I was having a conversation with an old friend last night, and I asked her why did she marry her husband? From my understanding, although her husband is really good to her, she never did get over her previous guy.
Her answer? "Sometimes in life, one just have to move on. You may love someone, but at the end of the day, you may marry someone else, have a family with someone else, not because you love him deeply, but because he is the best to have a future with."
Wow... that is so thought-provoking! But then, if you marry someone without much love, would that not be unfair to both parties? Forgive me if I sound too shallow, and for repeating what I have said previously, but I always thought in order to have the companionship that comes with marriage, there must be the love that makes both want to marry each other in the first place, no?
For myself, I can never be with someone I do not love; and I can never marry someone I do not foresee a future with. I can love a person deeply, but if I do not think I want to live my life with him, then I have to make the decision to leave, which I did for a couple of times.
And even if I meet someone I can foresee a future with, but if the feelings are not deep enough for me to really want to be with this person, then I cannot bring myself to be with him too. It will just be unfair to him, if I make a commitment but in the end my heart is not in it.
Thus, I can never marry someone whom I do not love deeply enough (and vice versa). It is very hard to find the perfect match, but I believe if the person has entered my life, I will know. I am not one who give chances to just about anyone, otherwise I would have been in numerous relationships and countless of marriages already.
I still have hope that the right person will come along, one of these days. He will be the one special person whom I will open my heart to, whom I will give my entire heart to, whom I want to be a wife to and set up a family with. Most of all, he will be the one who loves me, wholeheartedly, truly, deeply, committedly and devotedly.
I believe when and if this person ever comes, God will let me know and then everything will flow in place.
Her answer? "Sometimes in life, one just have to move on. You may love someone, but at the end of the day, you may marry someone else, have a family with someone else, not because you love him deeply, but because he is the best to have a future with."
Wow... that is so thought-provoking! But then, if you marry someone without much love, would that not be unfair to both parties? Forgive me if I sound too shallow, and for repeating what I have said previously, but I always thought in order to have the companionship that comes with marriage, there must be the love that makes both want to marry each other in the first place, no?
For myself, I can never be with someone I do not love; and I can never marry someone I do not foresee a future with. I can love a person deeply, but if I do not think I want to live my life with him, then I have to make the decision to leave, which I did for a couple of times.
And even if I meet someone I can foresee a future with, but if the feelings are not deep enough for me to really want to be with this person, then I cannot bring myself to be with him too. It will just be unfair to him, if I make a commitment but in the end my heart is not in it.
Thus, I can never marry someone whom I do not love deeply enough (and vice versa). It is very hard to find the perfect match, but I believe if the person has entered my life, I will know. I am not one who give chances to just about anyone, otherwise I would have been in numerous relationships and countless of marriages already.
I still have hope that the right person will come along, one of these days. He will be the one special person whom I will open my heart to, whom I will give my entire heart to, whom I want to be a wife to and set up a family with. Most of all, he will be the one who loves me, wholeheartedly, truly, deeply, committedly and devotedly.
I believe when and if this person ever comes, God will let me know and then everything will flow in place.
2 comments:
Hey! Remember that marrying for love is a fairly recent fashion. Previously it was about economic or political alliances.
Love is one of the factors for a marriage. There is not question that we all want that perfect marriage, but, I don’t know anyone who has one. They all need work. They all have their weaknesses and strengths.
I understand perfectly that no marriage is perfect. Afterall, to live with someone long-term, it is not likely that people will not change.
But with love, all the commitment, determination and faithfulness comes together. I don't know about others, but to me, I feel that I'm not obligated nor need to be committed and responsible in that way to someone I do not love.
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