Let Nature Take Its Course

I used to understand this idiom when I was younger. Yes, there are many things in life where we should just let nature take its course, instead of rushing, plunging, worrying, et al. By letting things flow smoothly on their own, the end product will be far more beautiful and successful than pushing forward before anything is ready.

This applies to many instances. In studies, in work, in relationships, in love. Kids know this, most adults know this, and now that I am getting old, I ought to know this. My best friend just sent me an e-card, with the following message : "We have come so far and ... we are reaching the end of our twenties ... to the stronger and more mature women that we will become in our thirties. Cheers!"

Now, am I that age already? *Sob sob* But I must say, besides my family, she is one person who has seen me through my various stages of life, from late teens to my twenties, and hopefully the rest of my life too. Even more than my childhood friends, who, at certain times, disappeared and then re-entered. She has stood by me all these while.

Anyway, the gist of this post is that when I retrieved her card and read the message, I realise that to be stronger and mature, I have to change my attitude towards certain things. I have to stop building castles in thin air, forever dreaming of an ivory tower, and start to go back down to Earth and be realistic. And that is how nature comes in.

If any of you remember my post on how detoxed I felt after my trip, I must say that I truly have been making effort to change. To stop using so much of my heart and start using my head. Although it is not that successful at times as I still lapse into fantasy once in a while, it is already much better than in the past.

Once in a while, there are still some "what ifs", but I have learnt how to control that without letting my emotions go wild and start making a mountain out of a molehill. So the question is, why the sudden pondering on letting things go naturally? I am still trying to sort out my thoughts, so please forgive me if I am rambling on incoherently.

The thing is that when I was still a carefree youngster, I found that I could achieve things just by putting in a bit of effort. I would not say it was my best effort, but at least I did what I was supposed to do, ie study and completed my homework, revised my notes, then took the examination, and the results would come on its own.

That is what letting nature takes its course is all about. Do what one needs to do, just put in the effort, and the results will show without any need for real worrying or anxiety. Things will flow naturally without giving much thought.

This works in a lot of areas. Of course when one was still young, all one ever needed to do was to study. As long as effort was being made, the results would show somewhat. It might not be up to expectations, but at least things would not be that bad. Instead of worrying too much, just let things flow.

When a person grows, this idiom will be useful in other areas of life. Like the choice of a tertiary course, in work, even in the choice of a life partner. I never really worried much about whether I could get into a certain course, as that point in time, I was keeping my options open for other courses in the event I did not make my first choice.

Even in the choice of a life partner. No doubt I was very hurt after being dumped by a certain prick, but I realised that I was better off without him and a better guy would suffice. A better guy did come, and even then, we started off as pals, then close friends, then started hanging out more and more with each other, and finally we just got together. That is all the work of nature taking its course.

From there, we started to learn more about each other, adapted to each other, witnessed changes in each other, and the next natural step was marriage. No doubt that never sufficed in the end, but when one lets nature takes its course, these would normally be the ultimate end to a relationship.

Even when I started working, I always thought that if I put in effort, did what I needed to do, nature will take its course and I would be promoted to a better position, or what I did would be recognised and appreciated.

Little did I know that not everything is within control. So was I more naive, or gullible, or innocent, or simple-minded that I thought things will flow smoothly and naturally as long as I did what I was supposed to do, put in the necessary effort? Or was I more sensible?

Because as the years progressed, I no longer have that belief that things will flow on its own. Could it be due to after being hurt badly, that I no longer believe that a relationship needs a strong friendship to sustain? Could it be due to me being burnt out after my teaching days, that I no longer have the energy to strive for higher pastures?

But that should not be the case, should it? After all, certain things really cannot be rushed. I read somewhere that a job and a partner is co-related, ie finding a job is just like finding a partner. One needs to screen through what / who is suitable or unsuitable, then go explore the options, then try out a few, before finally settling into a permanent one.

And that is what letting nature taking its course is all about. Someone who abides by it is someone who understands the true meaning of having a beautiful and successful end product, like a life-long companion, and a good job you like.

In the process, options have to be slowly explored, screened through, try out a few, nurtured, developed, before finally picking one that will be the permanent base. And along the way, after one makes the choice, the feelings and chemistry will develop on its own.

Just like when looking for a job, or settling down in a job, it takes a while to try out and experience the job scope, environment and culture before one decides whether to quit or continue. Which is why in most companies there is still a period of probation, to let both sides get used to each other before deciding whether to continue or terminate.

Looking for a partner is about the same. When two persons first get to know each other, there will be lots of adjustments and adaptations. Both have to see if the other person is suitable, in terms of character, background, interests, thoughts. But it is more complicated where people are concerned, because people are different, so it takes longer to really know a person, unlike a job.

Thus, letting nature take its course is still the most effective way to do things. Do whatever that is needed to be done, and then leave the rest up to God or fate. This is one's future we are talking about, so it should not be taken lightly. Just let things flow and develop on its own instead of fretting and worrying too much.

And that is what I have learnt (or re-learnt) in the past week. So I have to start getting my life back into shape and have a happier disposition, instead of always fretting about things. Whatever will be, will be!

Side Side Step!

Our second Tango class on Sunday went pretty well. We learnt how to be in sync with our partners by shifting our weights to one foot, then moving the other foot. In other words, the men have to be the ones moving forward, backward or sideways, with the women just following along. She must be able to sense and know where he would be moving with her eyes closed.

So we started moving along with the music. Was it my imagination or did I sense that he still seemed pretty conscious of holding on to me? Despite that, we moved along pretty well, except at certain times when I could hardly feel which direction he was moving.

We learnt the steps to go forward, backward, side, and the criss-cross of one foot over another foot. Pretty easy steps actually. The way to go about is to hold on to each other, then the man will lead the lady into going forward, then backward, then side, and finally back and she would cross one foot over the other one.

So it is up to the man to decide which direction to take, be it front, back, right side, left side, and which foot, whether right foot or left foot. He has to let his partner know in advance which foot and which direction by putting his weight on the foot he does not intend to move.

Perhaps the reason I could not feel it sometimes could be because he does not weigh that much more as compared to me? Obviously I am still lighter, especially in light of the recent weight loss programme(s) where I have almost gone down to my desired weight, but he is not that heavy in the first place. Hmmm... really must practice more!

Road Tests! (Part Deux)

I went for another road test on Sunday, this time for Volvo, Volkswagen and Saab models. First up was the Volvo S60, a sleek salon almost on par with the BMW 3 Series we tested a week ago. The ride was smooth, the seat comfortable, and the car seems more performance-driven. Although with that kind of price, one rather get the BMW or Mercedes.

What really caught my eye was the Volvo C70, a sexy, chic-looking car, that looks just as good as the Lexus SC 430. Wow, to imagine driving a car like that on the streets, heads will turn! Not to mention wolf-whistling, and a great way to attract guys... the wrong type of guys I mean. A pity I did not manage to test that though.

Next up was the Volkswagen Beetle. Initially I wanted to try the Beetle Cabriolet convertible, but the sales person said that was not for trial as they have not bought insurance for it. So I ended up trying the normal Beetle instead.

That was a disappointment. No doubt the car is small enough for me, as in I was able to get into the driver's seat and it was just right, need not adjust anything. But perhaps because of the way it was shaped, the car caused me to bump my head everywhere due to the low top. And it runs on only 120 horsepower, so it is just a car to cruise along, not speed. Comparing the Beetle with the Mini Cooper, I will much prefer the latter anytime!

Finally I tested the SAAB 9-3 Sports Sedan. That is a powerful car .... to drive that is. Not for passengers. The ride was bumpy and jerky, probably due to the fact that Scandinavian cars are front-wheel driven due to the snowy climate and hilly geography. However, it is precisely because of this that the ride becomes rather uncomfortable for backseat passengers. I almost got motion sickness despite the short drive!

It has been pretty exciting test-driving the cars. At least I can still get to see the differences between the makes and technology of the various cars, and get to ride nice cars for free! What can be more exciting than that?

Bothersome Phone Calls ....

Wonder if any of you ever experience any forms of cold calling from anyone? What is it about those cold calls anyway, that they get so pushy and ask all kinds of unnecessary questions? I used to answer these calls, but nowadays I find that the more I answer, the more cold calls I get.

In the first place, how in the world did the first telemarketer get my number? Or is it because my number is in such a nice sequence that anyone can call me just by playing around on the phone? I had contemplated for very long whether to change my number, especially to avoid people I have no wish to associate with, but then if I change, I will not get such a nice number anymore!

No doubt those callers are just doing their jobs, as they probably have a list of quota to fill for the day, or week, or month. But do they have to be so downright irritating? If companies or organisations are to hire telemarketers, can they not hire people who speak at least decent enough English without any trace of local colloquialism in the way they speak?

I guess many of these companies hire part-timers, like students, or foreigners, or housewives, who want to earn some extra income but can only afford to spend certain amount of time. Companies are out for business after all, so they are doing nothing wrong.

However, if a person is already so irritated with a pushy telemarketer, and trying ways and means to hang up politely but the telemarketer keeps cutting him / her off and asking more questions and rambling on, it does not help one's disposition to cringe at every word the telemarketer is saying. That is a big ear sore!

I have received calls where the telemarketer cannot even speak English, and asked me if I can communicate in Mandarin! The way I speak Mandarin is what people will term as "half-past six" and it gets so exasperating to have to repeat every word as she was not able to understand what I was saying.

Then there were calls where the telemarketer would just keep rambling on in a mechanical voice, and each time I attempted to say that I was not interested, I could not even get a word in as she would just keep talking and never allowed me to cut in.

I used to think of other's feelings, which was why I tried to entertain as much as I could. But when the calls became more and more frequent and ridiculous like winning a grand prize in a lucky draw, or winning some numbers in an overseas company when I never take part in lucky draws nor buy numbers, I have to be firm and stop entertaining these people.

After all, I realise that if people want to be in a job like that, they are expected to face failure and rejection. Which is why I can never be in the marketing line, because I know I am the type who gets very disillusioned with rejection. Besides, I do not even know them, so why must I spend my time and incur phone charges talking to people I do not know or wish to hear from?

Rumination

It is a rather scary thought that I will soon be at the end of my twenties and yet have not achieved a lot. Most people my age or even younger have rather high qualifications, a decent job (not saying my job is not decent) with high incomes (which mine definitely is not), or they are attached to be married, or married with kids, or able to afford a place or car (or even both).

What about me? None of the above, for now. Maybe mine will come later on in life, but I have waited ten years for things to happen, yet nothing happened. Am I to wait another ten more years? Twenty, thirty even? I do not intend to live such a long life. I want to have everything I set out to achieve before my children (if I ever have any) are grown up and gone.

Perhaps it is a case of Murphy's Law, where the more you want something, the more you cannot seem to get it. And in most cases, the contrary happens - the more you do not want something, the more it happens.

If it is still tolerable I can accept it, but why is it when the more I swear off guys who are only out for flings, the more I hear from people like that? The more I do not wish to do something, I somehow end up always doing the same thing. Yet the more I wish for something to happen, the more it does not happen.

Or is it because what I want is too unrealistic? I do not ask for riches or a Midas touch, nor beauty and brains (although of course I wish these areas can be a bit better), nor a high-flying job. What I ask for is only a simple life, a warm and loving family of my own.

So my other wish for the next year is that I can have or at least working towards having a family of my own, a good future with someone I love and who loves me more. That has been my wish for the past five years or so, and it shall remain my wish until it really comes true.

Learning How To Interact

It is hard to understand another person. People are different, so it is already fate that brings two people together, be it as friends or business partners or lovers. Otherwise why is it that in each person's life, he / she will come across certain people but not others?

Some are luckier, as in they tend to meet the better people in life. Some are unlucky, as in they get cheated again and again. And there are some who drift in and out of people's lives, never knowing how to get along with others.

There are all kinds of people in this world. I know of people who go around shouting and raising their voices just because they want something to be done. There are others who ask nicely and politely. There are those who do not even ask and just help themselves.

For someone to be friends, the chemistry must be there. Otherwise, most will just be at acquaintance level. There are some who can only be mere friends, there are some who become close friends, and there are some who develop further like best friends or even relationships. And there are some whom no one wants to associate with.

Getting along with people is never easy, even if the chemistry is there. It is not possible to always be happy and jolly, even amongst friends. There will be times when a person feels down, or tired, or stressed, or just want to be alone.

True friends are those who adapt to the situation accordingly, go through the ups and downs and happiness and sadness, and not just being focused on themselves. On the other hand, fair-weather friends are those who are only willing to stick through the happy times but run away whenever something goes wrong.

Like for instance, if all of a sudden a close friend becomes distant and aloof, shall I take it personally that he / she is no longer interested in being my friend? Or shall I just leave him / her alone and let him / her sort out on his / her own?

If I am a true friend, I will adapt accordingly and give the person some space, asking about the well-being, but at the same time not being too pushy. If I am a fair-weather friend, I will take it that he / she is no longer talking to me and drop him / her.

I guess in every friendship or relationship, one should not be too sensitive. Everyone is entitled to his / her own time to mull over things, especially in this highly stressed and busy society. One cannot expect to always be in the best mood all the time.

If my friend is also a true friend, he / she will catch up with me after he / she is in a better mood. Otherwise, I know where I stand. In which case, I should contact him / her a final time and if the aloofness is still there, perhaps it is best to just call off.

There are other situations of course. For instance, if someone I have no chemistry with keep leaving me messages when I want nothing to do with this person, shall I just tell him off or shall I just ignore, or shall I reply politely but half-heartedly hoping he will get the message?

If the person is respectful enough, perhaps he will get the message and leave me alone. But in most cases I have never been that lucky to meet respectful people. Rather, most of the pricks I meet are, well, pricks, who never get the message across and think persistence is the key.

It is never easy interacting with others, but what we can do is to just try our best and adapt according to situations. For instance, never ever be so clingy if the other person has no wish to be associated with you. Similarly, never be pushy if the other person wants some time alone.

I am just stating some examples on how to get along with others. There are many other ways and examples, because humans behave in all kinds of ways so one tip does not cover all. Humans are social animals after all, and being able to interact with people successfully is but a skill. Some have this skills and some still have to work on it.

I definitely still have lots to work on, especially in changing my attitude towards certain things. And with that, I hope to become a much better person and friend to others.

Finding The Right One .... At The Wrong Time

I went for a facial earlier on and had a discussion with my therapist. We do not talk about just skincare; rather we discuss things which girls would discuss, ie men, relationships, dating, family, etc. She is my regular therapist and I have known her for three years, ever since I wanted to change job and she became my image consultant, telling me how to dress and make up for the corporate world.

Anyway, she brought up an issue which I find rather thought-provoking. Is it possible to meet the right person, but at the wrong time? The thing is that if the timing is wrong, then perhaps the person is all wrong, is it not? That was how I used to think.

But now I am not that sure. I know there are many people out there who really love each other, but have to break up due to lots of factors, like religion, or family, or distance. And though years have passed, they never get over each other, and never find another person just as or more suitable.

At times it is not a matter of not giving others a chance, but if one has had the best, why should one settle for second best? Everyone owes it to him / herself to be with the best and most suitable person, but if the best had passed by, and one never gets to find a better one, should one then settle for second best for the sake of just finding someone?

Not everyone is that lucky to be able to find someone just as good or better. I have friends who broke up due to parental disapproval or religious reasons, but in the end never did find anyone else who is suitable. It took my best friend two more relationships and countless other dates before she found someone who can match up to the best guy she ever had.

For me? People say I am being unfair to others who want to date me, but I strongly believe in not settling for second best. If I know the guy is not suitable for me, I will not even give him a chance, because it is unlikely he will change. Just like it is hard for anyone to find me suitable given my weird character.

I have already been unfair to one person. I plunged in knowing that we are not that suitable in the long run, yet when the feelings are strong superficially, one wanted to take a chance. That is the greatest mistake anyone can ever make. It was my fault that I became so frustrated in the end.

Yet I made the same mistake again a year later, this time even worse as I got myself cheated. In every aspect a guy can cheat a girl. Cheated of feelings, of emotions, of time and effort. My life was like a living hell, and I still had to pretend to be happy in front of others.

But then, it is already very difficult to find someone you like and who likes you back, and yet both are suitable for each other. In most cases, it is one-sided. Either the girl likes the guy but he finds her unsuitable, or the guy likes a girl but she finds him unsuitable. Or you have found the right person, but he / she is already taken for.

So yes, it is possible to find the right person at the wrong time. In this case, one can only just move on and hope for something better, or be resigned that there may never be someone just as suitable.

For me, I am moving on, hoping that I will be able to find my true happiness soon, with someone who is suitable for me and I am just as suitable for him. Let's just see how this current date turns out!

Resolving A Problematic Issue

I have a problem. A major one. So major that if I do not do something about it, I am tantamount to put a lot of people off, and destroy whatever budding friendship or relationship that comes my way.

The thing is, I know I have this problem since long ago, but somehow keep repeating the same mistake. Perhaps that was why he left me, but that is all long gone and done for. I have to remember that people are not perfect, neither am I, so I should not be so choosy and expect too much out of others.

Yet in my visions and dreams, I know perfectly well how to behave. I know how to adapt to situations, how to interact and get along with people. I know that certain things take time and effort, not to be rushed into. I also know that it takes a tremendous amount of patience to know and understand another person very well.

And I practised all these when I was much younger. Which did wonders for a lot of things. Yet, why is it that now when I am older and supposedly more sensible, I tend to do the opposite? I did things to put people off. I was impatient and wanted to rush through things, I became more attention-seeking, less understanding. How and when did I evolve to someone like this?

Now another October has come. The third October of my blog. As people know, October is always a very special month for me. This year, I resolve to change to a better person. To be less self-centred. To be more caring and understanding. To behave in a proper way that good things may come, instead of having an adverse effect.

I was never like this in the past. I became like this only after having my heart broken very badly, and being cheated. Perhaps now I tend to be more wary about things, but this should not be at the cost of a healthy emotional well-being, or a budding friendship that could just develop further.

Now that I realise what my problem is, it is time for me to nip it in the bud and resolve it, so it will not further worsen by my own actions and thoughts.

Scandinavian Cuisine

We had North European food earlier on. Actually Western food is about the same everywhere, thus the Scandinavian restaurant we were in serves pretty normal Western food. The place itself looks rather classy, but quiet. We seem to be the only four customers there!

We ordered a set meal each. There are two sets, a cheaper one and a more expensive one. The cheaper set consists of a soup, sorbet, choice of main course, dessert and coffee or tea. The more expensive set consists of all the above, with the addition of foie gras, and caviar garnishing for one of the main courses.

All of us ordered the cheaper set. The servings are just right, not too big, as compared to other Western restaurants. Two of us (including me) had Norwegian Salmon, Onion Soup, Tea and Carrot Cake. All my favourite dishes! The salmon is good!

The other two had Ribeye Steak, Onion Soup, Coffee and their own choice of desserts. His steak is just right, medium rare, unlike the medium-but-turned-out-rare steak we had in Hooters the night before.

It is a good place to recommend for anyone looking for a cosy dining experience. The place is called Abof Cafe and Restaurant at Millenia Walk, somewhere near Outback Steakhouse. The food and ambience is good, be it for two people, or a small group.

TANGO!

We went for our first Tango class today. I first came across Tango after watching "True Lies", and found it fascinating, especially with the rose. Then I watched some ballroom dancing segments and found Tango rather interesting. Since he is interested as well, we signed up together.

There are only about seven of us in the class (perhaps more, but maybe the rest did not turn up). We have a pair of instructors teaching us, one male and one female. Apparently, Tango is a social dance with close bodily contact, so we have to ensure we are very close to our partners. As with most dances, the man will lead, and the woman will follow, but the man has to ensure that his partner is close to him at all times, with her arms bent comfortably on his arms and shoulders.

That was the first time we were in such close proximity with each other. It is a bit nervous for both of us as he had never held me that close before. I am not one who is comfortable having such close bodily contact with someone I have no feelings for, which explains why I put a lot of jerks off since they always think I play hard to get.

But of course, with him it is different since we have been meeting up quite frequently. I was a bit nervous at first since it was the first time he was holding me and I am not sure just how he would feel. But the initial nervousness faded away as we tried out the dance steps and he tried to lead me. I became more and more at ease. That should be how people dance - being at ease and comfortable with the partner.

We kept changing partners. Since there was a variety of heights, we had to adjust accordingly to the height of the leader and try to follow through. All in all, it was an interesting lesson, and from the looks of the demonstration at the end of the class, the successive lessons will get more interesting. Really looking forward to the next class!

HOOTERS!

Finally I got to try out Hooters after thinking of going there for ages. I am not sure whether it was because we chose a seat outside the restaurant next to the river, but the overall experience is not that fantastic. Perhaps inside the restaurant the ambience may be better?

Of course, Hooters is famous for the waitresses in their scantily-clad attire. The waitresses are heavily made-up, with sleek and silky hair, wearing tight tank tops and mini shorts. But the service left much to be desired. The waitress serving us made a face when our friend asked her a few more questions pertaining to his order. She looked so grumpy as if she could not be bothered to take our orders!

The food is not that great as well. Hooters is famous for its chicken wings, so we ordered two plates of ten chicken wings each, one with the normal Teriyaki sauce, the other with the Medium buttery spicy sauce, as appetizers.

The drinks are good too. I had two glasses of Hooty-fruity, a mocktail, consisting of orange juice, soursop juice, calamansi juice, grenadine and blended milk. Sweet and delicious, just like drinking a thin milkshake!

We ordered a New Zealand Sirloin Steak, Medium, to share. Our friend ordered crab's legs and his girlfriend a grilled chicken with spaghetti carbonara. The crab's legs are not that fresh, so they were not that delicious, and our steak turned out more rare than medium.

Overall, it is not a good experience for me. With so much hype over Hooters, it is a rather disappointing experience. Perhaps it is a good place to chill out over drinks and finger food, but not for dining.

Road Tests!

I went for a series of road tests today. First I tried the BMW 320. The interior is sleek and comfortable. There is the auto Manual gear but the gear handle has to be turned a few times to engage the Manual gear. Even though the car looks nice, it does not seem to be easy to drive, as the engine gets bumpy and the passenger will not sit in comfort.

I saw the BMW Z4 Roadster convertible in the shop, and I was almost drooling over it! Beautiful car, although not very practical as it is only a two-seater. If anyone is to spend a 6-figure sum on a car, it makes more sense for the car to be able to take in more passengers, instead of just for two.

Secondly, I tried the Mercedes-Benz C200 Kompressor. Now, that is a great car! Sleek, chic, smooth, comfortable, and great to travel on the road, for both the driver and passenger. The engine is so smooth and soft that one can hardly feel the car moving at all! It is that smooth! And it comes with a keyless entry, so one had no worries about car thefts anymore!

The third car I tried was the new Toyota Camry 2.4. I am used to a Camry, since my parents drive a Camry too (the older version), so I do not find any difference between the new and the old versions. Even the seats and dashboard look the same.

Next, I tried the Lexus IS250. That is another great car! Smooth, sleek, chic and advanced. The seats are air-conditioned, so even if the car was left in the hot sun for the whole day, the driver will feel cool once he sat in the car.

It also operates on keyless entry and driving. And there are two air-conditioners - one for the driver and one for the front passenger. It is also a good car to go up and down hills, as it does not jerk that badly and everyone is ensured of a smooth and uneventful ride throughout.

I saw the Lexus SC430 in the store, and went into the driver's seat to sit and look. That car is a dream! Four-seater, size of a normal saloon, reasonable rate for a convertible, and it is the type of car that makes heads turn when a person is driving it. But that is only a dream, as I know I can never afford it in this lifetime.

I actually wanted to stop after trying out the Lexus, but then we passed by the Mini Cooper shop. And since I always wanted to try out a Mini Cooper, I went in to try a Mini Cooper S. Now, that is a powerful car! For such a small car, it is running on 175 horsepower. So I can speed without banging into anyone as the car is small, so easier to control.

Small, powerful and deadly! Plus the dashboard is reminiscent of those retro times, which looks really cute! Now, that is the type of car I like! If I ever get the Mini Cooper, I will paint it in the design of a British flag! The only gripe is that because it is such a small car, it will be hard to take in passengers as if anyone else drives, he has to adjust the seat all the way to the back just to allow space for his feet. Thus, no one can sit behind him.

However, when I tried getting into the driver's seat, it is just perfect for me. I need not even adjust the seat, everything is perfect, from the height to the leg space to the mirror. This is really a car designed for puny people like me! No wonder it is so popular nowadays, as it is fast, cute, and suits smaller size people!

I wanted to stop after trying out the Mini Cooper, but since I went by the Audi shop, I decided to try out one more car, so I tried the Audi A4. That is also another smooth car, but not as good as the Mercedes or the Lexus, and definitely not as good as the Mini Cooper!

If I am to rank (not including the Mini Cooper and Camry), of all the luxury cars, I will say Lexus tops my list, followed by the Mercedes, then Audi and finally BMW. My friend thinks the Mercedes is tops, followed by the Lexus.

Come to think of it, there is not much of a price difference between the Mercedes and the Lexus. So perhaps it is more practical to get the Mercedes after all, if I ever decide to get a luxury car, since it is not much of a difference as compared to a Lexus, and yet it is a grander car.

On The Road!

Finally I am on the road! As in, driving on the road. Okay, it is not the first time I was driving on the road, as I had gone through the routes numerous times while undergoing Manual lessons, but with Auto cars, the feeling is different. I could focus more on the traffic and the direction the roads lead instead of thinking and observing when to change gear.

Needless to say, my driving lessons are getting better. The car just flows along the traffic, and I just need to know when to brake and when to turn. I feel more confident driving, instead of being so flustered on when to change gear and when to engage the clutch that I neglected everything else.

Now with an Auto car, all worries are thrown out. All I need to focus on is the traffic condition and which lane to turn into. I never know I can drive so well and confidently. Maybe I will be able to get my license sooner than expected!

How Loud Is Too Loud?

I came across this article in Yahoo! about office irritants, which I can so relate to! I do have people in my office that behave this way. For me, my phone is always on vibration, I eat out most of the time, I do not use speaker phone, and my PC volume is way down. Hopefully no one ever complains about me! :-p

By : Tara Weiss, Wednesday 18th July 2007

While working at a weekly newspaper in Wisconsin, Angela Kargus became intimately acquainted with a co-worker's personal life. Kargus learned about her fertility problems, that her dog urinates all over the carpet and that she does indeed have a regular menstrual cycle. You're right to think these are the kind of personal details shared over a cup of coffee or on a friend's couch. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. Kargus and her co-worker aren't even friends. But her co-worker is a classic workplace loud talker. She yapped on her cellphone throughout the day with friends and, quite frequently, her mother.

This probably sounds familiar. Office loud talkers are everywhere, and the worst part is, they probably don't even realize they've been labeled as such. To the unknowing, here's a tip: Proper decorum calls for people to take personal conversations outside the office or into the hallway, especially since so many workplaces are in an open format where only top managers have offices (and doors they can close). We're not all so lucky. In fact, the office loud talker certainly isn't the only pet peeve known to cubicle land. Among the more popular (or, actually, unpopular) are using a speakerphone with the door open or while in a public area; leaving the kitchen a mess; bringing potent-smelling food for lunch; and leaving the sound on the computer so everyone hears the ding of an instant message.

Despite the laundry list of complaints, the loud talker wins the award for most annoying. Of 2,318 people surveyed in March 2006 by Harris Interactive and Randstad, 32% say an office loud talker is their biggest pet peeve. Coming in a close second at 30% is using an annoying cellphone ringtone; 22% said speakerphones are their No. 1 peeve.

As for Kargus and her colleagues, no one in the newsroom ever complained directly to their co-worker. Kargus was nervous that her co-worker would get upset and seek retribution or that it would create a tense atmosphere. Worse than the conversations that reduced Kargus' ability to concentrate was her co-worker's annoying cellphone ring: the Mexican Hat Dance. "Writing is something you need to be in that zone to do," says Kargus, now director of media relations at the American Chiropractic Association. "Having the Mexican Hat Dance ringing breaks you out of
the zone."

Not saying anything to the co-worker was a mistake, says Barbara Pachter, an executive coach who specializes in business etiquette. It's just a matter of saying it in the right tone of voice. "Be polite yet powerful," says Pachter, author of When the Little Things Count ... and They Always Count. Do that by saying what's bothering you and explaining the effect it has on your work. Then ask the person to either lower his or her voice or take personal calls out of the office. Then, ask if that's OK, to make sure the other person understands and will comply.

Pachter offers a more specific example: "Hey, you might not realize--I hear your conversation and it's distracting to me. I'm having a hard time working. Could you please lower your voice? OK?" For a situation like the one Kargus found herself in with her former co-worker, you can even make a joke out of hearing personal details. Say something like: "I don't think you want me to know that about you." For repeat offenders, just give them a reminder by saying, "Remember that conversation we had the other day? Your voice is getting loud again."

Randstad, the staffing organization that contracted the pet peeve survey, takes workplace etiquette so seriously it incorporates it into new-hire seminars. Newsrooms, like the one Kargus worked in, are one extreme. They tend to be loud, open workplaces. The environment at Randstad is the opposite extreme. Personal cellphones must be on vibrate or silent the minute employees walk in the door. If they're not, someone will likely send a note that says, "Remember the rule? Turn your ringer off." To maintain a "professional" atmosphere, employees are only allowed to have two personal pictures on their desks.

Private rooms are provided where employees can make personal calls. And on some floors at every sixth desk, there is a table where four or five people can do work together. "We do that so there isn't that socializing that distracts other employees," says Genia Spencer, Randstad's managing director of human resources.

It's not likely most offices will go to that extreme or that it would even work. In the meantime, remember this: Silence your cellphone, eat smelly lunches in the cafeteria, turn the volume down on your computer and close the door when you use speakerphone! It will make for a much happier and productive workplace.

Moral of the story : ALWAYS BE CONSIDERATE TO YOUR CO-WORKERS!

A Night At The Gym

Contrary to what a lot of people think, I have stepped into a gym before. I used to be with a couple of guys who spent their time working out, so occasionally I would go to the gym with them to try my hand at the machines available, although I am never a fan of gym workouts.

Due to the two week gym membership which just expired, we went for a trial session with a personal trainer, who took our body profiles, including our height, weight, muscle mass and body fat. Somehow I have shrunk two centimetres (as if I am not short enough already), but lost another half a kilogram from the last time I measured.

My muscle mass is low, body fat high, although not as high as last year already, so it seems like the slimming treatments do work to a certain extent. Thus, the trainer said that I should build up my muscle mass and lose more body fat to have a flatter tummy and more toned legs and arms. He should build up more muscle mass to make his body more proportionate and well-toned, with six packs! :-D

So we started on our routine. First, it was a session on a machine that will help build our chest muscles. We used our hands to clutch at the sides, then used chest muscles (not shoulders or arms) to pull the edges towards us. We had to do that fifteen times! If you think it is easy, think again. Using chest muscles is much more difficult than shoulders, as we had to keep our shoulders and arms constant, and not move them.

Next, we had to lift weights. We were placed in front of a mirror with our backs facing the mirror, then lift weights with our elbows remaining constant on the mirror. This exercises the upper and lower arms. It is much easier lifting the elbows instead of having them fixed at the mirror! Again, we had to lift up the weights fifteen times.

Our third exercise involved our leg muscles. We had to lie on our backs, suspend our legs on a big exercise ball, then bend our knees and balance our feet at the edge of the ball WITHOUT the ball moving. Again, if our leg muscles are not strong enough, the ball will move, then it will be hard to balance.

Next, we had to suspend ourselves standing up on another machine, placing our arms at the side handles. Then we had to push our arms down and life our lower bodies up, while bending our knees at the same time. This cannot be achieved if one do not have strong arm and chest muscles. Needless to say, I almost could not do it.

Our last exercise was sitting down on a mat, pulling the handles at the side of a wall. It is something like rowing a boat, except the legs have to remain straight and we had to pull the ropes and arch our bodies back, without moving other parts of the body.

All in all, it was a useful, albeit very intense, session. From there, I finally realise exactly just how unfit I really am. These gym tips are useful for us, as we can use them to practice our own gym routines at the gym at his place. At least with an exercise partner there is more motivation to keep fit!

Gesundheit!

I am almost mono-lingual. Besides English and some Chinese, I cannot speak nor understand any other language, despite the fact that I am rather intrigued by Bahasa, Japanese, Korean, and the European languages of French, German and Italian.

Reading wise, it is still okay as after all, if the letters are in English, or more precisely, the Latin alphabet, it is not too hard to read or make out the pronunciation. Which is why I am able to sing in Italian or German or French without much of a difficulty, even if I have absolutely no idea what I am singing or reading!

Although I had absolutely no idea what was going on, I still went to a German church service last Sunday. He has taken some German back in school, so he can read and understand German, even though he seldom speaks. And he has always wanted to experience the German service, so I went along.

It was just a normal traditional service. There are procedures of course, since it is of a different denomination altogether, but other than that, the structure of the service is pretty similar to a Catholic or some other traditional church services. There is still the opening hymn, preaching by the Pastor, the Apostle's Creed, prayers, more hymns and closing prayer.

Even though I have absolutely no idea what the sermon was about, I was able to fit in as I just followed the rest of the congregation when to sing and when to pray. The song list and hymn book were given to us beforehand, so we were able to follow the songs to a certain extent too.

Of course, it helps that I have a translator next to me. At least with his help, I was able to have an idea what the song(s) and prayers were about. Later he gave me an idea of what the sermon was about as well.

A pretty interesting experience, I should say. This is quite a good way to learn a new language. He mentioned that he may want to go for the German service again, which I concur, as sometimes it is good to explore something new instead of always sticking with the same routine. It is a good way to expand one's horizons too.

Body Stretch!

In just a week, I have gone to a series of Yoga lessons. We signed up for a beginner's Yoga after we received our two weeks trial gym membership, so the first session was on Gentle Yoga. It was gentle indeed. The studio was cooling, and the exercises were not too intense. At least I could still stretch and bend a little.

The exercises involved stretching of the arms and legs, as well as the back. There was one part where we had to lie on our backs, lift up our hips, and stretch our legs to a forty-five degree angle. It may sound easy, but actually it needs lots of balance and coordination with our hip and back muscles.

And if the muscles there are almost non-existent or not in much use, it will be hard to stay at a forty-five degree angle, as the whole body would either start vibrating or the legs would fall back to the mat. Same goes for the part where we had to put our palms on the mat and push our body up from the back.

The instructor was patient though. He really made sure that everyone was doing the right stretching and exercises. The first session was good, as in we got to know which part of the body to stretch. There was soothing music in the background, so at the end of the session, I felt really calm and relaxed, that I was even able to exercise a bit on the exercise bike and treadmill for a while.

We then booked another session a few days later, this time two Yoga sessions back to back. The first was a Hot Yoga class, where there was more intense stretching in a room with a temperature of thirty-seven degree celsius. Needless to say, most of us were perspiring within ten minutes into the class.

The next was a Hatha Yoga (I think), where the movements were faster and more routine, then the last twenty minutes were spent lying down on the mat, closing our eyes and just relaxing. The instructor was speaking to us in a soothing voice, letting us think of peace and tranquility.

I tried doing Yoga on my bed during the weekend, but somehow it was not as comfortable as doing it on a mat. Thus, I went to buy a Yoga mat yesterday. It just so happens that my company's gallery is selling Yoga mats, and I am entitled to a staff discount, so I bought it at a much lower price as compared to those selling at sports stores. So now I can practice Yoga at home, and hopefully lose more weight!

A Mid-Autumn Night's Dream

When I was young, I used to celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival at my maternal grandmother's place. We kids would take our dinner, some moon cakes, then go out into the garden to play with lanterns. The lanterns ranged from big to small, colourful to plain.

I remember we had to compete who would get the biggest and most colourful lantern. It was on a first-come-first-serve basis, so being the slow eater I am, I always end up with the leftover lanterns. :-(

But those were fun days. We stopped doing that when my two cousins passed away one after another. Then my uncle decided to knock down the house and build a new one in its place, so they moved out for a few years. After that, we grew up and became too old to play with lanterns anymore.

My favourite type of moon cakes is the green pandan flavoured skin with pure lotus, no egg yolks. Somehow I dislike egg yolks in my moon cake. I know most people prefer yolks in their moon cakes, but to me, I dislike yolks per se. Even when I eat hard-boiled eggs or bull's eye, not to mention sunny-side up, I always take just the egg whites and leave the yolks.

When I was in secondary school, I started having a fantasy for Mid-Autumn day. It had been my dream on the night itself, take a stroll along the beach with a special someone. We would then sit on a breakwater or the sand, eating moon cakes and moon-gazing.

We would just sit and enjoy each other's company, looking at the moon, not saying a word. At times, just keeping quiet and being there with each other is more enjoyable than talking to each other. A couple need not talk to each other every second of the day, what matters is they enjoy each other's company no matter what they do.

Alas, my dream had not come true. The guys I used to date all find it a waste of time doing that. They rather stay home or do other things. In any case, they do not treat the Lantern Festival as such a big deal, whereas I was brought up to honour such festivals.

When I said this to the guy I am currently seeing, he found the idea nice and interesting. We did talk about doing that, but then other things cropped up. We had dinner, played tennis (singles this time), then ate moon cake while drinking tea with one of his flat mates. So we never did manage to go moon-gazing.

But that does not matter. What matters is we spent time with each other. We had a good tennis session, a fun time eating moon cakes, drinking tea and interacting with his flat mate. One can have fun anywhere, anytime, doing anything, as long as it is with a person that matters. But a pity not many people can understand this concept.

又大一岁的心声

不知不觉已经在这间公司熬了一年。 其实不能说是熬，因为工作什么时候是轻松的呢? 无论做什么工都是一样的。 很多人埋怨工作不顺利， 不被上司看上， 但如果劝他们换工作， 他们又觉得没这个必要， 因为新工作可能会更糟。 其实每个工作都是糟， 看要怎么适应。 如果我想做自己真正喜欢的事，那我就没钱赚了！ 钱虽不是万能， 但也得要有的吃，有的穿，过个不是太辛苦的生活才适当。

时间真的过得很快， 转眼我又快要再大一岁了。 想一想我这几年到底做了什么呢？ 差不多三年内换了几次工，不过还好最近在工作上有了一点成就。 老板虽然麻烦， 不过习惯就好了。 他工作方面要求高， 不过为人并不怎样，起码不是那种随便骂人或炒人的上司。 在这间公司我也觉得舒服， 如果可以的话，我可能会在这长久， 不过如果有更好的公司愿意用高薪聘请我， 我可能会跳槽。

回想这几年，私生活方面也没什么成就，反而搞得一塌糊涂。幸亏近几个月生活比较平静，没以往那么混乱，所以也觉得比较心平气和。感情方面也顺其自然，目前发展的还好，希望能在发展下去，说不定他可能会是我的理想伴侣呢！

希望我的新一年能过得更好，无论在生活上，工作上或感情上，样样都能心想事成，更上一层楼。一年内能发生很多事情，我希望新一年发生的事都会是好事！ 好事多多， 越来越多， 坏事离开，越远越好！

Religious, Superstition Or Ridicule?

Some time last week, there was some news going around that a certain tree in the West part of the island is growing new bark. That itself is nothing sensational, except the new bark was growing over the old bark, making the new bark protrude due to lack of space (I think), resulting in that particular part looking like a monkey's head.

So people, being what they are, rushed there immediately as they think it is a sign that something good will happen. Some go there to pray for winning numbers, some just to pray as they believe the spirit of the Monkey God lies hidden in the tree, and some just to take a look.

Is this superstitious or religious? That something so common, albeit a little strange in shape and structure, can trigger such a crowd? Perhaps to the people involved, they truly believe that there is some sort of a spiritual presence, especially in light of the Hungry Ghost Festival coming to an end.

Anyway everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. Just like people in Lourdes believed they actually sighted a vision of the Virgin Mary. Perhaps she did or did not appear all those years ago, but people chose to believe she did. So in the context of the tree, people also chose to believe it was a sign of the spirit of the Monkey God.

But what borders on superstition, and what borders on religion? That is a rather grey area. What borders on ridicule as well? Recently, the completion of the big temple somewhere near the middle part of the island caused an uproar, as it is named the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple, yet some people said it should not be named that as no Buddha's tooth was used.

To me, it is just a name, in respect of Buddha. Does it matter that it is not a literal name? There are so many churches called Blessed Virgin or Immaculate Heart or Holy Jesus or Holy Spirit, but does that mean there is really Mary or the Holy Spirit in the church?

There are all kinds of names used for religious purposes for buildings, but that is just a name, a place for people to worship. Just like the Goddess of Mercy temple, one wonders if there is a real Goddess of Mercy in there? So must people make such a big deal of what a religious building is named?