My best friend asked me last night why did I sound so calm and collected this time after breaking up? So I told her that I did not exactly "break up" because we were never official in the first place. Yes, we dated each other, enjoyed each other's company, but never went serious. Which makes it much easier for both of us to just remain as ordinary friends and look for other avenues.
Initially, I was a tad disappointed of course, because as I said, he is one person I really feel I can carve a future with if all goes well. But because both of us are so similar, even in thoughts, that both of us know that we do not have that kind of feelings for each other to progress further. Sometimes being too similar is not a good thing too.
But at times, things do not work out for the best. Perhaps if we really do plunge in, we may end up seeing things in each other which we cannot tolerate, and then what? Have another real break up and get our hearts broken again? I am not going to let another person break my heart, and he is not going to break another girl's heart nor let himself be hurt again.
I guess the reason my best friend made that remark was because she had seen how down I was when my relationships failed in the past. I was really down only twice, the subsequent two times I was not that upset.
Maybe now I am older and in more control of my emotions? Or maybe the reason I did not get too hurt was because I knew I no longer wanted to be with the person anymore, my feelings have faded so it was just as well things ended?
She asked me so what do I intend to do? I told her "nothing". Just making more friends for now, not really intending to plunge into anything with anyone. Besides the lunch dating and matching packages I have signed up for, other than that I am not going to be a hunter and deliberately go out and get men. In the first place, I was never the one to hunt, men just flock to me for some perverse reason.
I told her that I am going to use my head more. The first time I actually used my head more than my heart, and I did not get myself hurt. So this is the approach I will be adopting, using my head more instead of using my heart so much.
I figured (finally!) that if in the event a decent guy is really into me, he will do a lot without me doing much right? So why do I have to be the one to always do so much for the guy, only to get slammed with the cruel fact that the guy probably never treated me seriously in the first place?
So instead of trying to find a guy I like more than he likes me, why not see which guy likes me more than I like him? See which guy is more into me than I into him. And by that, I mean a decent, well brought-up, responsible and committed guy who is willing to take me seriously, and not someone just out for flings or fun.
When that person comes along, then, and only then, will I consider whether to be with him or not. He has to prove his worth first. If the guy really wants to be with me, I believe he will take the initiative to show his sincerity and commitment without even me asking.
So I am just playing a waiting game for now. I will still go out with whoever wants to date me (and whoever I feel comfortable enough to go out with), but I will not deliberately go everywhere to hook up any guy. I have never done that and will never do that. I will never lower myself to this extent. Besides, the best is truly worth waiting for.
Initially, I was a tad disappointed of course, because as I said, he is one person I really feel I can carve a future with if all goes well. But because both of us are so similar, even in thoughts, that both of us know that we do not have that kind of feelings for each other to progress further. Sometimes being too similar is not a good thing too.
But at times, things do not work out for the best. Perhaps if we really do plunge in, we may end up seeing things in each other which we cannot tolerate, and then what? Have another real break up and get our hearts broken again? I am not going to let another person break my heart, and he is not going to break another girl's heart nor let himself be hurt again.
I guess the reason my best friend made that remark was because she had seen how down I was when my relationships failed in the past. I was really down only twice, the subsequent two times I was not that upset.
Maybe now I am older and in more control of my emotions? Or maybe the reason I did not get too hurt was because I knew I no longer wanted to be with the person anymore, my feelings have faded so it was just as well things ended?
She asked me so what do I intend to do? I told her "nothing". Just making more friends for now, not really intending to plunge into anything with anyone. Besides the lunch dating and matching packages I have signed up for, other than that I am not going to be a hunter and deliberately go out and get men. In the first place, I was never the one to hunt, men just flock to me for some perverse reason.
I told her that I am going to use my head more. The first time I actually used my head more than my heart, and I did not get myself hurt. So this is the approach I will be adopting, using my head more instead of using my heart so much.
I figured (finally!) that if in the event a decent guy is really into me, he will do a lot without me doing much right? So why do I have to be the one to always do so much for the guy, only to get slammed with the cruel fact that the guy probably never treated me seriously in the first place?
So instead of trying to find a guy I like more than he likes me, why not see which guy likes me more than I like him? See which guy is more into me than I into him. And by that, I mean a decent, well brought-up, responsible and committed guy who is willing to take me seriously, and not someone just out for flings or fun.
When that person comes along, then, and only then, will I consider whether to be with him or not. He has to prove his worth first. If the guy really wants to be with me, I believe he will take the initiative to show his sincerity and commitment without even me asking.
So I am just playing a waiting game for now. I will still go out with whoever wants to date me (and whoever I feel comfortable enough to go out with), but I will not deliberately go everywhere to hook up any guy. I have never done that and will never do that. I will never lower myself to this extent. Besides, the best is truly worth waiting for.
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