I have a problem. A major one. So major that if I do not do something about it, I am tantamount to put a lot of people off, and destroy whatever budding friendship or relationship that comes my way.
The thing is, I know I have this problem since long ago, but somehow keep repeating the same mistake. Perhaps that was why he left me, but that is all long gone and done for. I have to remember that people are not perfect, neither am I, so I should not be so choosy and expect too much out of others.
Yet in my visions and dreams, I know perfectly well how to behave. I know how to adapt to situations, how to interact and get along with people. I know that certain things take time and effort, not to be rushed into. I also know that it takes a tremendous amount of patience to know and understand another person very well.
And I practised all these when I was much younger. Which did wonders for a lot of things. Yet, why is it that now when I am older and supposedly more sensible, I tend to do the opposite? I did things to put people off. I was impatient and wanted to rush through things, I became more attention-seeking, less understanding. How and when did I evolve to someone like this?
Now another October has come. The third October of my blog. As people know, October is always a very special month for me. This year, I resolve to change to a better person. To be less self-centred. To be more caring and understanding. To behave in a proper way that good things may come, instead of having an adverse effect.
I was never like this in the past. I became like this only after having my heart broken very badly, and being cheated. Perhaps now I tend to be more wary about things, but this should not be at the cost of a healthy emotional well-being, or a budding friendship that could just develop further.
Now that I realise what my problem is, it is time for me to nip it in the bud and resolve it, so it will not further worsen by my own actions and thoughts.
The thing is, I know I have this problem since long ago, but somehow keep repeating the same mistake. Perhaps that was why he left me, but that is all long gone and done for. I have to remember that people are not perfect, neither am I, so I should not be so choosy and expect too much out of others.
Yet in my visions and dreams, I know perfectly well how to behave. I know how to adapt to situations, how to interact and get along with people. I know that certain things take time and effort, not to be rushed into. I also know that it takes a tremendous amount of patience to know and understand another person very well.
And I practised all these when I was much younger. Which did wonders for a lot of things. Yet, why is it that now when I am older and supposedly more sensible, I tend to do the opposite? I did things to put people off. I was impatient and wanted to rush through things, I became more attention-seeking, less understanding. How and when did I evolve to someone like this?
Now another October has come. The third October of my blog. As people know, October is always a very special month for me. This year, I resolve to change to a better person. To be less self-centred. To be more caring and understanding. To behave in a proper way that good things may come, instead of having an adverse effect.
I was never like this in the past. I became like this only after having my heart broken very badly, and being cheated. Perhaps now I tend to be more wary about things, but this should not be at the cost of a healthy emotional well-being, or a budding friendship that could just develop further.
Now that I realise what my problem is, it is time for me to nip it in the bud and resolve it, so it will not further worsen by my own actions and thoughts.
0 comments:
Post a Comment