I went for a facial earlier on and had a discussion with my therapist. We do not talk about just skincare; rather we discuss things which girls would discuss, ie men, relationships, dating, family, etc. She is my regular therapist and I have known her for three years, ever since I wanted to change job and she became my image consultant, telling me how to dress and make up for the corporate world.
Anyway, she brought up an issue which I find rather thought-provoking. Is it possible to meet the right person, but at the wrong time? The thing is that if the timing is wrong, then perhaps the person is all wrong, is it not? That was how I used to think.
But now I am not that sure. I know there are many people out there who really love each other, but have to break up due to lots of factors, like religion, or family, or distance. And though years have passed, they never get over each other, and never find another person just as or more suitable.
At times it is not a matter of not giving others a chance, but if one has had the best, why should one settle for second best? Everyone owes it to him / herself to be with the best and most suitable person, but if the best had passed by, and one never gets to find a better one, should one then settle for second best for the sake of just finding someone?
Not everyone is that lucky to be able to find someone just as good or better. I have friends who broke up due to parental disapproval or religious reasons, but in the end never did find anyone else who is suitable. It took my best friend two more relationships and countless other dates before she found someone who can match up to the best guy she ever had.
For me? People say I am being unfair to others who want to date me, but I strongly believe in not settling for second best. If I know the guy is not suitable for me, I will not even give him a chance, because it is unlikely he will change. Just like it is hard for anyone to find me suitable given my weird character.
I have already been unfair to one person. I plunged in knowing that we are not that suitable in the long run, yet when the feelings are strong superficially, one wanted to take a chance. That is the greatest mistake anyone can ever make. It was my fault that I became so frustrated in the end.
Yet I made the same mistake again a year later, this time even worse as I got myself cheated. In every aspect a guy can cheat a girl. Cheated of feelings, of emotions, of time and effort. My life was like a living hell, and I still had to pretend to be happy in front of others.
But then, it is already very difficult to find someone you like and who likes you back, and yet both are suitable for each other. In most cases, it is one-sided. Either the girl likes the guy but he finds her unsuitable, or the guy likes a girl but she finds him unsuitable. Or you have found the right person, but he / she is already taken for.
So yes, it is possible to find the right person at the wrong time. In this case, one can only just move on and hope for something better, or be resigned that there may never be someone just as suitable.
For me, I am moving on, hoping that I will be able to find my true happiness soon, with someone who is suitable for me and I am just as suitable for him. Let's just see how this current date turns out!
Anyway, she brought up an issue which I find rather thought-provoking. Is it possible to meet the right person, but at the wrong time? The thing is that if the timing is wrong, then perhaps the person is all wrong, is it not? That was how I used to think.
But now I am not that sure. I know there are many people out there who really love each other, but have to break up due to lots of factors, like religion, or family, or distance. And though years have passed, they never get over each other, and never find another person just as or more suitable.
At times it is not a matter of not giving others a chance, but if one has had the best, why should one settle for second best? Everyone owes it to him / herself to be with the best and most suitable person, but if the best had passed by, and one never gets to find a better one, should one then settle for second best for the sake of just finding someone?
Not everyone is that lucky to be able to find someone just as good or better. I have friends who broke up due to parental disapproval or religious reasons, but in the end never did find anyone else who is suitable. It took my best friend two more relationships and countless other dates before she found someone who can match up to the best guy she ever had.
For me? People say I am being unfair to others who want to date me, but I strongly believe in not settling for second best. If I know the guy is not suitable for me, I will not even give him a chance, because it is unlikely he will change. Just like it is hard for anyone to find me suitable given my weird character.
I have already been unfair to one person. I plunged in knowing that we are not that suitable in the long run, yet when the feelings are strong superficially, one wanted to take a chance. That is the greatest mistake anyone can ever make. It was my fault that I became so frustrated in the end.
Yet I made the same mistake again a year later, this time even worse as I got myself cheated. In every aspect a guy can cheat a girl. Cheated of feelings, of emotions, of time and effort. My life was like a living hell, and I still had to pretend to be happy in front of others.
But then, it is already very difficult to find someone you like and who likes you back, and yet both are suitable for each other. In most cases, it is one-sided. Either the girl likes the guy but he finds her unsuitable, or the guy likes a girl but she finds him unsuitable. Or you have found the right person, but he / she is already taken for.
So yes, it is possible to find the right person at the wrong time. In this case, one can only just move on and hope for something better, or be resigned that there may never be someone just as suitable.
For me, I am moving on, hoping that I will be able to find my true happiness soon, with someone who is suitable for me and I am just as suitable for him. Let's just see how this current date turns out!
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