I may be someone who lives more on my heart, but that is not to say I just fall in love with anyone I see. Well, perhaps the most recent mistake was to fall for someone I have known for just a couple of months, without making absolutely sure that he is available, but that is another story.
So I always get amused whenever people ask me how would I know it is love? How do I know I love the guy? And how do I know I do not love the guy even though we seem to get along greatly? Hard to answer actually. For me, I believe if it is love, one will just know. Similarly, if it is not love and may not become love, one will know.
Contrary to what a lot of people think, it takes me a very long time before the love becomes deep and serious. And I have only ever loved one person this way before. The rest the feelings may be raw love, then later on due to various other factors, the feelings just fade and I move on, feeling a tinge of pity but not that upset as compared to that time.
How long did it take me to love someone to that extent? Right now, no idea. Maybe if Mr Right and Compatible and Everything I Look For suddenly appear, it may really be instantaneous. But that time, we were great friends for about a year or more before we started going out, and we went out for half a year before we were officially together.
Even then, I was not that serious as yet, and it took another two or more years before the feelings became really deep and intense and I was so sure he would be the person I would end up spending my life with.
Of course, love is not to be pushed or forced. You cannot expect a person to say he loves you by sight (although that may happen, but still it takes a while before one determines if the love is true), neither can one expect love to blossom just after a few weeks or months even.
To some, it takes three months; to others, it takes several years. I have friends who know each other for like five years, dating others in between, but after five years they suddenly fall in love and within a year they are married. These are the people whose marriages will last, because they are such good friends that the love just comes naturally.
My best friend and her husband took half a year to fall in love. There is really no deadline on when one will expect the feelings to develop, because sometimes the feelings may suddenly come unexpectedly, months or even years later, whereas sometimes, the feelings may never come.
Which is why people always adhere to letting nature takes its course, and whatever will be, will be. Those who are meant to be together will still end up together no matter how many rounds or how many years later.
So I always get amused whenever people ask me how would I know it is love? How do I know I love the guy? And how do I know I do not love the guy even though we seem to get along greatly? Hard to answer actually. For me, I believe if it is love, one will just know. Similarly, if it is not love and may not become love, one will know.
Contrary to what a lot of people think, it takes me a very long time before the love becomes deep and serious. And I have only ever loved one person this way before. The rest the feelings may be raw love, then later on due to various other factors, the feelings just fade and I move on, feeling a tinge of pity but not that upset as compared to that time.
How long did it take me to love someone to that extent? Right now, no idea. Maybe if Mr Right and Compatible and Everything I Look For suddenly appear, it may really be instantaneous. But that time, we were great friends for about a year or more before we started going out, and we went out for half a year before we were officially together.
Even then, I was not that serious as yet, and it took another two or more years before the feelings became really deep and intense and I was so sure he would be the person I would end up spending my life with.
Of course, love is not to be pushed or forced. You cannot expect a person to say he loves you by sight (although that may happen, but still it takes a while before one determines if the love is true), neither can one expect love to blossom just after a few weeks or months even.
To some, it takes three months; to others, it takes several years. I have friends who know each other for like five years, dating others in between, but after five years they suddenly fall in love and within a year they are married. These are the people whose marriages will last, because they are such good friends that the love just comes naturally.
My best friend and her husband took half a year to fall in love. There is really no deadline on when one will expect the feelings to develop, because sometimes the feelings may suddenly come unexpectedly, months or even years later, whereas sometimes, the feelings may never come.
Which is why people always adhere to letting nature takes its course, and whatever will be, will be. Those who are meant to be together will still end up together no matter how many rounds or how many years later.
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