Lilypie

Friday, November 24, 2006

Right, But Not Happy ....

Is it better to be right but not happy? Or is it better to be happy but not right? What is right and what is wrong anyway? What we know as right and wrong has been inculcated in us since young, and why is that so? Because society (and generations before us) deem certain things as right and acceptable behaviour, and others as wrong and unacceptable behaviour.

For instance, is it wrong to love a person wholeheartedly, unconditionally and senselessly? Must I love someone just because everyone deems him as "right" for me? Right in what sense anyway? In terms of qualifications, career, social status?

Why can I not love someone just because everyone deems him as "wrong" for me? Wrong in what sense? Just because he has no money or career or has a complicated history? If I am to love someone based on this, then there will never be a "right" person, because there will always be people with better qualifications, better career and higher social status.

There have been a lot of things I have done "right", in a lot of people's eyes. But frankly, I am not really happy after I have done them. I prefer to do what is termed as "wrong" but I will be happy.

For instance, people say that it is right to be in the science stream, right to go to university and get a degree, right to take up a certain type of job. But what they want is not what I want, yet I have never really lived life the way I wanted.

Thus I have been unhappy in some ways. There have been so many things I regretted doing, and regretted not doing. And looking back, if I have done (or not done) all those things, perhaps I would have been looked down upon, would have been labelled as a rebel, but I would have been happy!

Of course, I am not saying that anything that makes one happy is definitely right. If people are to take up smoking or drugs or gambling or a die-hard alcoholic, then that is wrong as it is not just hazardous to one's own health, it is also a big turn-off to others around them. What harms others will never be right, and should not be condoned.

What I am saying is that people deem being a professional like a lawyer or doctor or engineer or accountant, is the "right" thing to do, and not things like a musician or artist or in the performing arts or having a career taking care of animals. But I would rather give up all the "right" jobs and do something "wrong" in their eyes as I would have been happier.

And people tell me that someone like me would be better off being with someone who is more professional, as that would be the "right" person for me. But all the money in the world, or how highly-qualified the person is, will not count for anything if he is not able to make me happy or trigger off strong feelings in me.

Must I do the "right" things just so others can be happy? Can I not do the "wrong" things and make myself happy? Is it more important to live life for others or for myself? At the risk of sounding terribly selfish and self-centred, at times I wonder is it better to make myself happy instead of bothering so much how others view me or expect of me?

2 comments:

eric 3824 said...

I think right or wrong it depend ! Certain thing/doing can be right to one but wrong to another person ! But whether right or wrong......I would suggest individual to choose their own path/decision and not chosen by others. In addition, don't choose something that will make you regret!

juphelia said...

Very true indeed!

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