A conversation with a friend last weekend got me thinking : Why would some people want to lie about their status? And its mostly those who are already attached or married that lie about their status.
Singletons will mostly say they are single. I, for sure, will never lie about my status (unless I am trying to fend off perverts, in which case I will pretend that one of my close guy friends is my "boyfriend" and apologise to him later for "using" him.)
Even if I am attached, I will never lie about my status. If I have a boyfriend or going to get married, I will declare. There is nothing to hide, and besides, being attached or married is the most wonderful thing in the world because you have found someone who loves you and willing to spend his / her life with you. What can be better than that?
So I can never understand why there are people who deliberately hide their status. If they are married, they do not wish to disclose. I wonder how the spouse will feel. Worse is that they hide their status, and still go around looking for love, and sex, be it online or offline.
Then there are others who are already attached, yet never remove their online profiles from dating websites, never put their dating memberships on hold, and still accept dates and people looking for love.
Why would people want to do that if they have already found someone? Will that not be a betrayal of some form? Betrayal need not necessarily mean just committing adultery or two-timing, having sex or loving more than one person at the same time. (By the way, is it really possible to love more than one person at the same time?)
Betrayal can also mean not declaring that one is already attached, and still leave the profile as "single" and accepting more dates. It is one thing making more friends, but if one is already attached, should one not remove the profile from any dating site or agency?
Afterall, if one is already going out exclusively with someone, should the time, energy and effort not be concentrated on the date instead of opening up to options? If one is still dating a person casually, then it is nothing wrong being open to more dates, but if both are already officially together and dating each other exclusively, then it is not ethical to look for further options, unless things do not work out and you are back to the dating scene.
Some time ago, a friend was quite angry with a certain matchmaking agency. I am not sure which agency it is, but he said when he tried out the services, the few girls he met there are all attached, yet still went out to meet him.
Well, attached (and married) females can have male friends, but it is one thing having male friends whom you have known from long ago, or meeting new people through work and friends, and another thing altogether meeting new male friends from dating sites and agencies.
The same goes with males as well. It is one thing having female friends from long ago, or meeting new people through work and leisure, and another thing altogether meeting people online and through dating services when one is already attached.
A friend's friend happened to come across her fiance's online profile recently. They met through an online dating site, and while signing up for her sister, she saw that his profile was still active and he still put his status as "single" instead of "attached" or "engaged". She was really angry and upset about it, as she had long deleted her profile ever since they got together.
Perhaps to some people, they may find it no big deal. Afterall, anyone can say anything on an online portal. But then if you are attached, why not just say so? Is it such a bad thing to say? If it is such a bad thing being attached, then why bother getting attached in the first place? If it is a happy thing, then why not declare?
Singletons will mostly say they are single. I, for sure, will never lie about my status (unless I am trying to fend off perverts, in which case I will pretend that one of my close guy friends is my "boyfriend" and apologise to him later for "using" him.)
Even if I am attached, I will never lie about my status. If I have a boyfriend or going to get married, I will declare. There is nothing to hide, and besides, being attached or married is the most wonderful thing in the world because you have found someone who loves you and willing to spend his / her life with you. What can be better than that?
So I can never understand why there are people who deliberately hide their status. If they are married, they do not wish to disclose. I wonder how the spouse will feel. Worse is that they hide their status, and still go around looking for love, and sex, be it online or offline.
Then there are others who are already attached, yet never remove their online profiles from dating websites, never put their dating memberships on hold, and still accept dates and people looking for love.
Why would people want to do that if they have already found someone? Will that not be a betrayal of some form? Betrayal need not necessarily mean just committing adultery or two-timing, having sex or loving more than one person at the same time. (By the way, is it really possible to love more than one person at the same time?)
Betrayal can also mean not declaring that one is already attached, and still leave the profile as "single" and accepting more dates. It is one thing making more friends, but if one is already attached, should one not remove the profile from any dating site or agency?
Afterall, if one is already going out exclusively with someone, should the time, energy and effort not be concentrated on the date instead of opening up to options? If one is still dating a person casually, then it is nothing wrong being open to more dates, but if both are already officially together and dating each other exclusively, then it is not ethical to look for further options, unless things do not work out and you are back to the dating scene.
Some time ago, a friend was quite angry with a certain matchmaking agency. I am not sure which agency it is, but he said when he tried out the services, the few girls he met there are all attached, yet still went out to meet him.
Well, attached (and married) females can have male friends, but it is one thing having male friends whom you have known from long ago, or meeting new people through work and friends, and another thing altogether meeting new male friends from dating sites and agencies.
The same goes with males as well. It is one thing having female friends from long ago, or meeting new people through work and leisure, and another thing altogether meeting people online and through dating services when one is already attached.
A friend's friend happened to come across her fiance's online profile recently. They met through an online dating site, and while signing up for her sister, she saw that his profile was still active and he still put his status as "single" instead of "attached" or "engaged". She was really angry and upset about it, as she had long deleted her profile ever since they got together.
Perhaps to some people, they may find it no big deal. Afterall, anyone can say anything on an online portal. But then if you are attached, why not just say so? Is it such a bad thing to say? If it is such a bad thing being attached, then why bother getting attached in the first place? If it is a happy thing, then why not declare?
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