfather was struck by Alzheimer's disease, I saw how his body deteriorated, so much so that he even lost control of his own bodily functions.
We were still young, my parents are working full-time, and our maid have us and my grandma (although she was healthy and good then) to take care of, especially since my youngest brother was only a toddler then. Thus, my parents had no choice but to send him to a nursing home where he could be given full attention and care from qualified care-givers.
Does it mean to say that my parents are mean and unfilial for "dumping" my grandfather in a nursing home? I did not realise it then, but now I know it probably pained my parents too to see my grandfather in such a helpless state.
I remember we used to visit him every weekend, bringing porridge and soup and necessities, and he would always be so happy to see us. My parents even paid extra to ensure he had the best care and facilities. I was not sure exactly just how he took to my parents sending him to a nursing home, but whatever it was, I hope he understood why they had to do that then.
Strangely, two of my exs had totally opposite reactions when I told them about this, long after my grandpa had departed this world. One of them said my parents were totally unfilial, he would never dream of dumping any of his parents at any old folks home, as it is the responsibility of the kids to take care of the parents.
The other one had no qualms doing that. His dad suffers from diabetes, and his condition would worsen the older he gets. When it gets to a stage where his dad is no longer able to take care of himself, he would bring his dad to a nursing home to receive utmost care and treatment.
Up to now, I am still not sure whether it is right to just "dump" one's parents at a nursing home, and only visit them once in a while. But one thing I do know is that the older one gets, the more difficult it is to live with the person.
I have lived with babies, young kids and old folks. I have seen how my youngest brother grow and how my grandma is getting more and more frail. And honestly I feel it is still much easier taking care of kids than old folks.
Kids grow up fast, within a matter of years they are of the age to take care of themselves. Whereas once an elderly person gets weaker, more and more problems will suffice, and he / she can be in this state for years.
My grandma is getting more and more difficult to live with. She goes around scolding everyone. There is no reasoning with her sometimes. One thing good is that she can at least still move around on her own and controls her own functions, so in a way, it is not that hard to take care of her.
Thus I can fully understand if most people prefer kids to the elderly. It takes someone really really patient, tolerant and accommodating to be able to take care of the elderly very well.
0 comments:
Post a Comment